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  #1  
Old Feb 6, '07, 3:47 am
outfctrl outfctrl is offline
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Default Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

I am Catholic, she is a Southern Baptist
I started a thread a while back on some questions pertainingto my FORMER girlfriend. http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=122282

I have been dating her since around Oct 2006. Been to a few of her family functions, huge Southern Baptist Family functions. I saw on the wall a Bible quote: John 3:16 and asked her what it meant. Everyone turned around and looked at me as if I was crazy. What did I do, I said. It was like I was immediately damned or something. Like I was supposed to know that? They also started rattling off other verses. Didnt know them either.

Anyways, a few days ago, I received an email from her saying that we are too different from each other and that Jesus is offended by our relationship.
I was polite and didnt get mad. I told her that is fine and if she didnt feel right about us, I will go my separate way.

She mentioned going into a liquor store with me. (The first one she was ever in) That it was wrong.
She mentioned going to a local pub with me to talk with some friends (The first one she was ever in) That was wrong.
She mentioned I didnt go to her church with her.
She mentioned about our intimacy and not being married. That was wrong.
She mentioned about my motorcycles and the way I dressed here and there.

I feel like a devil or something. I am really a nice guy. I treat everyone with respect and act and dress appropriate around her kin too.

Someone here said it wouldnt work out, they were right.

She broke my heart. I wont chase her, though I love her. You cant make someone want you. Oh, she has said I love you to me numerous times too.
I am just confused on why religion has to get in the way of Love and relationships.
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  #2  
Old Feb 6, '07, 4:23 am
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

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I feel like a devil or something. I am really a nice guy. I treat everyone with respect and act and dress appropriate around her kin too.
Don't worry about it. You're a good Catholic boy. She's a good Baptist girl. That's all that happened.

Quote:
Someone here said it wouldnt work out, they were right.
Yep. They probably had a Baptist girlfriend one time, too.

Quote:
I am just confused on why religion has to get in the way of Love and relationships.
Because our religion is a basic part of who we are. It tells us what our values are. Different religions = different values. That's all there is to it.

You'll be a whole lot happier with a good Catholic girl - and there's lots of good Catholic girls out there who are looking for a good Catholic boy to hang out with - you're just the man they're praying for, right now.
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  #3  
Old Feb 6, '07, 4:46 am
outfctrl outfctrl is offline
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

But my Mom is Catholic and my Dad (rest his soul) was Jewish. They were married over 50 years!!!
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  #4  
Old Feb 6, '07, 8:26 am
ElizabethAnne ElizabethAnne is offline
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

Quote:
Originally Posted by outfctrl View Post
She mentioned going into a liquor store with me. (The first one she was ever in) That it was wrong.
She mentioned going to a local pub with me to talk with some friends (The first one she was ever in) That was wrong.
She mentioned I didnt go to her church with her.
She mentioned about our intimacy and not being married. That was wrong.
She mentioned about my motorcycles and the way I dressed here and there.
The only one I can say she is right about is the fact that the two of you were intimate without being married. That's not just wrong if you're Baptist.
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  #5  
Old Feb 6, '07, 9:28 am
Beowulf Beowulf is offline
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

I agree, find a nice Catholic girl you can marry and go to Mass. Raise a family in the Catholic faith and teach your children about the church.
I was engaged to a girl years ago who wanted no part of Catholicism. It didn't work out, we broke up before the wedding. Flash forward 10 years later. I met the right one for me.
Some people would say, oh, that's old fashioned to marry only in your faith. I say it may be old-fashioned, but it works for many. A mixed-faith marriage can work, I agree. But having your wife and children with you at Mass is a great feeling. Being married in the church is a beautiful thing.
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  #6  
Old Feb 6, '07, 9:35 am
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Tietjen Tietjen is offline
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

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Originally Posted by outfctrl View Post
... Anyways, a few days ago, I received an email from her saying that we are too different from each other and that Jesus is offended by our relationship.
Well, I think that the family was probably the ones who were offended and not Christ. It sounds as though that when you made it known that you were unfamiliar with John 3:16, they made up their minds about you and it was only a matter of time until they convinced their daughter to break it off.

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Originally Posted by outfctrl View Post
She mentioned going into a liquor store with me. (The first one she was ever in) That it was wrong.
Assuming both of you were 21, there's nothing wrong with doing this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by outfctrl View Post
She mentioned going to a local pub with me to talk with some friends (The first one she was ever in) That was wrong.
Again, nothing wrong with this either assuming again that if you drank you were 21 or older.

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Originally Posted by outfctrl View Post
She mentioned I didnt go to her church with her.
Nor should you have. However, she could have come to Mass with you.

