Shouldn't gossip on the forum be banned.

[deogratias]

Gossip, especially that involving the sins of a third party are, as someone else pointed out, occasions of calmuny and detraction.
In some instances I have noticed that even the parties names were used. Othere times, I see that someone is discussing the sins of their spouse, or their brother in law or their child, etc.

[Maggie]

Maybe I'm not fully aware of the context or the specific threads to which you refer, but in many instances I see people asking for advice that they wouldn't feel comfortable asking of someone who knew them personally or knew their circumstances. This seems an appropriate place to seek that guidance, and less malicious than to revert to friends or acquaintances who might pass the news on to the friend or loved one.

[Toni]

Originally Posted by deogratias

Gossip, especially that involving the sins of a third party are, as someone else pointed out, occasions of calmuny and detraction.
In some instances I have noticed that even the parties names were used. Othere times, I see that someone is discussing the sins of their spouse, or their brother in law or their child, etc.

But is it slander if you are on the family forum and you are simply posting something that may have happened as an example to help someone, if you do not use the childs name. For instance some people have more than one son.
Somebody is asking advice about alcohol or drugs and maybe someone out there has been through a situation that could help, if they use friend instead of son does it really matter?
I agree that you would not want to intentionally ever slander anyone, but aren't their instances that it could help?
I guess my point in all this babble is when you have lived through more than ones fair share of ups and downs, I feel like if I can help someone else avoid it by telling them certain circumstances of dealing with things early in a childs life it is more helpful.

[Annunciata]

Originally Posted by Maggie

Maybe I'm not fully aware of the context or the specific threads to which you refer, but in many instances I see people asking for advice that they wouldn't feel comfortable asking of someone who knew them personally or knew their circumstances. This seems an appropriate place to seek that guidance, and less malicious than to revert to friends or acquaintances who might pass the news on to the friend or loved one.

I agree. And, since we are posting anonymously, how can this be calumny or slander? Annunciata

[darcee]

Besides... since we are all writing isn't technically libel not slander?

-D

[deogratias]

And, since we are posting anonymously, how can this be calumny or slander

I'm a little confused by that. If you are protecting your anonimity but not that of someone else that does not make it not detraction.

For instance - if I posted that Deacon so and so (and used his name) from such and such a parish (and named the parish) was having and affair and wanted to know if I should report it. That would definitely be either calumny or detraction because it would be publically ruining his good name.

On the other hand, say I am anonymous by my user name but I have posted enough information in my profile to make me identifiable. Then I say that my brother in law is a drunkard and beats his wife. And my neighbor is also on the forum and knows by deduction or because I have told her that I am tweety bird.
Wouldn't I also be guilty of detraction or calumny.

Or let's say poster A tells poster B that poster C is dishonest or accuses them of being a liar.

(The difference between the two is one may be true and the other may not).

The CCC says this:

2479 Detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one's neighbor. Honor is the social witness given to human dignity, and everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity.

2507 Respect for the reputation and honor of persons forbids all detraction and calumny in word or attitude

2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:


- of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;

- of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another's faults and failings to persons who did not know them; - of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them

[imcatholic]

I agree. It is so easy to take the step from gossip (also a sin) to detraction. My examination of conscious says:

Have I lied about anyone (calumny)

Have I rash judged anyone of a serious sin?

Have I engaged in gossip (detraction) or spread scandal?

Have I lent an ear to scandal about my neighbor

This would imply that we are guilty if we listen to gossip as well as spreading it. I think it is a temptation we all have to deal with in our private lives and one that probably could be even more serious on public boards and the like.

[catholiclady]

But is it slander if you are on the family forum and you are simply posting something that may have happened as an example to help someone

I am sure that in the instance you speak of it is more well intentioned than malicious and probably one can be vague enough to protect the identity.

But I have also seen some down right gossip and mocking of people and their sins in some of the threads here - and I am sorry I can't be more specific but then I would be guilty of gossip as well

[Toni]

Originally Posted by catholiclady

I am sure that in the instance you speak of it is more well intentioned than malicious and probably one can be vague enough to protect the identity.

But I have also seen some down right gossip and mocking of people and their sins in some of the threads here - and I am sorry I can't be more specific but then I would be guilty of gossip as well

Thanks for the answer. I guess I must have missed those, I have seen items posted and may have posted with a lack of charity. But I guess I have not noticed the slander as much. I must have missed those posts somehow...

[deogratias]

. I must have missed those posts somehow...

Count your blessings

[robertaf]

I guess I have not seen the threads being mentioned here either.

I would think a gentle reminder from the moderators to refrain from identifying non-public figures in various threads, would be appropriate.

However, I came here from another Discussion group that started moving threads, banning certain topics. Then things really got out of hand and because of complaints from some groups and often, petty whining, folks were being suspended, banned or if not, in other ways, made miserable. It was no longer fun. Many of us had been there for years and had formed good friendships. First a couple of us moved here, then a large group did.

It makes me uncomfortable when folks start asking that posts and discussions get banned. I personally dislike some of the rude comments I see here. Many people are awfully quick to label others and have the idea, "my way or the highway". The Catholic Church is not owned by any certain group and is big enough to embrace us all.

We are usually products of life experience where our Spirituality is concerned. I think we need to show more tolerance and respect in our relationships with each other.

I know I am off topic and I apologize for that.

[deogratias]

Well it appears the moderators have already banned gossip of sorts - i.e. certain polls and personal information discussions.


I just feel gossip is not a very good thing for Catholics to do.

[pnewton]

detraction - without objectively valid reason, discloses another's faults and failings to persons who did not know them

Bear in mind that there is a modifier of having objectively valid reasons attached to detraction that makes it sinful. To speak the truth in the presence of an objectively valid reason is totally exceptable.

Those who maintain a decent level on anonymity and feel they need help on personal issues, may have a valid reason for asking for advice. Otherwise these forums could be come strictly an intellectual exercise and lose any practical application.

Deogratias rightly points out that gossip is a problem we all must consider anytime addressing personal issues. I have seen a few posts I thought crossed the line, but not many.

[Will Turner]

Gossip should not be the primary reason for posting and I dont think that it usually is....I dont see a problem with someone asking for advice and using first names or titles of the people involved....for instance if they use their spouses/family member's name....99% of us will have no idea who they are......or if they refer to someone in Church or at a particular place then who will actually know who they are? That is not something that is slandering someone unless they are posting first and last names or co-workers full names ....etc....I dont see a problem here......but if I am missing something please let me know or PM me with any specific problems...thank you and God bless.....
Will

[deogratias]

I can only think of two threads that really crossed the line and one of them has been removed from the board and that one seemed to be too specific regarding a priest.


The other still is on the board but the administrators have removed the names and that one someone went into great detail about her bosses sexual orientation and that of his lover and was making fun of him, not seeking any assistance.

Otherwise I guess using vague reference to families when trying to solve a problem would not be considered gossip.

The other "gossipy" threads I have seen were the type of gossip you would expect of some grade school students where I see two or more cyberfriends gossiping about someone on the boards.

Actually I think those involved in all these incidents have left the premises now.

Sometimes problems just solve themselves