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  #1  
Old Sep 28, '06, 8:59 pm
cmacagno cmacagno is offline
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Default My husband hates his job..need help

I need some good man advice! Ladies feel free to chime in. My husband hates his job. He can't quit for another 10 months, so he's stuck. Lately it's gotten worse, and he comes home looking angry. I can tell he's trying hard to not take it out on me in any way. He's normally an upbeat guy, and has generally a positive attitude all the time. I hate to see him like this, but I feel like there isn't much I can do. He isn't Catholic, so I don't feel comfortable suggesting things that help me, like confession, getting involved at church, the Mass, etc. I know men are so different than us women, so any advice would help out a lot.
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  #2  
Old Sep 28, '06, 9:08 pm
cheese_sdc cheese_sdc is offline
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

Cook him his favorite meal (with his favorite dessert!) and say "Dear, thank you so much for staying at a ****** job in order to provide for our family. As soon as you can, start looking for a different job." Then go to bed early. *nudge nudge, wink wink*
  #3  
Old Sep 28, '06, 11:30 pm
abb abb is offline
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

This might sound stupid, but since he isn't Catholic, suggest he start going to RCIA class (It just started so he shouldn't be that far behind) to become Catholic in the future.

I don't know too much background, since you didn't give much. If he's already stated that he will never become Catholic, then this won't help much. It's worth a try and he will learn more about your faith, there is no pressure to join the Church if he doesn't want to in the end anyway.

The class should end sometime around April and as you mentioned he should still be at the same job, but he would be going to Mass and everything else you might mention he do that works for you (involving the Church).

Hope this helps, if it was a bad idea, sorry. Like I said, you didn't give too much background information reguarding his faith.

Andrew
  #4  
Old Sep 29, '06, 12:22 am
katybird katybird is offline
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

Just be gentle and kind to him and, like the first respondent said, thank him for working so hard for your family.

Do what you can to make things easier for him, and give him space to be grouchy.

Don't try to cheer him up or give him suggestions on how you think he could be happier.

Pray for him.
  #5  
Old Sep 29, '06, 5:55 am
apricot yogurt apricot yogurt is offline
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

My husband hates his job as well, but he stays because he needs to support his family. We often talk about the sacrifices that having children brings to women, perhaps this is the male equivalent.
  #6  
Old Sep 29, '06, 6:06 am
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LilyM LilyM is offline
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

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Originally Posted by apricot yogurt View Post
My husband hates his job as well, but he stays because he needs to support his family. We often talk about the sacrifices that having children brings to women, perhaps this is the male equivalent.
True - but by all means do follow the other posters' advice and let him know that you appreciate what he's doing. Tell him to let you know if there's anything you can do for him by way of helping him look for another job or anything.
  #7  
Old Sep 29, '06, 7:04 am
cmacagno cmacagno is offline
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

Thank you so much for all of your advice! I'll be sure to give him his space and let him know that whatever sacrifices he's making for our livleyhood I appreciate. I work part time and we don't have any kids yet (we've been trying for about 10 months), and we've been married a little over year. I don't think he'd be up for going to RCIA. He may do that someday, but I for now, I pray for him.

Don't try to cheer him up or give him suggestions on how you think he could be happier.

I especially liked this piece of advice, because I often try to suggest things to make him happier.

You're all so great...bless you!
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  #8  
Old Sep 29, '06, 7:07 am
Em_in_FL Em_in_FL is offline
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

Well I've been through this exact experience.
My husband hated his job for years (although things have improved now beyond belief!)...

My advice is to TALK with him about a PLAN. Having a plan... a future to look forward to... is so important. Spending every day in misery can lead to depression and serious mental strain. Tell him how appreciative you are of all his hard work, but be sympathetic and tell him you want to do everything you can to help him be happy again.
Being open to all ideas is so important... offer your assistance in helping him search for something new... offer to work part-time while he goes to search for something new... whatever...

I would do whatever it takes to get my husband out of a miserable situation... out of love for him.
Good luck and God bless...
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  #9  
Old Sep 29, '06, 12:08 pm
annb annb is offline
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

Why is he stuck in the job for another 10 months? I'd try to do what I could to support him in a new job search, work on his resume, talk about what he thinks he would like to do, etc. I think if he sees a light at the end of the tunnel it might help him.
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  #10  
Old Sep 29, '06, 12:31 pm
Saint_Michael Saint_Michael is offline
 
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

Quote:
Originally Posted by cmacagno View Post
I need some good man advice! Ladies feel free to chime in. My husband hates his job. He can't quit for another 10 months, so he's stuck. Lately it's gotten worse, and he comes home looking angry. I can tell he's trying hard to not take it out on me in any way. He's normally an upbeat guy, and has generally a positive attitude all the time. I hate to see him like this, but I feel like there isn't much I can do. He isn't Catholic, so I don't feel comfortable suggesting things that help me, like confession, getting involved at church, the Mass, etc. I know men are so different than us women, so any advice would help out a lot.
I despise my job but it pays well so I stay, the things that make me feel better are enjoying my time off with my family. Friday night my wife and I typically have a date and watch a movie after my son goes to sleep, Saturday we'll do something like the park or the zoo. She doesn't give me a hard time if I want to invite friends over and watch football and have a few beers, or watch baseball. The little things in life make it worth it. I work for a pay check and that's it, but if my family is happy I can deal with a bad job as long as I'm allowed to relax too when I'm off.
  #11  
Old Sep 29, '06, 3:03 pm
CathCentrist CathCentrist is offline
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

