Single father, interested in the faith..can I be accepted? - Page 2

Spencerian · #16 May 17, '12, 11:17 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by YoungTradCath

I am certain that you can have your child baptized without his mother's consent. It is his soul at stake.

This is very bad advice.

Often, a state's parental rights where joint legal custodianship exists, neither parent can enroll a minor child unilaterally without mutual consent. See this recent news report on a woman that baptized her children without the father's agreement and is now facing charges.

Some background to help you here:

I am in this very situation at the moment, where my son's atheist mother has blocked me from completing what was left of my son's RCIA courses, preventing him from becoming Catholic this past Easter Vigil.

Such court orders in my case are questionable, however, for one special exception. I can't enroll my child in any religious group and neither can the mother...but the child can enroll himself. My son turns 16 this week. He is old enough to learn to drive and to drive a multi-ton vehicle with a licensed driver. He also attended the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults, not "Children." I was basically the transportation. Under Canon Law, I couldn't enroll my son into the Church even if I wanted to, at his age. He must choose the faith on his own, no matter how many times I drove him to courses or encouraged him.

So, if my son were to get a ride up to our parish and arrange for his initiation Sacraments, he could do so.

Were that to happen, I'm sure his mother would drag me to court. However, the U.S. Constitution's Free Exercise of religion clause applies to my son's right to choose a religion himself. The law has no set age for him to wait. A separated/divorced couple's divorce decrees apply only to them, not the children if they wished to act independently and had legitimate, reasoned causes for doing so.

The Church's rules prohibit me from enrolling my son at his age myself, so I would not be liable. The State cannot prohibit him from enrollment in the Church, and the law also prohibits his mother (or myself) from interference.

Even should my son meet his end before his baptism, the teaching of "baptism by desire" gives me assurance that these legal battles would not affect my child's salvation.

So age plays a serious factor here. Please use any advice you find here with care and do see an attorney as well as your parish priest and/or diocesan representative on such matters.

clem456 · #17 May 17, '12, 11:27 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by YoungTradCath

I am certain that you can have your child baptized without his mother's consent. It is his soul at stake.

Whhhooooooaaa hold on a second. Baptism is good for the soul, but the behind- the- back move may cause some serious problems. Work on getting the consent. There are some legal issues here and as Catholics we do need to take those into consideration. And there are also some moral issues here as well between the parents and consent.

Marchmain1987 · #18 May 17, '12, 7:48 pm

Please listen to the good advice on here and talk with your/a priest.

If you wish your child to be a Catholic, you may (more than likely) have to wait until he is of age to make-up his own mind to enter the Church if the mother objects.

But, if you are truly worried about your son’s soul, nothing prevents you from doing it yourself (and keeping it to yourself if you think the mother would have a problem).

But that is neither here nor there is it?

People do alot of things....

benjohnson · #19 May 19, '12, 8:44 am

>>nothing prevents you from doing it yourself

Really? I would have never suspected that was allowed in the Catholic Church. I can't say I would recommend it myself, unless under the most dire of circumstances.

If you consider follow that advice, you must absolutely and unquestioning must vet the idea with someone with authority in your Catholic Church.

*If* that is allowed and *if* it is wise and you decide to do it, and you *can't* find someone to perform it properly, be every sure to follow the ritual exactly. I was baptized in a random presbyterian church and I'm not entirely sure that it was a triune baptism, so here I sit awkwardly wondering if I should get truly baptized or not.

Marchmain1987 · #20 May 19, '12, 2:58 pm

1. It is allowed only in the most extreme cases – if the father truly fears for the soul of his son (e.g. if the mother wants the child raised in no faith at all or a church whose baptisms are not valid).

2. Of course, this may create problems between mother and father. Loose-lips-sink-ships.

3. From the CCC: “1256 The ordinary ministers of Baptism are the bishop and priest and, in the Latin Church, also the deacon. In case of necessity, anyone, even a non-baptized person, with the required intention, can baptize, by using the Trinitarian baptismal formula. The intention required is to will to do what the Church does when she baptizes. The Church finds the reason for this possibility in the universal saving will of God and the necessity of Baptism for salvation.”