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Originally Posted by outfctrl View Post
She mentioned about our intimacy and not being married. That was wrong.
If by intimacy you mean sex... she was correct. In both the S.B. Church and in the Catholic Church, sex before marriage is a sin.

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Originally Posted by outfctrl View Post
She mentioned about my motorcycles and the way I dressed here and there.
Motorcycles do not = sin. Nor is clothing sinful so long as it is respectful and appropriate in a given situation.

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Originally Posted by outfctrl View Post
I feel like a devil or something. I am really a nice guy. I treat everyone with respect and act and dress appropriate around her kin too.
You're not the devil. You were simply caught off guard when dealing with devout Southern Baptists.

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Originally Posted by outfctrl View Post
Someone here said it wouldnt work out, they were right.
I dated a Southern Baptist girl, once upon a time; and for a while, it wasn't an issue. She respected my faith and me and I respected her (and never commented on her Church unless the Catholic Church was attacked by her family). Eventually, that relationship fizzled out. Some things simply cannot be overcome.

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Originally Posted by outfctrl View Post
She broke my heart. I wont chase her, though I love her. You cant make someone want you. Oh, she has said I love you to me numerous times too.
You will recover. Give it time and pray that if it's God's will that you are to enter the sacrament of marriage that He assists you in finding the woman that He wishes you to marry.

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Originally Posted by outfctrl View Post
I am just confused on why religion has to get in the way of Love and relationships.
Okay, here is the problem. I say this with compassion and do not wish to offend you, but you really do need to ask yourself what is most important in your life. If God and His Church are the most important thing, then of course religion might "get in the way" of things. If the Church isn't the most important thing in your life, then you are compromising and aside from your relationship with God, things might go around smoothly at first. However, a marriage without God usually doesn't last, so in the end, you might find yourself still alone. The best course of action is to get right with God and His Church, ask Him to help you in this area, and when you find the woman that He has set aside for you (and you for her), and include Him in your marriage. How can you do that if the woman has radically different views of who God is? God bless.
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  #7  
Old Feb 6, '07, 11:32 am
CNCIBC9 CNCIBC9 is offline
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

You will probably get over this fairly quickly. I know it hurts now, but you will be thankful for this later because your courtship was so brief (4 months or so, right?) I'm going through a similar situation, but I had engaged the gal and had been together for almost 4 years. It's good to see now that certain religious and philosophical differences are big issues. Saves a TON of heart-ache later, let me assure you. It's been reaaally difficult for me. I advise you to pray, pray , pray. The Lord will eventually soften your heart (at least I hope so in the case for me! )


Also I gather from your post that you aren't too familiar with the scriptures. I'm not either..I can't quote anything either, however I do encourage you to read the Bible more often. It is amazing to read through it and pick up on obvious Catholic teachings (and check out John 3:16, it's probably the most famous passage in the Bible, heh). And if by "being intimate before marriage", you meant sex, it isn't just her that should see that as being wrong. I'm no saint, and I was pressured into doing some things that I regret with my ex-fiancee but I never tricked myself into believing they were right and not offensive to God. Don't fall into that trap either. If you've sinned, go to Confession, receive the Eucharist and love the fact that youre Catholic.
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  #8  
Old Feb 6, '07, 2:25 pm
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Tietjen Tietjen is offline
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

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Originally Posted by CNCIBC9 View Post
You will probably get over this fairly quickly. I know it hurts now, but you will be thankful for this later because your courtship was so brief (4 months or so, right?) I'm going through a similar situation, but I had engaged the gal and had been together for almost 4 years. It's good to see now that certain religious and philosophical differences are big issues. Saves a TON of heart-ache later, let me assure you. It's been reaaally difficult for me. I advise you to pray, pray , pray. The Lord will eventually soften your heart (at least I hope so in the case for me! )


Also I gather from your post that you aren't too familiar with the scriptures. I'm not either..I can't quote anything either, however I do encourage you to read the Bible more often. It is amazing to read through it and pick up on obvious Catholic teachings (and check out John 3:16, it's probably the most famous passage in the Bible, heh). And if by "being intimate before marriage", you meant sex, it isn't just her that should see that as being wrong. I'm no saint, and I was pressured into doing some things that I regret with my ex-fiancee but I never tricked myself into believing they were right and not offensive to God. Don't fall into that trap either. If you've sinned, go to Confession, receive the Eucharist and love the fact that youre Catholic.
Amen.
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  #9  
Old Feb 6, '07, 3:32 pm
outfctrl outfctrl is offline
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

Well, I am 55 yrs old and she is 48. So we are not spring flowers.
So the liquor store and the pub isnt an issue. Both of us consented ro intimacy. Personally, I see nothing wrong in it. I have had 5 kids in my life and she has had 2. I dont plan on having kids anymore, actually I cant, if you know what I mean.

