Catholic FAQ


Latest Threads
newest posts



Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > Catholic Living > Family Life > Parenting
 

Welcome to Catholic Answers Forums, the largest Catholic Community on the Web.

Here you can join over 400,000 members from around the world discussing all things Catholic. Membership is open to all, Catholic and non-Catholic alike, who seek the Truth with Charity.

To gain full access, you must register for a FREE account. Registered members are able to:
  • Submit questions about the faith to experts from Catholic Answers
  • Participate in all forum discussions
  • Communicate privately with Catholics from around the world
  • Plus join a prayer group, read with the Book Club, and much more.
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free. So join our community today!

Have a question about registration or your account log-in? Just contact our Support Hotline.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search Thread Display
  #1  
Old Aug 11, '07, 4:24 pm
whatevergirl whatevergirl is offline
Forum Elder
Greeter
Prayer Warrior
 
Join Date: April 7, 2006
Posts: 23,255
Religion: Roman Catholic
Red face Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

...or seem to.

My son is playing football now...donig great by the way--making new friends, etc...and probably will start this year. I'm excited, because back in PA, the coach never played him, because it was all so political.

That being said...I don't live my life through my kids--neither does my husband. Of course, we gently push our kids to be their best...sometimes, they can be a bit sluggish to take on new things, so as parents, we nudge them a bit...but if he didn't want to play ball, we would certainly not force him.

Ok--that being said--there are parents at these practices...shouting down their kids constantly...bragging about their kids in the bleachers...knocking others kids in the bleachers...(all this during the practices) I don't say much...just listen...then, slowly, move away from them. lol Is there anything we can say to parents like this? They can be downright rude and obnoxious.

I don't like when parents compare their kids to mine or others...I have never been like this. Again, I tend to not say anything when parents are somehow trying to boast their child over mine or another's son--so I just slowly ease away down the bleachers and then find my husband and stand near him. lol I said a prayer today, that God will give me the strength to see Jesus in all I meet. (but sometimes, it's a daunting task)

Anyone else experience what I'm speaking of with your kids? I would like to make friends with some other moms here, but it's been trying thus far!!!
__________________


It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching. ~St. Francis of Assisi
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old Aug 11, '07, 4:35 pm
vluvski vluvski is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: August 29, 2005
Posts: 3,008
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

OH MY GOODNESS YES!

Our family had two "friends" and many more acquaintances who couldn't get over the fact that their children did not get the prestigious scholarship that was awarded to me and to my siblings when we graduated.

Most of the youth got over it and moved on, but the parents! The only way to cope was to limit conversation and steer clear. One tactic is to say something positive about their child, and slip away while they gloat. It is useless to talk about it logically or try to get them to understand their bias.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old Aug 11, '07, 4:50 pm
whatevergirl whatevergirl is offline
Forum Elder
Greeter
Prayer Warrior
 
Join Date: April 7, 2006
Posts: 23,255
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

Quote:
Originally Posted by vluvski View Post
OH MY GOODNESS YES!

Our family had two "friends" and many more acquaintances who couldn't get over the fact that their children did not get the prestigious scholarship that was awarded to me and to my siblings when we graduated.

Most of the youth got over it and moved on, but the parents! The only way to cope was to limit conversation and steer clear. One tactic is to say something positive about their child, and slip away while they gloat. It is useless to talk about it logically or try to get them to understand their bias.

Thank Heavens I'm not alone! My husband, who really never comments on such things...said he has noticed it with a few of the dads...and we truly are pretty easy to get along with...but I loathe bragging!!! I also don't think you need to brag, if the talent (whatever the talent is...whether academic, sports related or whatever) is apparent. Thanks for your post.

I think I will just politely smile, and walk away when I can.
__________________


It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching. ~St. Francis of Assisi
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old Aug 11, '07, 6:51 pm
SMHW's Avatar
SMHW SMHW is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Posts: 6,148
Religion: Roman Rite Catholic
Send a message via MSN to SMHW
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

Quote:
Originally Posted by whatevergirl View Post

That being said...I don't live my life through my kids--neither does my husband.

I would like to make friends with some other moms here, but it's been trying thus far!!!
I'm afraid those parents are all too typical. Instead of trophy spouses, people today are likely to have trophy children. The better the child is at the sport, the more likely, it seems, that the parents live through the child.

I'm not sure there is much you can do to get along with such parents. You just sort of need to stay out of their way when they get crazy.

