whats wrong with me?? - Page 2

SgtSchultz · #16 Jul 16, '12, 8:45 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oneofthewomen

SSA is a term I never heard until I came to this forum.
I have very strong, negative opinions about the term, but that is for another thread.

The Chruch uses the term "homosexual". You can see here, what the Catechism has to say on the topic, and OP, I strongly recommend that you pray with that.

I stand corrected. I must have heard the term on the main CA site and assumed it was an official term.

TheRealJuliane · #17 Jul 16, '12, 8:53 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by SgtSchultz

I stand corrected. I must have heard the term on the main CA site and assumed it was an official term.

On this forum, people use "same sex attraction" to denote the draw toward someone of one's own gender as a romantic interest. Separate from the ACT of homosexual sex, which is termed "homosexuality." Because we discuss chastity with people who have a same sex attraction, we want to separate out the sin from the sinner, if you see what I mean. You can talk about having same sex attraction but not living a homosexual lifestyle. If we just termed everything "homosexuality," then we'd be lumping everyone together, the ones who haven't had homosexual sexual contact, with the practicing homosexuals.

SgtSchultz · #18 Jul 16, '12, 9:09 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheRealJuliane

On this forum, people use "same sex attraction" to denote the draw toward someone of one's own gender as a romantic interest. Separate from the ACT of homosexual sex, which is termed "homosexuality." Because we discuss chastity with people who have a same sex attraction, we want to separate out the sin from the sinner, if you see what I mean. You can talk about having same sex attraction but not living a homosexual lifestyle. If we just termed everything "homosexuality," then we'd be lumping everyone together, the ones who haven't had homosexual sexual contact, with the practicing homosexuals.

Fair enough.

Quote:

CCC 2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex.

So basically, SSA means the desires, feelings, etc., while "homosexuality" refers to the practises?

Am I correct, though, in my claim that the Church's position is that one is not a homosexual just because they may have sexual attractions towards the same sex, provided they do not act on them?

AnneElizabeth · #19 Jul 16, '12, 9:16 pm

How long ago did you pull away from worldly things? Are you still into worldly things? Worldly influences? (an over abundance of worldly reminders from Friends, television watching, magazines etc.) I'm assuming the movement towards religious life is recent, like in the last 5 years?

You don't give your age here. I am assuming from what other posters have said that you are in your early 20's. If so, what you have said here sounds typical for your age.

Breaking away from the world for the first time is scary. I am assuming that you have given much prayer, thought and consideration to the truths of the faith, yes? Keep in mind, these trails are just that. Trials. No, you aren't gay, but many in society would/might probably deem you as being such given that most men (young ones especially) are deemed 'strange' by each other if they don't go girl chasing. Sorry to say, but you will have to learn how to deal with people who will assume wrong things about you.

Keep in mind too, that even lay catholic men have to pull away from this worldly way of thinking as well. Its a part of growing into a man... something you at this age are grappling with, yes? This is also a part of self control- you have to ditch what the world might think of you. I am assuming you are fearing that a bit now which is why you posted. There are probably many good men out there who have chosen to 'wait' until marriage that also get this sort of pressure.. so don't feel too alone.
Find some like minded friends who will support you and understand the beauty of celibacy.

You will be convincing when you will show forth the light of God. Pure. It shines through the eyes, and you will be able to then look any accuser straight in the eye. So work on that- being pure, being single minded for God. This may be a part of the reason why you feel imperfect/tarnished as you say? You may be pushing too fast in spiritual growth, trying to leap ahead.

If you don't find any consolation or attraction to marriage I don't think that is abnormal for your age either. I think you are trying to rush things or see into the future. I didn't find marriage itself (REAL marriage, not the fairy tale stuff) an attractive proposal until I was about 29- even though as a girl I always wanted to get married. (I STILL think its a daunting endeavor, though) I think part of your problem could be the culture right now and what it deems as normal. (Pssst... don't listen to what you see on your tv, its not reality.) You are trying to pull away and its hard to leave that fold. In due time with God's grace, you will be able.

Relax. Don't go so fast.. all in God's time!

God Bless!

Rainaldo · #20 Jul 16, '12, 9:54 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by mymamamary

And please no telling me to quit communicating my highs and lows to the internet. I am asking for opinions, not smirk comments.

Get to work!

Did you read anything yet?

triumphguy · #21 Jul 16, '12, 10:14 pm

MyM...

There;s things you have to do as a young person:

- go to school, get decent grades, obey your parents. These will also help with your vocation.

- there's things you can do as a young person to actively promote your vocation: prayers, spiritual direction, frequent reception of the sacraments, reading up on the saints/orders that you find attractivve

- there's things you are going to go through as a young person just because your body and mind is still growing and becoming adult: angst, anxiety, anger, doubt, sexual attraction confusion (maybe), aggression, temptation, desire to Paartay, desire to fit in with everyone else, desire to drive too fast, play music too loud and just upset old fogies. BTW the human brain doesn't stop developing 'til the twenties. You need to struggle through this as you become the person you choose to be. You will fall, fail, sin, sin again, do dumb and stupid things - don't panic - it's normal..

As St. Paul says, Keep your eye on the prize.

DaddyGirl · #22 Jul 16, '12, 10:14 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by mymamamary

Moderators, if this thread is in the wrong place, move it.

Dear Forum.

I feel imperfect/tarnished.

Reason being is that I feel called to Holy Priesthood. However here are my problems.

1. I dont feel attracted towards dating or towards Marriage. I love girls just as much as the next guy, and I get infatuated towards them. However, I dont feel any consolation or any attraction towards dating or Marriage.

