Parish Pressure

peacefulteacher · #1 Jun 6, '12, 9:05 pm

Hi,
I'm a Catholic teacher at a private school and an active member of the Parish. I am a Catechist, Eucharistic Minister, and Adorer. I recently went to a CRHP weekend at our parish mostly because I felt I was going to be looked down upon negatively if I didn't support this ministry. I now have chosen not to continue the meetings because I am not comfortable sharing my history where I work and teach so closely. Part of me wants to keep some things private for the sacredness. In my history, I was forced as a teenager to terminate a pregnancy by my parents. It was awful. Took me years to get over that and forgive myself. Actually confessed it many times and still hurts. I just don't want to "go there" again and feel that I want to celebrate the good stuff of God and serve HIM. How do I get back this "she doesn't want to participate" feeling from my local Parish community? Do you think this uncomfortable feeling is God asking me to share my trials?

YADA · #2 Jun 6, '12, 9:09 pm

What is a CRHP weekend?

Who is pressuring you? ...

peacefulteacher · #3 Jun 6, '12, 9:22 pm

CRHP = Christ Renews His Parish
Some of the women in the group who went on the weekend keep asking me if I am going to go to the meeting each week and I'm not sure why I feel pressured to give them an answer. I feel badly that I'm not going, but I do my own spiritual direction and I don't feel comfortable sharing my past trials...something that each person does as part of a 6 month faith formation. Any advice?

Daizies · #4 Jun 6, '12, 10:39 pm

Would it work to say something like "thank you for thinking of me but I already participate in spiritual direction on my own."?

maryjk · #5 Jun 7, '12, 6:42 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by peacefulteacher

CRHP = Christ Renews His Parish
Some of the women in the group who went on the weekend keep asking me if I am going to go to the meeting each week and I'm not sure why I feel pressured to give them an answer. I feel badly that I'm not going, but I do my own spiritual direction and I don't feel comfortable sharing my past trials...something that each person does as part of a 6 month faith formation. Any advice?

I can't imagine having to share my inner most thoughts and feelings on a schedule. That sounds crazy. Or that someone in your parish wants the scoop on everyone.

After someone on line research, CRHP sounds a lot like Cursillo. Neither are required.

Simply say, "no I am not going." Or, " no I am not interested."

PatriceA · #6 Jun 7, '12, 7:27 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by peacefulteacher

CRHP = Christ Renews His Parish
Some of the women in the group who went on the weekend keep asking me if I am going to go to the meeting each week and I'm not sure why I feel pressured to give them an answer. I feel badly that I'm not going, but I do my own spiritual direction and I don't feel comfortable sharing my past trials...something that each person does as part of a 6 month faith formation. Any advice?

I would feel uncomfortable with any type of ministry that requires the participants to share past trials, regardless of what those trials may be. Some things are just NOT any body's business. I don't understand how that renews anything, let alone a parish, if anything in my mind that is undermining the trust that the ministry is trying to build up amongst the parishoners.

And its not that you haven't dealt with your past, you have and with spiritual direction. Its an extremely private matter that only you can decide when and with whom to share those details and I certainly can understand not wanting to do so in a group setting.

I would just say the summer is a busy time for me and I have other activities I've already committed to and my schedule just won't bend to allow me the time to participate in this ministry. I thought it could work, but its just not fair to anybody else since I can't committ to this ministry 100%.

AdamPeter · #7 Jun 7, '12, 5:27 pm

I think most people have things they would be uncomfortable sharing in this type of setting. I think it would be reasonable to simply turn it down.

There are certain things that you only need to discuss with your confessor or spiritual director.

God Bless

InLight247 · #8 Jun 7, '12, 7:37 pm

Quote:

I'm a Catholic teacher at a private school and an active member of the Parish. I am a Catechist, Eucharistic Minister, and Adorer. I recently went to a CRHP weekend at our parish mostly because I felt I was going to be looked down upon negatively if I didn't support this ministry.

You don't have to feel that way. You don't have to do things to fit others' expectation or the expectation you thought others may have. Do things only for the love of God. There are many good things and ministries, but we don't have to participate every single one. As long as we have responded to what God calls us to do, we can have peace of mind. Only try to please God, not men. And we all have rights to keep private things private.

hwriggles4 · #9 Jun 18, '12, 5:47 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by peacefulteacher

CRHP = Christ Renews His Parish
Some of the women in the group who went on the weekend keep asking me if I am going to go to the meeting each week and I'm not sure why I feel pressured to give them an answer. I feel badly that I'm not going, but I do my own spiritual direction and I don't feel comfortable sharing my past trials...something that each person does as part of a 6 month faith formation. Any advice?

Here are a few suggestions:

1) I was on two giving teams for CRHP, and I got more out of being on the giving team than I did as a participant. I'm still in contact with my CRHP brothers, and that was nearly 3 years ago. As far as sharing, CRHP has a "Confidentiality Prayer" that is said at the beginning of the weekend.

2) On the giving team, you don't necessarily have to be a witness. You can help with decorations, logistics, sign-ups, etc. I hope that gives you more of a comfort level.

3) I know this is hard sometimes, but sometimes you have to give a polite "no". You could explain to your CRHP sisters that you have other ministries that you serve that need your time, and we can't do everything. That was one reason I turned down the giving team for a third CRHP. Not to sound selfish, but we all need down time. For a few years, I was an officer in a Catholic group. My officer time was worthwhile, but the time constraints oftentimes made it feel like a 2nd job.

4) On another note, consider attending a Rachel's Vineyard weekend. Your attendance is kept confidential, and you don't have to give your last name (at least that's what I've heard).

I hope this helps.