Also, I have been wrestling with my faith for some time. I want so bad to go back to the Church, but I keep making excuses. A friend of mine, years ago, gave me a Catechism of the Catholic Church (Libreria Editrice Vaticana). Its over 2 inches thick. I have been reading it instead of the Bible.

You see, God I hate opening up like this, I have been married 3 times. My last marriage, I got married in the Catholic Church. She committed Adultry and we divorced, but I never got an annulment. So, in my eyes, the Church really doesnt want me back. I havent been to church in over 12 years, but everyday, I keep saying I will go back. My Mom even asks me if I have been to church. Confession? Come on, How long do you think I will be in the booth? Might as well pack a lunch. 42 rosaries later, I might be absolved.

I feel hopeless sometimes. So, I put it off. I have forgotten allot of the prayers I knew by heart. I used to say the rosary every day when I was young. Now?.....I am a rough and tough Biker....yea right. Thats how people look at me, but deep inside, my heart hurts. I still say a Hail Mary when an ambulance goes by. The Nuns at my Catholic School told me to do that.

Anyways, sorry for rambling, but I never talk about this to anyone. I have to keep the macho image....LOL
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  #10  
Old Feb 6, '07, 3:57 pm
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

If you are single right now, and intend to remain single, then you are just one good Confession away from the Sacraments and full union with God.

I have no idea what you did (nor do I want to know) but I will tell you that when I came into the Church at the age of 39, and confessed all my sins since the time of my Baptism (shortly after birth) I was able to complete my penance in time to receive First Holy Communion - and, hey, I was an unsupervised child of divorced parents who hit puberty in 1975 - so, yeah, I had quite a list when I went in there.

For my penance, I got one Our Father, and to read Luke 15 in my Bible.

Of course, at my second Confession less than a week later, I got a seven day penance, but that's a whole other story.
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According to Quentin Tarentino, (Kill Bill Volume 2) Clark Kent is Superman's opinion of the human race. It occurs to me that, using the same logic, Jesus of Nazareth is God's.

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  #11  
Old Feb 6, '07, 4:06 pm
Prague Prague is offline
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

God is calling you home to his loving arms. Find a priest you can talk to. Visit with him first, and see how it goes, and if you feel you can go to confession, please do it.
He will guide you and help you through your confession. I am an RCIA teacher, and a few years ago, a biker was in the class almost your age, and he also was worried about all of his baggage. This was his first confession. After he went to confession he was absolutely radiant.
Do it, and you will be so very happy to know you can rest yourself in the arms of our heavenly Father and know his love and forgiveness. God Bless You, and I will say my rosary for you tonight.
Prague
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Old Feb 6, '07, 4:53 pm
outfctrl outfctrl is offline
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prague View Post
God is calling you home to his loving arms. Find a priest you can talk to. Visit with him first, and see how it goes, and if you feel you can go to confession, please do it.
He will guide you and help you through your confession. I am an RCIA teacher, and a few years ago, a biker was in the class almost your age, and he also was worried about all of his baggage. This was his first confession. After he went to confession he was absolutely radiant.
Do it, and you will be so very happy to know you can rest yourself in the arms of our heavenly Father and know his love and forgiveness. God Bless You, and I will say my rosary for you tonight.
Prague
Why in the world would you say a rosary for me? You dont even know me. Thats allot of praying for someone you dont know. sheesh
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Old Feb 6, '07, 4:56 pm
Prague Prague is offline
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

Why shouldn't I say a rosary for you. We don't always know everyone we pray for, and every one of us can use a little prayer sent on the way for them.
The rosary is a joy for me.
God Bless you
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  #14  
Old Feb 6, '07, 4:56 pm
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

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Why in the world would you say a rosary for me? You dont even know me. Thats allot of praying for someone you dont know. sheesh
Just because we've never met you doesn't mean you're not our brother - why shouldn't she pray for you? You're one of us.

PS: I will be praying for you too, although I'm not very good at the Rosary, yet.
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According to Quentin Tarentino, (Kill Bill Volume 2) Clark Kent is Superman's opinion of the human race. It occurs to me that, using the same logic, Jesus of Nazareth is God's.

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  #15  
Old Feb 6, '07, 4:57 pm
Prague Prague is offline
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Default Re: Catholic dating a Baptist = heartbreak

Ps I really like your quote..
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