2. Im not gay, 1. Its a sin, 2. Its disgusting. Although, when i say stuff like I said above^^^, I feel like im gay. I love the idea of Celibacy, and I feel like its a very reasonable demand, although, if i told people, I would feel Gay. Although im not.

3. I dont want a career, I dont want a 9-5 job, but all the same, i wouldnt mind monastic kind of work, divided by prayer, for e.g farming, mechanics, cleaning etc.

--Being gay is NOT a sin.

--It's interesting that even though thou dost protest much, twice you said you "feel" gay. I don't understand your contradictory words...

--Maybe you have low testosterone/sex drive?

--Most people loathe the idea of a 9-5, rat-race job--you are certainly not alone in that at all.

--so....why do you feel imperfect/tarnished? Still unclear on this...

Seira · #23 Jul 16, '12, 10:26 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by SgtSchultz

Do you find girls to be sexually attractive? If so, you aren't gay. Simple as that.

Unless you're bi. However, you'd have to find guys to be sexually atractive as well. Which you didn't say that... so you most likely are not. I think you're just a confused teen having one of those days when you aren't sure of anything in life. It happens, but I do think it would be wise to either discuss matters w/ a spiritual director or a priest.

Contra Mundum · #24 Jul 16, '12, 10:59 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by triumphguy

Buddy - It's called the teenage wasteland.

It's normal, and uncomfortable as all get out. It's part of the human condition.

Yup exactly. I promise, it will pass and one day you will feel more comfortable in your skin.

I don't understand why you think it is a problem that you are attracted to girls but don't want marriage. That is only logical if you have a vocation to the priesthood, right?

There's nothing wrong with you.

mymamamary · #25 Jul 17, '12, 4:14 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by triumphguy

MyM...

There;s things you have to do as a young person:

- go to school, get decent grades, obey your parents. These will also help with your vocation.

- there's things you can do as a young person to actively promote your vocation: prayers, spiritual direction, frequent reception of the sacraments, reading up on the saints/orders that you find attractivve

- there's things you are going to go through as a young person just because your body and mind is still growing and becoming adult: angst, anxiety, anger, doubt, sexual attraction confusion (maybe), aggression, temptation, desire to Paartay, desire to fit in with everyone else, desire to drive too fast, play music too loud and just upset old fogies. BTW the human brain doesn't stop developing 'til the twenties. You need to struggle through this as you become the person you choose to be. You will fall, fail, sin, sin again, do dumb and stupid things - don't panic - it's normal..

As St. Paul says, Keep your eye on the prize.

I love to go to confession weekly, at the minimum, Holy EUCHARIST again, once a week at the minimum, at MASS, I love spiritual reading, in fact I'm reading Peter Kreefts Catholic Christianity book, which is a thinner version of the Catechism (albeit its still pretty thick), I love to read about my heroes the saints, and I Find St. Francis and St. Benedict and their respective orders pretty cool, etc., I altar Serve, I lector, although I do want to pray more. I have my prayers that i say at night, but I want more. Also, I see my classmates and that party lifestyle. It doesnt appeal to me. At all. I got nothing against Alcohol, its fine to have a couple of beers when you are OVER the age and not a full case. And that sex before marriage, ewh, std central. To be honest, I enjoy being a virgin, alot. Although I do get times like this.....

Marie5890 · #26 Jul 17, '12, 7:20 am

MyM,

I hear what you are saying and can understand your wanting to sort things out, especially in terms of your own feelings towards people, girls, the priesthood etc.

First. Being gay is not a sin. As a priest, if that is where God leads you, you will being dealing with all kinds of people, including gay people. Bringing the attitude of "its disgusting" will not help you in being a good priest, full of love, towards all people. So try to separate the idea that being gay is a disordered affection and the acts.

I know people who happen to be gay. I have family members who happen to be gay. They are great people and I love them dearly, regardless of who they find themselves attracted to.

2nd) Being careful in trying to hash out these big issues here on the internet. Glad to hear you will be picking up all of this with a spiritual director in the fall. These kinds serious issues need to be hashed out with good spiritual direction and not will well intended people on the internet

3) I hear your profound excited towards the priesthoood!! Thats GREAT!!!...However, be careful that you arent romantisizing the priesthood and building up a fantasy around it either. A good spiritual director will help makes sure you are seeing clearly what is going on with that too...

God Bless...

paperwight66 · #27 Jul 17, '12, 7:40 am

Excellent post, Marie5890.

Thank you for putting things so clearly and yet so kindly.

triumphguy · #28 Jul 17, '12, 8:50 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by mymamamary

I love to go to confession weekly, at the minimum, Holy EUCHARIST again, once a week at the minimum, at MASS, I love spiritual reading, in fact I'm reading Peter Kreefts Catholic Christianity book, which is a thinner version of the Catechism (albeit its still pretty thick), I love to read about my heroes the saints, and I Find St. Francis and St. Benedict and their respective orders pretty cool, etc., I altar Serve, I lector, although I do want to pray more. I have my prayers that i say at night, but I want more. Also, I see my classmates and that party lifestyle. It doesnt appeal to me. At all. I got nothing against Alcohol, its fine to have a couple of beers when you are OVER the age and not a full case. And that sex before marriage, ewh, std central. To be honest, I enjoy being a virgin, alot. Although I do get times like this.....

Just remember you are going to go through a lot of ups and downs in your journey through life.

The "ups" when everything is smooth and you feel joy, don't mean you have "made it" and the "downs" don;t mean you are failing either.