dangerous to have more children - Page 2

Monicad · #16 Jun 19, '12, 6:32 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarkEzraB

It may be that the Dr.' S are wrong but a small bit of background info my wife had severe problems with our first child's birth, and I nearly lost her and my son before they made it to the hospital. She nearly bleed to death. I'm not trying to start an argument and of course I should talk to my priest.

Thank you for sharing your story, I do not have any answers for you other then I know artificial contracteption is not the answer (even if it was not sinful it has higher failure rates statistically then NFP anyway so too risky.)

Someone else mentioned the Pope Paul V institute I HIGHLY recommend that you check them out. They put a lot of effort into addressing fertility and medical concerns from an ethical and Catholic perspective and help a lot of people. Too many doctors hand women a prescription for birth control pills and show them the door. Of course your wife's doctor may very well be a good person but it is worth contacting them.

Welcome soon to the church and please be assured of my prayers for the burden that you are now carrying. Please take care as best as you can and best wishes for your future and your wife's health. God bless.

seeking light · #17 Jun 20, '12, 5:17 am

have you thought about bromine or simelar ? this is not a contraceptive but a suppresant that prevents both sexes from producing the hormones that rule the sex drive(no inter ferance with fertility et all just is the opposite to viagra). At 23 i have been advised not to have any more children but was told that women under the age of 35 are unsutable to have sterilisation as quite often the fillopian tubes grow back these regrown sections are weeker and more prone to ectopic pregnancies they only way to ensure regrowth doesnt occure is to have a full removal of both uterus and overies. the side affects of a full removall include early onset ostioparosis not something you want if you have children to run arround with.
when my husband *(now 52) was in the army they used to put bromine in the water to calm the soliers on long stints. we have been using it for 4 months now and have only twice had enough of a sexdrive between use to even consider anything its a lot easyer to exercise restrainnt when you arnt having to fight temptation on a regular basis.

Myqyl · #18 Jun 20, '12, 8:27 am

PLEASE! Everyone facing this issue...

Talk to your priest! In my original post I stated that I could be wrong. I stand by that statement. And while I'm the only one that admitted the possibility, it holds true for EVERY poster here.

This is NOT a question for a forum. Anyone that suggests they can answer such a question based on the short description in the Original Post has already errored. Your priest is there for a reason and this is it...

God bless you all, and know that you are in my prayers.

PaulGH · #19 Jun 20, '12, 9:04 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by themeginthemoon

This thread worries me

My reproductive health is circling the drain... My options are now
1) Have the lining of my uterus cauterized, making it impossible to carry a viable fetus, but easy to have tons of miscarriages (depressing, sounds terrible) unless we are totally abstinent (my husband will NOT go for that)
2) Have a full hysterectomy... and I'm not even 30

3) Just carry on sick and miserable with 10 day periods that come every 20 days and grow giant painful cysts that rupture and cause me to hemorrhage.

Yuck. What the heck is the ethical option here?

None of those options sound appealing.

But given the circumstances you described, I would think that option #2 would be morally acceptable. However, I could be wrong. And this option may have some bad medical side effects as well -- I have no idea. Even option #1 (without total abstinence) might be morally acceptable, given the circumstances.

Have you consulted a pro-life, NFP-only doctor? Even if you have to travel a considerable distance to the nearest pro-NFP doctor, it might be worth doing so, considering the seriousness of your situation.

You might also want to consult the National Catholic Bioethics Center, regarding which of your options are morally acceptable.

PaulGH · #20 Jun 20, '12, 9:10 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by seeking light

have you thought about bromine or simelar ?

I would urge extreme caution with this suggestion. A quick Google search on "bromine" turns up some serious health problems that can be caused by exposure to bromine -- at least as claimed by the web sites where I found the information. It would be best to check with a health professional.

The Bucket · #21 Jun 20, '12, 1:57 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by themeginthemoon

This thread worries me

My reproductive health is circling the drain... My options are now
1) Have the lining of my uterus cauterized, making it impossible to carry a viable fetus, but easy to have tons of miscarriages (depressing, sounds terrible) unless we are totally abstinent (my husband will NOT go for that)
2) Have a full hysterectomy... and I'm not even 30

3) Just carry on sick and miserable with 10 day periods that come every 20 days and grow giant painful cysts that rupture and cause me to hemorrhage.

Yuck. What the heck is the ethical option here?

Why would these be your only options? Clearly you need treatment to resolve a serious medical issue. If a doctor said these were your only options well... I don't know what to tell you. If there are alternative treatments then the principle of double effect comes into play and there have been a million threads about that.