The last thing a wife needs to be doing when her husband is in a bad mood and hates his job is to try and convert him! Leave religion out of it if he aint religious. Now aint the time to try and get his head wrapped around that stuff. Jeesh - is that all you guys think of is conversion 24/7? Theres a time and place for that stuff and when a man is having problems at work the wife needs to enter an entirely new realm to get hm thru it - especially if you arent working and he supports you.

Make him his fav dinner - answer the door in a nightie...plan an evening out, etc. And even if he is Catholic, the last thing I would wanna her from my spouse if I am angry over my job is suggest (I) go to confession!

and of course, simply pray for him
  #12  
Old Sep 29, '06, 3:18 pm
amills amills is offline
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

I would suggest to him that he is not working for someone else but is working for himself. Many times people tend to forget that they are working for themselves and mistakenly think they are working for someone else. He needs to get as much as he can out of the job. This can be done in any job.

For example, my son took a job in which many times he was asked to clean up some rather gross bathrooms. He looked at it as a way to humble himself and as a stepping stone for when he gets older and will be able to relate to employees who he may tell to do the same job. Perhaps he will be more understanding...
  #13  
Old Sep 29, '06, 3:56 pm
TarAshly TarAshly is offline
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

Hey yall. Thought I might throw this in maybe it will help. DH and I lost our insurance agency back in May of this year. It was awful, we worked so hard for it, but secretly and never admitedly to one another, we both hated the job itself. We were broke and working 24/7/365. we lost it due to the hurricane season of last year and at first we were both scared, but it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to us! Hubby now has a job that he loves and enjoys it immensely and the financial opportunity has been so much greater that we can now move on to things we thought would take years to be ready for. and to top it off hubby loves what he does. why does he have to wait ten months? is he under contract or something? Just encourage him that bigger and better things are ahead for him and if he can legally quit, let him. good luck!
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  #14  
Old Sep 29, '06, 6:49 pm
whatevergirl whatevergirl is offline
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

Quote:
Originally Posted by cmacagno View Post
I need some good man advice! Ladies feel free to chime in. My husband hates his job. He can't quit for another 10 months, so he's stuck. Lately it's gotten worse, and he comes home looking angry. I can tell he's trying hard to not take it out on me in any way. He's normally an upbeat guy, and has generally a positive attitude all the time. I hate to see him like this, but I feel like there isn't much I can do. He isn't Catholic, so I don't feel comfortable suggesting things that help me, like confession, getting involved at church, the Mass, etc. I know men are so different than us women, so any advice would help out a lot.

Hi cmacagno...
I can relate...at times, my husband didn't like his job...but now, he does...but during those tough times, I explained to him that if we look at our work as a gift from God...to serve Him and others...really serve, and forget if we 'like' it or not...it will make the day more pleasant. He started implementing that thinking...little by little...and eventually, he liked the job! Did he like the job, do you think, or did just changing his attitude to a more Godly perspective make the difference?

I have had moments when I used to go to work...and feel...what's it all for? I should be doing something 'holy' with my life...but the truth is that our workplaces are altars for God everyday. Whether we are stay at home moms, or in the office...or whatever...we are called to be witnesses for Christ...everywhere...for everyone. When we look at our vocations as gifts from God...it truly changes not only what we think of our roles, but also how we tackle our jobs.

I hope that helps! Just help him shift his perspective.
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  #15  
Old Sep 29, '06, 7:06 pm
JCPhoenix JCPhoenix is offline
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Default Re: My husband hates his job..need help

I'm not married but I can relate to your husband. I hate my job, too, and for a long time I really struggled just to go in every day...some days are still like that.

(as an aside...Management and co-workers make ALL the difference!).

Now, as I found refuge in the sacraments and in adoration, I was able to stick it out and I'm still there, but God is there, too.

I think the best advice I've seen here is to just be there for him, help him to find a "plan", something to look forward to. You didn't say why 10 months is an issue, but that sounds like a contract thing.

I recently realized that my career options are zilch unless I want more of the same...and I don't...and so I'm returning to school for a Master's degree. It'll be a lot of work and sacrifice, but without this job I hate, I never would have come to this decision. Could this be the kind of think that might be happening in your case?

Don't bring this up with your husband, but ask God what He might be leading your husband to? Why is he struggling? What is the purpose...for there IS a purpose. You can't "save" him, but you CAN pray for him, you CAN be there for him, and you can help him to find a plan.

God bless you...let us know what happens, will you?
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