4. Blessed Pope Pius IX comes to mind.

5. And I know of one case, personally, where a grandmother carried her grandchild to her priest because he was going to be raised a Protestant. The priest baptized him.

6. Of course, there would be no baptism certificate, etc. And that may create minor problems later on (then a priest might baptize just as an assurance of the validity of the baptism). But that would depend on the priest and circumstances.

agnes therese · #21 May 19, '12, 5:36 pm

Welcome! No worries -- I was a single mother when I came into the Church.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mgray82

Hello, I'm interested in attending the RCIA program this fall. Assuming perusing faith in the Catholic Church, could I be accepted if I have a child? Obviously he is not Catholic nor is his biological mother.

So, could I be accepted in the Church? And if so, how could I go about baptizing my son into the Church? He's 3 years old by the way..

thistle · #22 May 19, '12, 6:13 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mgray82

Hello, I'm interested in attending the RCIA program this fall. Assuming perusing faith in the Catholic Church, could I be accepted if I have a child? Obviously he is not Catholic nor is his biological mother.

So, could I be accepted in the Church? And if so, how could I go about baptizing my son into the Church? He's 3 years old by the way..

We don't have the full story of you and the child's mother but assuming you have custody of your child and you become a Catholic then you would be able to have the child baptised. It would make no difference if the mother objected. She would have no say.

Mgray82 · #23 May 20, '12, 5:35 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by thistle

We don't have the full story of you and the child's mother but assuming you have custody of your child and you become a Catholic then you would be able to have the child baptised. It would make no difference if the mother objected. She would have no say.

Thank you all for the response to my post. I have got a lot of insight here.

In regards to me and the child's mother, we are on good terms with each other. We actually are on a shared parenting agreement through the courts. My son just turned 3 and I currently take him to a non-denominational Christian church. He (and myself) has never been baptized.

I have felt a profound drawing towards the catholic church for the past 5 or 6 months now and just recently elected to talk to a priest, and pursue RCIA in the late summer/early fall. I do plan on becoming baptized into the church as my spirit is growing more and more attached to the church.

Where I stand with my son is; I'm happy with him at the non-denominational church because I feel, at the least he's learning about Jesus Christ. And to my own testimony, simply knowing and believing in the Lord is what later saved my life (if I had time to give a testimony, I've walked a rough path in life up until a few years ago).

His mother I think, may take him to a protestant church here and there, every now and then. Where as, I take him regularly, just as I attend both the non-denominal church and mass at the catholic church weekly.

I would think it to be a low blow to his mother to baptize him behind her back..then at the same time I figure, what would it hurt? Perhaps I should hold off baptizing him and just worry about myself first. Then later on down the road, when he's of older mind, baptize him into the church.

I don't know, it's still confusing. Again thanks for the replies.

MissRose73 · #24 May 20, '12, 6:02 am

Prayers for you both.

You as an adult can freely enroll and participate in RCIA to be fully initiated as a Catholic. You can also attend Mass too, and bring your son with his mother's permission. If the child's mother has no issues with him being baptized Catholic and raised that way, then go ahead with preparation otherwise wait until the child is older and can make a choice with the help of a parent to be fully initiated.

My sister was raised Catholic but fell away. She married and had 2 children with another non practicing Catholic then divorced the father of her children. Neither child was baptized much to the dismay of my mother. But my sister allowed my mother to take the children to Mass when she minded them for my sister. My sister and her ex husband relented and allowed the children to go through a children's version of RCIA at ages 7 and 9. My mother took them to Mass and instruction for the most part plus taught them at home with permission of the parents. The parents were there as the children were fully initiated at Easter Vigil, and I was one of the godparents. As my sister still does not go to Mass, it is up to others to make sure they attend as they are too young go alone.