I was just doing a random search on Saints who were reluctant to serve God,
I had a slight clue as to why I was searching and figured there was something in scripture that may be exactly how i wanted to describe why I fear a vocation.
This article I found explains my fear more articulately than I was able to put into words. And am thankful there are others through out history who have had the same fear.
And why in a way as beautiful of a life for a vocation as a Priest or Brother there is also great responsibility.
which is why i have a heavy heart i guess in regards to a vocation on one hand I see myself in such a life as a priest or brother but on the other what this blog states is what I understood all along in my heart but wasnt quite able to articulate.
so again i guess this falls under having to honestly Trust God.
That if I make a step towards a vocation I would be doing so in that Trust that I would not inadvertently make a mistake or sin that would impact many on a negative level.
I dont view this as being humble, but rather truely afraid.
I hope I can get over it if the time calls to do so.