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  #1  
Old Jun 11, '12, 6:45 pm
MrSylvester MrSylvester is offline
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Join Date: December 10, 2011
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Religion: Traditionalist Catholic.
Talking HowI finally got over my depression.

Hail Mary,

OK guys, some of you may know that in the past year, I've been very depressed.I always had doubts on how much Mary Immaculate loved me and how willing She was to go in making me love her. I also had a lot of doubts and even deep hatred of God because of predestination. How can it be possible for God to be so loving if He has favorites?

But I accepted the reality and concluded that if God doesn't love me, then I'll make Him love me by the Blessed Virgin's help and hers alone. If I could not do a single ounce of good during all these times, then She had to be the one to bring me out of my lukewarmness

Then I found out that one of my main problems was with the virtue of humility. I always knew I was a bad person because in school, I was a big bully and a manipulator. I regretted my actions so much I hated myself and I mean really hated myself in a bad way. I had so many doubts on how Mary would accept someone like me as her but didn't she accept people like Gabriel Possenti as her children and made them saints? It still wasn't enough. In the end, I found out that my lukewarmness had little to do with God not loving me and everything to with me just being incompetent, depressed, angry, and all around pathetic. I didn't advance in virtue because I was too busy pitying myself for what a sinful piece of meat I was and I was always very angry, bitter, rude and willing to explode at any moment.

But Mary showed me something. I found out that its because of this false humility that I have not been advancing.I was to preoccupied with hating myself and imagining Mary rebuking me to recognize that it wasn't what She wanted. She showed me that the way to advance was to believe that I can do good, to believe that I love Her, to accept the fact that I truly love Mary because if I didn't love her and if it wasn't for her, I would have become an atheist or a nay theist long ago. I must believe that I love Her and if I believe that, Mary will believe that I love Her and will believe in me. She'll believe that I can pull an all nighter doing nothing but prayer, something which I never did but which I will soon, she'll believe that I can convert the world by writing a book about Her and good morals, She'll believe that no matter what God wills, no matter how much the devil works and no matter how many spokes in the wheel anyone or fate puts through, just by the power of my own will and Mary's faith in me, I could do anything.

Of course, there is still the fact that I need Mary's help. Yet the necessity of God and Mary's help was what made me suffer the most so how do I go on with this? I already said that if I believe in myself, Mary will believe in me. Also, if I believe in Mary, Mary will believe in me as She said in Banneux: believe in me and I will believe in you. I must believe that She is kind and generous and that She is willing to love me and make me Her perfect son. For crying out loud, we're not talking about any other woman, we're talking about the Blessed Virgin Mary here. She's the woman who'd rather let the world end than betray her feelings for her children; sooner would heaven be annihilated than that she would accept using Judas Iscariot as a scapegoat for humanity's sins as something good. No, even though Mary knew that Judas was going to betray Jesus, She did everything in Her power to save him from falling. THAT is dedication and I'm willing to sign this statement in my own blood.

Speaking of Judas, he fell so badly into sin because he himself knew that he was lukewarm but instead of changing, he blamed Mary and Jesus for being so lukewarm or rather, he blamed them for not believing in him and for thinking that he was so bad. Yet both Mary and Jesus wanted to help Judas rise from his sins. They accepted the fact that he had his faults but instead of calling him pathetic like militant atheists do when Christians get angry or say bad history, they tried helping him. Judas' refusal to listen and accusations that Mary and Jesus didn't believe in him only served to show that he himself knew that he was a sinner and instead of saying that he will do good, accepted things as they were and didn't try to change.

The thing is now, it not accepting what you are thats humble, its acknowledging what you are that is humble but instead of accepting it, you throw it off and say that you will be a good person. I may not be a saint but I won't say I'll be as good a person as I can be. I won't even say that I'll convert everyone on earth. I will say that I want to convert a mountain load of people and bring them closer to the Blessed Virgin's heart and I will do all in my power to show how much of a good husband I am to wards the Blessed Virgin Mary. In fact, this thread alone is dedicated to her.

So in conclusion, believe that you love the Blessed Virgin and She will believe in you and because She believes in you, you will believe in Her. Likewise, if you're talking to her and you ask Her why she believes in you, she'll ask you if you love her. Tell her that yes, you do love her, that you dedicate your wholelife to Her and act as if you love her more than anything. Don't be yourself but be what you want to be. Thats the mostimportant lesson Mary has ever taught me. Thank you sweet Mother of God!
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  #2  
Old Jun 11, '12, 8:27 pm
MS_SURVEYOR MS_SURVEYOR is offline
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Join Date: May 3, 2011
Posts: 8,624
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: HowI finally got over my depression.

In a sort of way I've been there for the last year or so. I owe Mary everything. I gave Mary everything. I'm on my knees every night thanking Mary. I go to sleep praying with Mary to offer my life to Jesus. I dream praying with Mary. I wake up praying with Mary. I spend my day praying with Mary. All to get me closer to Jesus. Through praying with Mary I will get closer to Jesus. She has answered so many of my request to Jesus. Through Mary Jesus listens and hears my prayers. My wife who is Baptist believes now in Mary. So much so she said yesterday for the first time she's thinking about becoming Catholic. I've never pushed Mary on her. Mary is for ever near, hearing our prayers and offering them to Jesus. As she said at Cana,

“Do whatever he tells you.”

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.

Amen
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  #3  
Old Jun 11, '12, 8:58 pm
MS_SURVEYOR MS_SURVEYOR is offline
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Join Date: May 3, 2011
Posts: 8,624
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Default Re: HowI finally got over my depression.

I forgot. I'm glad you got over my depression.

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  #4  
Old Jun 13, '12, 4:36 pm
MrSylvester MrSylvester is offline
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Religion: Traditionalist Catholic.
Default Re: HowI finally got over my depression.

I want to add another tihng. Its NOT enough to want to be like Mary, to imitate her and her virtue and be a saint for Jesus. Its also very very important to understand her and the reasons she does things, her thought process, her struggles, etc... its the reason we should allsay the Rosary. The Rosary not only makes you tell the Blessed Virgin that you love Her alot, it makes you delve into her thoughts. When meditating, don't just grab a mystery and think about, tell the Blessed Virgin to help you and not she might, she WILL help you.
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  #5  
Old Jun 13, '12, 7:20 pm
fred conty fred conty is offline
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Join Date: December 15, 2010
Posts: 5,037
Religion: catholic
Default Re: HowI finally got over my depression.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MS_SURVEYOR View Post
I forgot. I'm glad you got over my depression.

Very impressive.

Our mother Mary is indeed very good to us and I'm happy for you.

It was extremely kind of Jesus to give us one who will never quit asking help for us.

Apart from the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit who are one with us, Mary is the best thing we have going for us, kind, sweet, gentle, thoughtful, and ever caring. As she cared for the child Jesus in Nazereth, she is now carring for all of us. How could we thank her enough.

Peace and happiness to you and a kiss for Mary.
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  #6  
Old Jun 14, '12, 8:25 am
MrSylvester MrSylvester is offline
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Join Date: December 10, 2011
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Religion: Traditionalist Catholic.
Default Re: HowI finally got over my depression.

Thanks everybody!
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