MarkEzraB · #22 Jun 20, '12, 2:00 pm

Maybe I wad a little off base by saying NFP was no longer an option. We have talked to more than one Dr. four in fact. I WILL TALK TO MY PRIEST. Sorry for shouting. I brought it up on the forum because I am gone from home a lot so I don't have much time to talk to my priest so forget I asked and s

imply keep me and my family in your prayers that we may find an answer that the church agrees with

seeking light · #23 Jun 21, '12, 2:53 am

also i would talk to your local cannon if you can they have a more indepth knnowlege of these things than bishops. when we were first consulting spiritual directors we were told that although abstinence is the prefered option we are all human if it cant be mannaged then we have to decide what is the lesser sin. sanctity of life cuts both ways the mothers life is just as sacred as any unborn children our priest felt that it was a lesser sin to use a non abortificant contraceptive (ie condom) and preserve the mothers life than to let the conception hapen and have both lives lost. However it would he felt still be a sin that we would have to account for on judgement day and he did press on us to ask to cannon for clarification as tha was his interpritation

RedSoxWife · #24 Jun 22, '12, 7:56 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarkEzraB

Maybe I wad a little off base by saying NFP was no longer an option. We have talked to more than one Dr. four in fact. I WILL TALK TO MY PRIEST. Sorry for shouting. I brought it up on the forum because I am gone from home a lot so I don't have much time to talk to my priest so forget I asked and s

imply keep me and my family in your prayers that we may find an answer that the church agrees with

This has likely already been suggested, but if there's any way you can take your wife to a NaPro doctor I'd strongly suggest it. I was told my numerous doctors that the only solution to my problem was birth control pills. If I had listened to them instead of getting a second (more like eighth) opinion I would probably be dead. It took my NaPro doctor less than five minutes to uncover the real problem. Less than a week later I was in surgery. A few days after that I was actually recovering, instead of getting sicker and sicker.

You really might get a different solution with a NaPro doctor. Prayers. I know this can't be easy.

maryjk · #25 Jun 22, '12, 8:20 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarkEzraB

The doctors have told my wife that having another child will most likely kill her and the child .NFP is now not an option. As a soon to be Catholic I'm interested in other parents views on this. Oh and by the way we already have two wonderful children my daughter is5 and my son is 1

I know how you feel. It would be dangerous for me to have another child. I have one, he is 16. He was very early and had to spend time in the NICU.

A special doctor can't help. It isn't hormones or anything like that, that is a problem. My uterus is not shaped the way it is supposed to be. I would need surgery to fix it, and that surgery is also dangerous and not guaranteed to work. So I am stuck.

I have two options. Total and complete abstinence or very careful NFP. My husband and I chose NFP.

Augusta Sans · #26 Jun 25, '12, 9:11 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarkEzraB

The doctors have told my wife that having another child will most likely kill her and the child .NFP is now not an option. As a soon to be Catholic I'm interested in other parents views on this. Oh and by the way we already have two wonderful children my daughter is5 and my son is 1

If pregnancy=death, I am in agreement with you that NFP is not an option. If the consequence of an unplanned pregnancy were my death, I certainly hope my husband would also agree that the only possible solution is celibacy. I can't imagine how worthless a woman would feel if her husband valued a romp in the sack more than her life.

You are a good husband, and your wife is lucky to have a husband who values her life more than his own sexual pleasure.

Dorothy · #27 Jun 25, '12, 9:19 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by chief714

The fate of your wife and future children are not in the Dr's hands. They may mean well, but I know of plenty of times personally when the Dr's are incorrect.

Place your faith in God and speak to a Fr. in your Parrish.

I have heard many times a doctor telling a patient the exact same thing, only for them to have everything turn out just fine.

A dear friend of mine told me that when her mother was pregnant with her the doctor said it would be dangerous and that she should have an abortion. Husband and wife prayed, and all was well.

I am not saying it may always turn out this way, but what the Church teaches us is in our best interests, even if it is a heavy cross. The Lord blesses us as we carry our crosses.

babochka · #28 Jun 25, '12, 9:54 am

Childbirth is always dangerous, but sometimes the risk is known ahead of time. When I was pregnant with my 3rd child, the doctor who performed the c-section told me that it would be dangerous to have more children. He was certain that my uterus would rupture in those circumstances. He told me that if I did get pregnant again, I would need to have a scheduled c-section at 37 weeks (which is the beginning of what doctors consider "full term", but the babies can still have minor problems). I have gone on to have two more babies, both of which were born at close to 42 weeks (or 2 weeks "past due"). Doctors really just don't always know, and Obstetricians in particular seem to opt for extreme caution.

On the other hand, if 4 doctors have given you the same advice, I certainly understand the concern and need to do everything possible to keep your wife healthy and alive.

I do not envy you this situation and will keep you in my prayers. I second the advice to talk to a good priest and an NFP doctor.