Cooperating in a Family Member's Sin?

[Mr Kooper 513]

My dad and his girlfriend travel from out of state to visit my wife, daughter and I from time to time. The few times that they have come we allowed them to stay in our house and share a bedroom. I didn't give it much thought since they live together already but as I am learning more about Catholicism I am second guessing myself and questioning if I am cooperating in their sin. Am I? If so, how should I handle this situation?

[maltmom]

I assuming that they would have enough class to not have sex while staying in your home. Since your daughter still lives with you I'd say no, unless she's under say 3 or 4 yrs old. I won't want to give the impression to her that you condone living together without being married. Yes, they are adults, but you are the spiritual leader of your family. My best friend didn't allow her baby to stay in her mother's home if her live in boyfriend was there.

[Mr Kooper 513]

Originally Posted by maltmom

I assuming that they would have enough class to not have sex while staying in your home.

I don't think they would do that while they were here.

[amDg0815]

Originally Posted by Mr Kooper 513

My dad and his girlfriend travel from out of state to visit my wife, daughter and I from time to time. The few times that they have come we allowed them to stay in our house and share a bedroom. I didn't give it much thought since they live together already but as I am learning more about Catholicism I am second guessing myself and questioning if I am cooperating in their sin. Am I? If so, how should I handle this situation?

Your situation is hardly unique. I imagine this happens quite frequently. In my own family there is a similar problem.

You have a practical doubt about the lawfulness of your actions as it applies to complicity in another's sin. The Catholic Church teaches that if a person has a practical doubt about the lawfulness of an action then that person may not act. An example:
If a hunter doubting whether he is aiming at an animal or a man is guilty of homocide if he kills even though it turns out that he slew an animal.

The very fact that you doubt the lawfulness of your actions means you cannot act, that is, accomodate their lifestyle.

It isn't lawful though. Do you think Joseph and Mary would have allowed a unmarried couple to share a bedroom in their house? Of course not. Our Lord said he who loves mother or father more than Me is not worthy of Me. Not an exact quote but you get the meaning.

It is very hard for a person to take a stand against their family - I know that all to well. As far as how to handle it. You already know what to do. It isn't knowledge you lack it is courage to see it through. Their souls are also in danger and you child is being scandalized. A child learns by watching others and how they behave.

[Used2beSherryG]

Allowing them to sleep together in your home would be condoning or being a party to their sin. If i were you, I would let them know ahead of time that your religious views and morals are undergoing a conversion making it impossible for you to open your home to them as sleeping partners. You are the spiritual head of the household. They could opt to stay in your home but in separate sleeping quarters, or spend the night in a hotel/motel and visit during the day.

[Linusthe2nd]

Originally Posted by Mr Kooper 513

My dad and his girlfriend travel from out of state to visit my wife, daughter and I from time to time. The few times that they have come we allowed them to stay in our house and share a bedroom. I didn't give it much thought since they live together already but as I am learning more about Catholicism I am second guessing myself and questioning if I am cooperating in their sin. Am I? If so, how should I handle this situation?

I would say that you should tell your Dad that the next time he will have to rent a motel. You will have other hard choices to make, you may as well get used to it. But you can ask a priest if you like, would encourage it in fact, since none of us can speak with any authority. But I'm certain I am correct.

[Mr Kooper 513]

Originally Posted by maltmom

I assuming that they would have enough class to not have sex while staying in your home. Since your daughter still lives with you I'd say no, unless she's under say 3 or 4 yrs old. I won't want to give the impression to her that you condone living together without being married.

Hi, Maltmom.

My daughter will be one this Thursday. Are you saying that her age matters in how I deal with this? To me that seems like you are suggesting that it's not so much that I am encouraging sin in my dad as much as making sure that my child is raised with good morals. What if I didn't have any children? Would my actions be the same then?

[maltmom]

Originally Posted by Mr Kooper 513

Hi, Maltmom.

My daughter will be one this Thursday. Are you saying that her age matters in how I deal with this? To me that seems like you are suggesting that it's not so much that I am encouraging sin in my dad as much as making sure that my child is raised with good morals. What if I didn't have any children? Would my actions be the same then?

HI, I don't have children either. I put the under 3 or 4 b/c at 1 your daughter is unaware of marriage and relationships. My best friend and her husband took a hard stance with her Mother. Their son spent every Friday night with her. Even as a newborn her live-in boyfriend had to leave and stay with them. They told her that when their son got a little older and wanted to know why Grandpaw had to leave and slept at his house they would tell him. They were going to tell him that Grandma and Grandpaw weren't married like Mom and Dad and that it's a sin. They ended up getting married when he was 3. Her Mother had a horrible marriage to her Dad and never wanted to remarry. In your case your daughter will be one...Happy Birthday sweet girl. I guess at this point in my life I see it as an opportunity to start early. If you don't let them stay in the same room at your house now it will be easier as she gets older to say no. You will not be encouraging their sin and you will raising her with good morals. Both are important.

If you didn't have children. I guess you'll have to decide if their just sleeping in the same bed is encouraging sin.

[Mr Kooper 513]

Thanks, Maltmom

[maltmom]

Originally Posted by Mr Kooper 513

Thanks, Maltmom

You're welcome