Infertility

[dkoinzan]

Finally my blood work is done!!!!!!!! It looks as if I have a thyroid issue. Something with the ratio difference. I still have to speak with Dr. Hilgers about it. I plan to go have glucose test also. It seems like several things have come back slightly abnormal but no definate answers to anything.

[Convert in 99]

Originally Posted by dkoinzan

Finally my blood work is done!!!!!!!! It looks as if I have a thyroid issue. Something with the ratio difference. I still have to speak with Dr. Hilgers about it. I plan to go have glucose test also. It seems like several things have come back slightly abnormal but no definate answers to anything.

Aww...I hope you get better soon! Prayers for you!

Keep us updated, okay?

[Chovy]

Originally Posted by dkoinzan

Finally my blood work is done!!!!!!!! It looks as if I have a thyroid issue. Something with the ratio difference. I still have to speak with Dr. Hilgers about it. I plan to go have glucose test also. It seems like several things have come back slightly abnormal but no definate answers to anything.

It sounds like you are on the road to answers at least! I'm glad! You're still in my prayers.

[aurora77]

Originally Posted by Chovy

It sounds like you are on the road to answers at least! I'm glad! You're still in my prayers.

Ditto. I'm glad you're finally getting somewhere!

[LittleDeb]

Originally Posted by dkoinzan

Finally my blood work is done!!!!!!!! It looks as if I have a thyroid issue. Something with the ratio difference. I still have to speak with Dr. Hilgers about it. I plan to go have glucose test also. It seems like several things have come back slightly abnormal but no definate answers to anything.

My 1000th post is a continuing prayer for you! Thanks for giving me a meaningful reason to make it.

[Convert in 99]

You all are still in my prayers. Especially you "dkoinzan" during your current troubles.

I do have a kind of off the subject question for you all. Please keep responding to "dkoinzan" over this. It really is trivial. I don't mean to sound inconsiderate at all. If I do, I am sorry, please just ignore my question.

Question: "Do most of you work outside the home? If you are/were a stay at home wife (like me) without children, what do/did you do to keep yourself busy and occupied during the day (so you don't think about not having kids?)

Any comments or suggestions would be most appreciated! Thanks!

[dkoinzan]

Originally Posted by Convert in 99

You all are still in my prayers. Especially you "dkoinzan" during your current troubles.

I do have a kind of off the subject question for you all. Please keep responding to "dkoinzan" over this. It really is trivial. I don't mean to sound inconsiderate at all. If I do, I am sorry, please just ignore my question.

Question: "Do most of you work outside the home? If you are/were a stay at home wife (like me) without children, what do/did you do to keep yourself busy and occupied during the day (so you don't think about not having kids?)

Any comments or suggestions would be most appreciated! Thanks!

Oh Honey, Go to daily Mass. Do an hour of adoration. Plant a flower garden. Mow the lawn. Make a quilt. Paint the walls, clean out the closets. Help the neighbors. Volenteer to help out at the local school. Get envolved with the parish. Teach CCD. Purchase as cheap shelf and turn it into a prayer corner at home. Take walks and pray the rosary. Go visit a nursing home. Weed a flower bed at your parish or in the park. Go out for coffee and read a good book. (I am reading 7 Secrets of the Eucharist.) Scoop walks for a neighbor that can't do it themselves. Help a Mom with her kids while she is shopping. See how many people you can do a kind dead for in one day. Try and beat your record the next day. Shop. Go to Good Will and see how many holy pictures you can save. Decorate a wall in your house with cheep frames from Dollar Store. Spray paint the frames to match.

Just a few off the top of my head.

[Chovy]

Convert- maybe you could see if there are any moms at your parish who could use some help. I don't mean anything really time consuming or expensive, but just calling them to see if they'd like 2 hours off each week where you could watch the kids and they could get their grocery shopping done or schedule doctors appointments or something would help get you in the "mom" routine without spending a lot of time. Plus, you would be performing a much appreciated service!

[Convert in 99]

Chovy....Dkoinzan...thank you SO much for your sweet replies. I am SO sorry it's taken me this long to reply.

They are wonderful ideas. I am just really down with this infertility thing right now. The sight of kids and families just makes me start to cry. I usually have to run to a bathroom or something and just sit in the stall for five minutes to regain composure.

I just don't understand why I have to have periods that last about 1.5-2 weeks total. I PMS for about 5-7 days with semi-painful cramps and bad mood swings. Then another 5-7 days of an actual VERY painful period. Then...I have the sad realization I am not pregnant...and the even sadder realization once I stop bleeding that I have just two weeks more until the whole sorry process starts over again.

I HATE having a period. My period has become the source of my greatest and most painful agonies. And not just physically anymore, but emotionally. As I know there is no way in heck any baby could possibly survive one. So I know for CERTAIN I am not pregnant. Again and again and again.