I figure the best way to handle such parents is to make sure I cheer for the average or below-average kids whenever they do something well.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old Aug 12, '07, 1:55 pm
duskyjewel duskyjewel is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: March 28, 2007
Posts: 2,405
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

I don't know.....is it right to sit there and just let them bash other kids and walk away, saying nothing? I mean, the bragging and the parents shouting at their own kids....not much we can do about that I guess, but is it really acceptable to just let them badmouth innocent children and let them get away with it?

You won't make any friends this way, but I think I might have to say something like, "I don't choose to make myself part of a group that thinks it is acceptable to say terrible things about children who are trying to do their best." Only then would I walk away.

They most likely won't change their behavior, but they have been alerted that it is wrong and that at least some people won't put up with it. Of course, I have always had a problem keeping my mouth shut.......
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old Aug 12, '07, 2:37 pm
JennBob's Avatar
JennBob JennBob is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: September 15, 2005
Posts: 124
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

I truly feel bad for you because that's just not the way it is here in my city.I don't know how old your son is or if it is a public school or catholic school,but I have had boys in CYO for 6 years now and am only just now starting with my 3rd son.When one of the boys who I've known since Kindergarten does well on the field,I'm as happy as if it were my own boy.I think we are all like that here.
I could never count myself as a Christian,let alone Catholic Christian,if I degraded another child! Pray for the parents and the children too.Best of luck with this,since it's not limited to just football,but it's really a question that goes to all children's sports.
imo
__________________
Jennifer"Love One Another..." GOD
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old Aug 12, '07, 4:23 pm
SMHW's Avatar
SMHW SMHW is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Posts: 6,148
Religion: Roman Rite Catholic
Send a message via MSN to SMHW
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

Actually, I think it's a good idea to bring this up to the coaches and/or referees.

I don't know about football, but in AYSO soccer we were told that the parents should shout praise or general encouragement but booing and any kind of direction, even of the encouraging kind, to an individual player was not allowed. At first that sounded kind of strange, to think I couldn't tell my son, daughter, or a team mate to kick harder, to ran faster, or to block somebody. But it actually makes sense. Only the coaches should be giving particular instruction to a player.

The coach ought to have the authority to send parents home if they are disruptive. And directions/instructions to an individual player and booing are disruptive. Now whether the coaches care or whether the school grants them such authority is another matter... And obviously such parent rules would be much harder to enforce at a game than at a practice.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old Aug 12, '07, 8:23 pm
tamccrackine tamccrackine is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: May 21, 2004
Posts: 1,061
Religion: Catholic- very
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

I find it ironic that the parents that speak like this (the ones bragging, gloating, berating, etc) are also the ones that have forced sports programs to become equal... meaning there are no winners and losers, all games end in a tie and everyone receives a trophy. kwim?

I'm not the type to keep my mouth shut so I'd probably tell them "If you think you're that qualified to sit here and make comments such as the ones you've made, how about helping the coach or becoming a coach?"

It's rough, but those types need to be silenced because other kids/parents DO hear them and it does ruin the experience and enjoyment of the game.
__________________
suffering from an abortion? please visit www.rachelsvineyard.org
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old Aug 13, '07, 2:50 pm
whatevergirl whatevergirl is offline
Forum Elder
Greeter
Prayer Warrior
 
Join Date: April 7, 2006
Posts: 23,255
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

Quote:
Originally Posted by duskyjewel View Post
I don't know.....is it right to sit there and just let them bash other kids and walk away, saying nothing? I mean, the bragging and the parents shouting at their own kids....not much we can do about that I guess, but is it really acceptable to just let them badmouth innocent children and let them get away with it?

You won't make any friends this way, but I think I might have to say something like, "I don't choose to make myself part of a group that thinks it is acceptable to say terrible things about children who are trying to do their best." Only then would I walk away.

They most likely won't change their behavior, but they have been alerted that it is wrong and that at least some people won't put up with it. Of course, I have always had a problem keeping my mouth shut.......
Not a bad idea...I might say something to that effect next time. I might say...'well, that kid has every right to play like ours.' Or something like this...I actually have been staying away from the practices...for a variety of reasons...one of them being this. My husband is there every night--and he ignores everyone, and just focuses on our son. He said...'there will always be idiots in the world...I don't want to focus on them.' ha
__________________


It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching. ~St. Francis of Assisi
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old Aug 13, '07, 2:51 pm
whatevergirl whatevergirl is offline
Forum Elder
Greeter
Prayer Warrior
 
Join Date: April 7, 2006
Posts: 23,255
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

Quote:
Originally Posted by tamccrackine View Post
I find it ironic that the parents that speak like this (the ones bragging, gloating, berating, etc) are also the ones that have forced sports programs to become equal... meaning there are no winners and losers, all games end in a tie and everyone receives a trophy. kwim?

