Why Has God Let So Many Be Single In This Day In Age? - Page 4

Whatine · #46 Jun 19, '12, 8:08 pm

Although I wouldn't advise in dating a girl not worthy of a good Catholic man, I might say to have a little patience in a woman who is not 100% committed to her faith. When my husband and I met, we were not really practicing and we grew through the Grace of God into our faith together. We went from living together and contracepting prior to marriage to a married couple who not only practice NFP but now give witness talks about our conversion.

As an aside, I wonder if people who find themselves unable to find a mate do so because their spouse that God willed for them was aborted in the womb. A third of my generation has been lost to that great evil.

**GEddie** · #47 Jun 19, '12, 8:16 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whatine

Although I wouldn't advise in dating a girl not worthy of a good Catholic man, I might say to have a little patience in a woman who is not 100% committed to her faith. When my husband and I met, we were not really practicing and we grew through the Grace of God into our faith together. We went from living together and contracepting prior to marriage to a married couple who not only practice NFP but now give witness talks about our conversion.

As an aside, I wonder if people who find themselves unable to find a mate do so because their spouse that God willed for them was aborted in the womb. A third of my generation has been lost to that great evil.

It sounds tragic, but I for one do not believe for one second that everybody has only one "soul mate" in the whole world.

For that matter, God nowhere in Scripture promises everybody a spouse.

When sex-selection abortion is allowed, it can make finding a spouse more difficult. But marriage is not the default state for non-clerics. Some people for whatever reason will just not get there.

ICXC NIKA

benjammin · #48 Jun 19, '12, 8:57 pm

I feel like this is a complicated question with many extremely complicated answers but here is the way i see it from my perspective as a 23 year old Catholic trying to grow his faith. I feel like sometimes its hard for me because its hard to find girls who are serious catholics, but for some reason the ones that are don't want to date me. I know looks and attractiveness matter, especially at a young age, but it feels like thats all girls look at(even good catholic girls), but we are only human. I also have seen a lot of discrimination from non catholic girls. Not necessarily those with no religion, but those who are protestant and especially evangelical won't date catholic guys, even if anymore evangelicals agree with catholics on a number of issues. I even had a girl say that she couldn't date me because of my faith.I understand why, but still, its not like i wanted to force her to convert

LotusCarsLtd · #49 Jun 19, '12, 9:34 pm

I also want to express my understanding that we do not have one single "soul mate", but instead that there are multiple partners with whom we have high levels of compatibility and with whom we'd be perfectly happy. Or, put another way, out of the millions of people of the opposition sex in the world, there are several hundred of them with whom we'd be very happy with.

This has been discussed here before: http://archive.catholic.com/newsletters/kke_080108.asp

Verden Leafglow · #50 Jun 20, '12, 1:05 pm

While I haven't read the most recent posts, I was caught by one on the first page, noting the amount of standards one should have when choosing a mate, and I'd like to relate this to the author's main post...

For me, one of the biggest problems with meeting women is plain and simple modesty issues. Society's taken it's toll on both women and men, and it's hard for me to conceive how a meaningful, holy relationship would be possible if Christian modesty isn't taken seriously.

And, yes, I often feel like it's just me that has this problem. Please, please prove me wrong.

dborer42 · #51 Jun 20, '12, 9:46 pm

I can certainly understand why many Catholics are not marrying (men or women). They've probably known or heard of too many people being married for years, and then 15, 20, 25 years or more into the marriage, their spouse wants a divorce. Quite often for no morally licit reason. Then, (especially for men, but I know women who have had this happen also) after the "family courts" wreak havoc on them financially, emotionally, etc., etc., the abandoning spouse turns around and petitions for a declaration of nullity, in which far too often (over 90% in the U.S.) the marriage ends up being declared null.

If you know there is a pretty fair chance you'll have the rug pulled out from under you after (sometimes) decades of marriage, with the full support of the Church, urging your spouse to petition for nullity, you might be a little wary of marriage, too.

David

43Kristen · #52 Jun 22, '12, 9:31 am

Do you have a spiritual director? It might be another dimension to explore. Many saints had one and I read that Saint Faustina who was a mystic strongly recommended that it would be good if everyone had one. Anyway, it could help you look "outside of the box." Having a spiritual director has helped me tremendously over the years. It just a thought.

Blessings,

Emerite · #53 Jun 23, '12, 2:23 pm

My heart goes out to those with difficulty seeking a mate in this day and time. Life today has become more complex, and it appears that communication has been relegated to cellphones and other electronic gadgets. What about joining, or forming, a group with common interests, i.e., tennis, card games, young singles groups at your church, taking night classes at a nearby university, political election group, chorale groups, photography club, etc.? And I still believe that married couples should take the time to introduce their single friends to each other. My spouse and I have made many good friends over the years on tennis courts, at language and bridge classes, and in chorale groups, who share a common interest.