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  #61  
Old Sep 6, '07, 5:24 am
StratusRose StratusRose is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by goofyjim View Post
Besides, if my future wife wanted to perform oral sex on her even as foreplay I would have to be honest and tell her I find it offensive and wouldn't do it.
Make sure she knows this before you get married. Not many women can climax from just intercourse, and she deserves an orgasm just as much as you do.
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  #62  
Old Sep 6, '07, 5:24 am
Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by goofyjim View Post
The Church's permissiveness for this is also an opinion and not fact yet I respect them. I am wary that the Church may be leading many a heterosexual on the road to hell as well. I will stick to genital intercourse to keep my conscience on the safe side. Besides, if my future wife wanted to perform oral sex on her even as foreplay I would have to be honest and tell her I find it offensive and wouldn't do it.
That is fine, again, your opinion.

I think that this is one of the most absurd things that I have ever read:

Quote:
Originally Posted by goofyjim View Post
I am wary that the Church may be leading many a heterosexual on the road to hell as well.
Yeah that is what the Church is doing.

Again, it falls back on you to provide the burden of proof that says that oral sex as foreplay leading up to intercourse is sinful. Until you provide that there is no need to continue to post your opinion.
__________________
"The abuse of a good does not diminish the good of a good"
--Matthew Kelly


"I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?"
--Matthew West
  #63  
Old Sep 6, '07, 5:25 am
Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by StratusRose View Post
Make sure she knows this before you get married. Not many women can climax from just intercourse, and she deserves an orgasm just as much as you do.
Great point.
__________________
"The abuse of a good does not diminish the good of a good"
--Matthew Kelly


"I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?"
--Matthew West
  #64  
Old Sep 6, '07, 5:28 am
Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JenniferMoon View Post
Actually, if the woman climaxes first, the contractions of her cervix and vagina pull ejaculate through much easier, therfore making pregnancy more likely.
Also, its more loving and considerate for a man to bring his wife to orgasm before himself, because it shows her he isn't just in the game to satisfy his own physical needs.

There is nothing wrong with oral sex so long as it ends in a way that is open to life, so Mirror Mirror is correct. The burden of proof that oral sex is wrong rests on those who say its against Catholic teaching. Show us how and where, please.

Homosexuality has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand as it will never lead to life.
Thank you Jennifer, very well put.
__________________
"The abuse of a good does not diminish the good of a good"
--Matthew Kelly


"I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?"
--Matthew West
  #65  
Old Sep 6, '07, 5:29 am
Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by gab1 View Post
it is used as foreplay only .then we would have intercourse.
Then it would be acceptable.

http://forums.catholic.com/showpost....8&postcount=39
__________________
"The abuse of a good does not diminish the good of a good"
--Matthew Kelly


"I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?"
--Matthew West
  #66  
Old Sep 6, '07, 5:31 am
NoxSineStellae NoxSineStellae is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirror Mirror View Post
no sin there. You must fall back on the intent of the act. You had every intention of completing the act, however, circumstances have changed that, unforseen circumstances that is. Now if you know you have to pick the kids up at 3:00 and it takes you 10 minutes to get there, do not start foreplay at 2:45.
Intention makes sense. I think I'd stop searching for religion before I even started if God didn't take intention into account

Quote:
It is not he most important factor, it is equal to that of the egg, but conception cannot happen without the semen being released in the proper manner. It is not a discussion of who is greater or lesser in the sex act. Mind you, the female climax does not have a direct relation to conception. Again, I am not saying that the wife is not important, far from that so please do not take it that way.
I won't I don't know much about Catholicism yet, but I think I've been drawn to it more than other Christian churches because I get a sense it really honors and reveres women (I love the emphasis on Mary, and realize you all pray through her, not to her...it still is a soothing, welcoming feeling though, as I come from a background of being very interested in goddesses, mother earth, etc - Mary, and the saints, seems like a familiar and happy place to start). Mormonism also has a draw, but that's more because of their teachings on hell (specifically, the absence of one in the 'pit of eternal fire sense' - it's weird, I believe in "purgatory", but am having trouble with the concept of eternal hell).

I understand what you're saying, and will give it thought

Quote:
If you would like to start a different thread on your questions, please do so. It sounds like you have questions and are very curious about the answers. I encourage you to bring those up.
I may, thank you We recently moved and I've been quite busy (home sick right now) but you've all be very nice so far, and I really would like to learn more.
  #67  
Old Sep 6, '07, 5:34 am
Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NoxSineStellae View Post
Intention makes sense. I think I'd stop searching for religion before I even started if God didn't take intention into account



I won't I don't know much about Catholicism yet, but I think I've been drawn to it more than other Christian churches because I get a sense it really honors and reveres women (I love the emphasis on Mary, and realize you all pray through her, not to her...it still is a soothing, welcoming feeling though, as I come from a background of being very interested in goddesses, mother earth, etc - Mary, and the saints, seems like a familiar and happy place to start). Mormonism also has a draw, but that's more because of their teachings on hell (specifically, the absence of one in the 'pit of eternal fire sense' - it's weird, I believe in "purgatory", but am having trouble with the concept of eternal hell).

