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  #1  
Old Jun 3, '12, 5:48 pm
discerningnun discerningnun is offline
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Default Feeling stressed

Is it normal to feel stressed about choosing the right order?
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Old Jun 3, '12, 6:30 pm
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pgnat1 pgnat1 is offline
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Default Re: Feeling stressed

Choosing an order is never an easy thing. It takes gradual prayer and understanding of each order. Also, you can "narrow" your choices by looking at what gifts God has given you. Each order expects something different from you. It honestly depends what is right for you and what God made you for.

As for the stress part, try not to be stressed about it. It takes time and God will help you through it. Keep praying and visit some different orders to narrow your choices... Hope everything works out and God Bless you
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Old Jun 3, '12, 7:33 pm
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Default Re: Feeling stressed

It's tough to be patient when your so close Let the holy spirit guide you and try to relax. It might take some time but its all worth it
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Old Jun 3, '12, 7:40 pm
Bartolome Casas Bartolome Casas is offline
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Default Re: Feeling stressed

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Originally Posted by discerningnun View Post
Is it normal to feel stressed about choosing the right order?
No. You should feel peace. This feeling of being "stressed" is a message to you that something is not right and needs your attention. It is just like when you have a pain a tooth. That pain is there to draw your attention to something that needs your attention.

If a person was feeling stressed about getting engaged, or getting married, instead of feeling joy, peace and happiness, that too would be a message that something is not right and needs your attention.

I think the solution might for you to be honest. I mean being honest to yourself about yourself and what you really thing and feel about various paths. You need to tell yourself the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

I suspect that a part of you knows something that another part of you does not want to hear about.

There is a need for all the parts of your to come together and work out a peace arrangement.
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Old Jun 3, '12, 8:38 pm
Captain America Captain America is offline
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Default Re: Feeling stressed

I'm a 48 year-old married guy. My guess is that it's normal (this is ONLY a guess!). But I'm guessing also that it's like choosing a college; you can end up wishing you'd gone elsewhere (only a pretty tiny fraction end up feeling this way I think), or you can find that even Option B was fantastic (many do; each college is very unique and one gets accustomed and acclimated, and formed, by it, and so it's tough to diss the old alma mater who had such an influence on you!).

Knowing the kind of guy I am, I'd take the pain and opt for an order that was pretty organized and disciplined, over loosey-goosey. I would imagine that I would end up, over time, being able to make more of a positive contribution working in a regular framework. But that's me: some perform better with no organization.
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Old Jun 3, '12, 10:04 pm
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curlycool89 curlycool89 is offline
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Default Re: Feeling stressed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartolome Casas View Post
No. You should feel peace. This feeling of being "stressed" is a message to you that something is not right and needs your attention. It is just like when you have a pain a tooth. That pain is there to draw your attention to something that needs your attention.
It could be that, but she could just be having a general feeling of stress.

If someone has stress about a specific order (let's call it specific stress), then that would point to a problem that one seems to have with that order. The way the OP is phrased though, it seems more like this is a general stress, which could be a problem about anything from the life of a nun in genera to "there are so many orders and how do I choose?"

I'm guessing it's the last one (again, from how the OP is phrased), that is that there are many orders and they're more often then not indiscernible from each other. The marriage analogy would not be that a man is stressed about a certain women, but that he is stressed at not finding the one for him; it doesn't mean she doesn't exist, it just means there's a lot of choices. For some people, including myself, choices are stressful. It's not that the options themselves are bad or stressful, it's that having to choose is itself stressful. I'm guessing it's a personality thing.

To the OP: If you're anything like me, choosing can be stressful, but you feel a lot better once you've made one. The hardest part is accepting that you do have to make a choice, and that by choosing one path you are necessarily choosing to not take other paths.

You probably know that already, and the key is to focus on why you are choosing one path and not on comparing. When you're looking at one order, think of what attracts you to that order in itself, not relative to another order. When you start thinking about them relative to one another, there's inevitably one that one-ups the last one you thought best, and so-on, so that your attitude is always to look for one better and never be satisfied.
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Old Jun 4, '12, 3:50 am
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PerfectTiming PerfectTiming is offline
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Default Re: Feeling stressed

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Originally Posted by discerningnun View Post
Is it normal to feel stressed about choosing the right order?
Yes! There are so many religious orders out there that it can be very overwhelming. But there are ways to make is easier. This is a guide written to help discerners find a community by breaking it down into steps.
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