I am SOOOO depressed right now and I just feel worthless beyond belief. I don't want to keep going anymore, but I do because I know that we aren't supposed to think that way as Christians. Sometimes that's the only thing that keeps me going.

Today at mass I actually had thoughts that I shouldn't be engaging in the marital embrace with my husband anymore. Its not pleasing to God, it doesn't bear children, etc, etc, etc.

I just don't know how long I can take it. We won't be able to even begin the process for adopting for at least 5 years, maybe 10 or 15 or more. I just am so hopeless with this fertility thing. I feel its a sign that I shouldn't have been married or that God isn't happy with who I married or God isn't happy with me or is mad at me.

I am sorry this is so scattered. It just helps to get it out. I just could use encouraging words that have helped you all through the rough times. I am sorry to be so depressing on a thread meant for support and uplifting.

[LittleDeb]

Originally Posted by Convert in 99

I just don't understand why I have to have periods that last about 1.5-2 weeks total. I PMS for about 5-7 days with semi-painful cramps and bad mood swings. Then another 5-7 days of an actual VERY painful period. Then...I have the sad realization I am not pregnant...and the even sadder realization once I stop bleeding that I have just two weeks more until the whole sorry process starts over again.

I HATE having a period. My period has become the source of my greatest and most painful agonies. And not just physically anymore, but emotionally. As I know there is no way in heck any baby could possibly survive one. So I know for CERTAIN I am not pregnant. Again and again and again.

I am SOOOO depressed right now and I just feel worthless beyond belief. I don't want to keep going anymore, but I do because I know that we aren't supposed to think that way as Christians. Sometimes that's the only thing that keeps me going.

Today at mass I actually had thoughts that I shouldn't be engaging in the marital embrace with my husband anymore. Its not pleasing to God, it doesn't bear children, etc, etc, etc.

I just don't know how long I can take it. We won't be able to even begin the process for adopting for at least 5 years, maybe 10 or 15 or more. I just am so hopeless with this fertility thing. I feel its a sign that I shouldn't have been married or that God isn't happy with who I married or God isn't happy with me or is mad at me.

I am sorry this is so scattered. It just helps to get it out. I just could use encouraging words that have helped you all through the rough times. I am sorry to be so depressing on a thread meant for support and uplifting.

I have prayed on this for a few hours and want to now respond. Please, please reconsider and learn how to chart. I know you want to let the children come as they will. I support that. I really really do. But these symptoms you are reporting are just not right. Your body is in a state of ill health. PMS is not something we as women are just supposed to "deal with." It is something that is NOT NORMAL. It is very hard to be at ease with this struggle because unnatural infertility is your body in a state of dis-ease.

The book, Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition, by Marilyn Shannon was a Godsend for me and my infertility struggle. For your case, she addresses fixing PMS with major dietary changes. Your chart is what helps clarify what is wrong with the rest of you. I promise you that understanding our fertility is not against God's plan for anyone! He wrote the signs of fertility on our very bodies. You change nothing by charting. All you are doing is observing what is already there.

If you are really concerned that charting is interfering with God's plan for you then don't chart for conception. Chart only for health. If you get these things fixed in your body then stop charting altogether. Charting is also very helpful in estimating accurate due dates, but your doctor will do that with ultrasound anyway.

Understanding our fertility does not change our acceptance of God's will for us. The Church cautions against deliberate abstinence for the prevention of pregnancy. That is only to be done for serious reason. People have been using deliberate (total) abstinence since the dawn of man when we realized that sex makes babies. Understanding how sex makes babies does not change anything except give us a deeper respect for this amazing gift we have in cooperating with God in the creation of new life.

You're still in my prayers.

[dkoinzan]

I was once where you are wanting a child so much it hurts. If you look at my journals when I was first married, I prayed daily for a child. Oh how hard it is. I ended up going for some fertility care and I had three children who are living. Secular doctors said that I would never have any. The symptoms you describe are very similar to the ones I had then. I also would cry each time I had my period. Your body gives you a fever to tell you of infection. Your body coughes to tell you of cold. When you body is health, it acts appropriately. When you body is not, it gives you messages to tell you to seek help. Infertility is a sign that your body is not working normally. I wanted to concieve a child, but I also wanted to take care of the body my father gave me. I decided that I would persue health and if God gave me a child, then that was God's wish for me. Fertility issues can lead to or be a sign of other health issues that are more serious. I knew I had to do what I could to make myself healthy so that if God chose to make me pregnant, I could take care and carry that child.

The health issues I have now are not the same as I had earlier, yet once again, I persue health and if God blesses my family with another child I will be blessed. If he doesn't or if I should have another child die in my womb, I know that I have done all I can and can feel confident that God's will be done. His plan for my life includes sorrow and suffering just as his son's and I am pleased to serve my Lord.

Convert99 persue health. I will be praying. Forgive my poor grammer. I don't have time to proofread.

