Let's Laugh

[clgagnon]

I am sure that most all of us have heard some of the 'Dirty Little Johnny' jokes. This one is the funniest one I've ever heard and it is one you can tell your Pastor! - Enjoy

Little Johnny comes home from school one day and heads straight for the refrigerator. He stands on a chair and almost has the ice cream out of the freezer when his mother walks in and yells: JOHNNY, PUT THAT ICE CREAM AWAY. IT'S TOO CLOSE TO DINNER AND YOU WILL SPOIL YOUR APPETITE! GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY WITH THE OTHER KIDS!!

Little Johnny says "but Mom, there aren't any other kids outside! After a moment Mom says 'O.K. Johnny, I'll play with You. What do You want to play?

Johnny thinks for a moment and says "I want to play Mommy and Daddy.

This catches his mother off-guard but she thinks O.K., I'm the adult here, I can handle this and says "O.K. Johnny, how do we play?

Johnny says " You go upstairs, get into bed and pretend You are taking a nap". Which she does.

When Johnny figures she has had enough time to do that he goes to the closet, puts on his father's fishing hat, goes to the ashtray and puts a cigarette butt in his mouth and goes upstairs and stands in the bedroom doorway.

His mother looks up and says "What do I do now"?

Johnny responds "YOU GET YOURSELF OUT OF THAT BED, GO DOWNSTAIRS AND GET THAT KID SOME ICE CREAM !!!

[JFT]

Originally Posted by clgagnon

I am sure that most all of us have heard some of the 'Dirty Little Johnny' jokes. This one is the funniest one I've ever heard and it is one you can tell your Pastor! - Enjoy

Little Johnny comes home from school one day and heads straight for the refrigerator. He stands on a chair and almost has the ice cream out of the freezer when his mother walks in and yells: JOHNNY, PUT THAT ICE CREAM AWAY. IT'S TOO CLOSE TO DINNER AND YOU WILL SPOIL YOUR APPETITE! GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY WITH THE OTHER KIDS!!

Little Johnny says "but Mom, there aren't any other kids outside! After a moment Mom says 'O.K. Johnny, I'll play with You. What do You want to play?

Johnny thinks for a moment and says "I want to play Mommy and Daddy.

This catches his mother off-guard but she thinks O.K., I'm the adult here, I can handle this and says "O.K. Johnny, how do we play?

Johnny says " You go upstairs, get into bed and pretend You are taking a nap". Which she does.

When Johnny figures she has had enough time to do that he goes to the closet, puts on his father's fishing hat, goes to the ashtray and puts a cigarette butt in his mouth and goes upstairs and stands in the bedroom doorway.

His mother looks up and says "What do I do now"?

Johnny responds "YOU GET YOURSELF OUT OF THAT BED, GO DOWNSTAIRS AND GET THAT KID SOME ICE CREAM !!!

Careful, those "dirty little Johnny" jokes may well have happened.

One joke I heard from a priest who's now dead dealt with a priest, a rabbi and a taxicab driver who died and were standing at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter asks the priest if he'd followed the teaching of the Church, the priest said "yes", so St. Peter told him, "Good. You may go sit in row ten."
The rabbi was next. St. Peter asked if he'd followed all the precepts of Judaism, to which the rabbi answered "yes". St. Peter said, "Good. You can go sit by the priest in row ten."
After asking the taxicab driver some questions which the priest and rabbi couldn't hear, they then heard St. Peter tell the driver in a clear voice, "Excellent. You may go sit right next to God."
Well, when the priest and the rabbi finally cornered St. Peter and asked why they'd been assigned to row ten and the taxicab driver got to sit next to God, St. Peter calmly told them, "Well, it's because he scared the Hell out of more people in one week than you two did in one lifetime."

[clgagnon]

Hey JFT,
good one. I'll get some mileage out of that one tommorow. Here's one my Parish Priest told me:

It seems that a particular priest and his bishop were usually at odds. Nothing serious but rather a matter of personality conflict. One day the priest arrived at the bishops house and rang the bell. When the housekeeper answered the priest aksed to see the bishop.

The housekeeper said "I'm sorry, the bishop is dead. The startled priest exclaimed WHAT ! I spoke with him only yesterday !

The housekeeper said "the bishop suffered a massive heart attack and died in his sleep last night".

The priest said O.K. and left.

About an hour later the priest returned, rang the bell and when the housekeeper answered requested to see the bishop. The housekeeper again told the priest that the bishop had died. The priest again left only to return an hour later again wanting to see the bishop.

The housekeeper, frustrated at this point told the priest "look, I've told you twice before, THE BISHOP IS DEAD ! Don't you understand ? Why do you keep coming back" ?

The priest answered " Oh I understand perfectly, I just like hearing you say it".