I'm not the type to keep my mouth shut so I'd probably tell them "If you think you're that qualified to sit here and make comments such as the ones you've made, how about helping the coach or becoming a coach?"

It's rough, but those types need to be silenced because other kids/parents DO hear them and it does ruin the experience and enjoyment of the game.
agreed
__________________


It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching. ~St. Francis of Assisi
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old Aug 13, '07, 4:44 pm
Monicad Monicad is online now
Prayer Warrior
 
Join Date: September 30, 2006
Posts: 3,147
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

Quote:
Originally Posted by whatevergirl View Post
...I actually have been staying away from the practices...for a variety of reasons...one of them being this.
Don't let these people keep you away. Your child does not need to see you avoiding practices because of these people, it will teach him to hide from people like this in his life.

My recommendation: spend time in Eucharistic Adoration (if it is available to you) even for just a short time for guidance on this issue alone. This is an excellent opportunity for you to evangelize and show these misguided people the light of Christ. Pray for them and pray for their children especially. I really think you need to say something to them but am not sure what it is. The Holy Spirit will give you the perfect words, I wish I could but cannot. I will pray for you. Hope this helps.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old Aug 13, '07, 8:30 pm
housewife housewife is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: June 19, 2007
Posts: 344
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

[quote=whatevergirl;2573001Anyone else experience what I'm speaking of with your kids? I would like to make friends with some other moms here, but it's been trying thus far!!![/QUOTE]

My 3 year old, soon to be 4, was in T-ball earlier this year. I met some parents that were not all that friendly and some that were to harsh with their own children.

At first, it irritated me, however, I learned that we are not there to make friends, just like at the workplace, that we are there to support our children. If it happens that we "click" with other parents and a friendship is born, well, so be it. I did meet a couple of parents, which I can't complaint of, however, I understand how you feel about those you can totally be obnoxious.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old Aug 14, '07, 9:03 pm
Arlene Arlene is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: May 21, 2005
Posts: 801
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

I was thinking about this thread this evening as my daughter had her first soccer practice of the season. The coach wanted to meet with the parents for a few minutes afterwards, and he layed the law down very clearly that obnoxiousness will not be tolerated. He handed out a code of conduct that we are all to sign and return before practice on Thursday.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old Aug 14, '07, 9:08 pm
SMHW's Avatar
SMHW SMHW is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: June 30, 2004
Posts: 6,148
Religion: Roman Rite Catholic
Send a message via MSN to SMHW
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arlene View Post
I was thinking about this thread this evening as my daughter had her first soccer practice of the season. The coach wanted to meet with the parents for a few minutes afterwards, and he layed the law down very clearly that obnoxiousness will not be tolerated. He handed out a code of conduct that we are all to sign and return before practice on Thursday.
Good for the coach! Hopefully the coaches and referees will follow through on that.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old Aug 16, '07, 3:43 pm
whatevergirl whatevergirl is offline
Forum Elder
Greeter
Prayer Warrior
 
Join Date: April 7, 2006
Posts: 23,255
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: Dealing with quasi-rude parents at football practice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arlene View Post
I was thinking about this thread this evening as my daughter had her first soccer practice of the season. The coach wanted to meet with the parents for a few minutes afterwards, and he layed the law down very clearly that obnoxiousness will not be tolerated. He handed out a code of conduct that we are all to sign and return before practice on Thursday.
very commendable!!
__________________


It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching. ~St. Francis of Assisi
Reply With Quote
Reply

Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > Catholic Living > Family Life > Parenting

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search Thread
Search Thread:

Advanced Search
Display

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Prayer Intentions

Most Active Groups
8458Meet and talk,talk talk
Last by: GLam8833
5146CAF Prayer Warriors Support Group
Last by: mountee
4424Devotion to the Sorrowful Mother
Last by: DesertSister62
4037OCD/Scrupulosity Group
Last by: eschator83
3863SOLITUDE
Last by: beth40n2
3738Let's empty Purgatory
Last by: RJB
3322Petitions Before the Blessed Sacrament
Last by: Amiciel
3284Poems and Reflections
Last by: PathWalker
3224Catholic Vegetarians & Vegans
Last by: 4elise
3110For seniors and shut- ins
Last by: flower lady



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 6:23 am.

Home RSS Feeds - Home - Archive - Top

Copyright © 2004-2014, Catholic Answers.