[Convert in 99]

Originally Posted by LittleDeb

I have prayed on this for a few hours and want to now respond. Please, please reconsider and learn how to chart. I know you want to let the children come as they will. I support that. I really really do. But these symptoms you are reporting are just not right. Your body is in a state of ill health. PMS is not something we as women are just supposed to "deal with." It is something that is NOT NORMAL. It is very hard to be at ease with this struggle because unnatural infertility is your body in a state of dis-ease.

The book, Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition, by Marilyn Shannon was a Godsend for me and my infertility struggle. For your case, she addresses fixing PMS with major dietary changes. Your chart is what helps clarify what is wrong with the rest of you. I promise you that understanding our fertility is not against God's plan for anyone! He wrote the signs of fertility on our very bodies. You change nothing by charting. All you are doing is observing what is already there.

If you are really concerned that charting is interfering with God's plan for you then don't chart for conception. Chart only for health. If you get these things fixed in your body then stop charting altogether. Charting is also very helpful in estimating accurate due dates, but your doctor will do that with ultrasound anyway.

Understanding our fertility does not change our acceptance of God's will for us. The Church cautions against deliberate abstinence for the prevention of pregnancy. That is only to be done for serious reason. People have been using deliberate (total) abstinence since the dawn of man when we realized that sex makes babies. Understanding how sex makes babies does not change anything except give us a deeper respect for this amazing gift we have in cooperating with God in the creation of new life.

You're still in my prayers.

Awww...you're so very kind. I am not against natural methods for improving my health. I wish it were really that easy. But, I have already been to lots of doctors. And they said that my body makes way to many prostaglandins. The first doctors I went to were just like "birth control, birth control, birth control." They didn't even look at the problem. The last doctor I went to really examined me thoroughly. Did all sorts of diagnostic tests, ultrasounds, blood work, everything. The only thing that was found was a few non-harmful cysts that dissolve over time. Also that I have dysmenorrhea, which, like previously mentioned is an overproduction of prostaglandins.

The first method of treatment is of course birth control pills. The second method of treatment is taking large doses of aspirin or advil, 3-4 times daily. There isn't anything else, save hormone replacements.

So...basically my body most likely is naturally miscarring any baby that's in there every month I conceive. Prostaglandins are what is used for abortions. My body is a natural abortafacent.

[Convert in 99]

We don't have much money for tests. This is the same pain/symptoms I've had since 11. I am now 25. Nothing's changed. There's nothing more they can do healthwise, save take the whole thing out. I don't want that. It's better to just endure the pain than try to get birth control forced down my throat again.

There's no other option for my health condition. This is just me. If charting would take away the pain of my monthly period I would do it in a heart beat. But, what can it do that the doctors haven't found through testing? I just think I am beyond charting now. That's good for when you are starting to figure a problem out, but I moved beyond that by seeing tons of doctors. Does that make sense?

We can't afford PPVI center, so please don't mention that. The best I can do is go and get an ultrasound right before one of my periods to see if I am miscarrying frequently. But, I'd rather not know I miscarried than suffer that emotional pain that might put me in a psych ward. You know?

[Convert in 99]

Originally Posted by dkoinzan

I was once where you are wanting a child so much it hurts. If you look at my journals when I was first married, I prayed daily for a child. Oh how hard it is. I ended up going for some fertility care and I had three children who are living. Secular doctors said that I would never have any. The symptoms you describe are very similar to the ones I had then. I also would cry each time I had my period. Your body gives you a fever to tell you of infection. Your body coughes to tell you of cold. When you body is health, it acts appropriately. When you body is not, it gives you messages to tell you to seek help. Infertility is a sign that your body is not working normally. I wanted to concieve a child, but I also wanted to take care of the body my father gave me. I decided that I would persue health and if God gave me a child, then that was God's wish for me. Fertility issues can lead to or be a sign of other health issues that are more serious. I knew I had to do what I could to make myself healthy so that if God chose to make me pregnant, I could take care and carry that child.

The health issues I have now are not the same as I had earlier, yet once again, I persue health and if God blesses my family with another child I will be blessed. If he doesn't or if I should have another child die in my womb, I know that I have done all I can and can feel confident that God's will be done. His plan for my life includes sorrow and suffering just as his son's and I am pleased to serve my Lord.

Convert99 persue health. I will be praying. Forgive my poor grammer. I don't have time to proofread.

Thank you so much for your kind replies. I am so sorry you had to go through this. Don't worry I have seen many doctors about it. There's (thankfully) nothing serious. Thanks for the kind prayers and support.

[aurora77]

Convert, is birth control your only option or would another hormone therapy be appropriate? I don't know much about this, but other forms of hormone replacement wouldn't have contraception as a side effect, or would they? Would birth control be a permanent solution, or would there be a chance that you could stablize your periods and then go off the pill? Have you seen a gynecologist or just a regular doc about this? That makes a huge difference.