I understand what you're saying, and will give it thought



I may, thank you We recently moved and I've been quite busy (home sick right now) but you've all be very nice so far, and I really would like to learn more.
If you have not read it, I suggest "The Good News About Sex & Marriage" by Christopher West, a wonderful book that explains (in Q&A format) the Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II and is what opened my eyes to learn how to respect my wife and not use her as just a tool form my enjoyment.

Christopher West has a lot of great resources on this topic so check him out at www.christopherwest.com

Congrats on the move and welcome to CAF!!!
__________________
"The abuse of a good does not diminish the good of a good"
--Matthew Kelly


"I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?"
--Matthew West
  #68  
Old Sep 6, '07, 5:34 am
JenniferMoon JenniferMoon is offline
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Join Date: May 1, 2007
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by goofyjim
The Church's permissiveness for this is also an opinion and not fact yet I respect them. I am wary that the Church may be leading many a heterosexual on the road to hell as well. I will stick to genital intercourse to keep my conscience on the safe side. Besides, if my future wife wanted to perform oral sex on her even as foreplay I would have to be honest and tell her I find it offensive and wouldn't do it.
Mt 16:18
And so I say to you, you are "Rock", and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it.


Goofyjim, I would hope you would take these words to heart and see how you are indeed wrong here. Either you trust Jesus and believe the Church canot be in error or you don't, and if not then why be Catholic?
__________________
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  #69  
Old Sep 6, '07, 5:39 am
NoxSineStellae NoxSineStellae is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirror Mirror View Post
If you have not read it, I suggest "The Good News About Sex & Marriage" by Christopher West, a wonderful book that explains (in Q&A format) the Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II and is what opened my eyes to learn how to respect my wife and not use her as just a tool form my enjoyment.

Christopher West has a lot of great resources on this topic so check him out at www.christopherwest.com

Congrats on the move and welcome to CAF!!!
I have not heard of it even Writing down the title, and I will look for it. I do get a little nervous though, as I've never felt used by my husband (or he by me), I know we've done stuff the church teaches against, and I'm afraid of being told that I know religion is more than what we feel (otherwise, what's the point), but I fear being told what I feel is true in my heart is not. Does that make sense? But I don't want to be in the dark either.

I do love John Paul II as well, he's another plus on the Catholic column So I'll look for that too, I'm interested in what he had to say.

And thank you!
  #70  
Old Sep 6, '07, 5:47 am
Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NoxSineStellae View Post
I have not heard of it even Writing down the title, and I will look for it. I do get a little nervous though, as I've never felt used by my husband (or he by me), I know we've done stuff the church teaches against, and I'm afraid of being told that I know religion is more than what we feel (otherwise, what's the point), but I fear being told what I feel is true in my heart is not. Does that make sense? But I don't want to be in the dark either.

I do love John Paul II as well, he's another plus on the Catholic column So I'll look for that too, I'm interested in what he had to say.

And thank you!
I was petrified to read that book because I had the same feelings that you had about it, actually reading that what I thought was okay was not. But you know what, that clarity that it provided me has pushed aside any fears that I had about stopping what I may have been doing wrong. TGNAS&M (the book) really opened my eyes to what it means to take part in the marital embrace. A renewal of our marriage vows. It is amazing.

I think that you are open to what the teachings are and that will only benefit you as you search. Have your husband read it as well, it is an easy read.
__________________
"The abuse of a good does not diminish the good of a good"
--Matthew Kelly


"I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?"
--Matthew West
  #71  
Old Sep 6, '07, 6:01 am
MrS MrS is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Reminded of a story (joke) my late mother in law told me. She was one of 12 children (plus 4 who were miscarried)

She would jest that her mom and dad were always passionate (proof was in the kids) and that one romantic evening "gramps" said, "hey you in the bathroom, ya gonna be there all night?"

To which "gramma" replied...... "...be right there, go ahead and start without me..."


As to this thread.... gramps apparently did not "finish" without her.
  #72  
Old Sep 6, '07, 6:06 am
thechrismyster thechrismyster is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Catholics redefining Church teaching to suit their own personal taste. One of the downfalls of a public forum like this, i suppose.

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hi
  #73  
Old Sep 6, '07, 6:06 am
pig boy pig boy is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by StratusRose View Post
Make sure she knows this before you get married. Not many women can climax from just intercourse, and she deserves an orgasm just as much as you do.
I don't think you mean to say she "deserves" an orgasm. No one deserves an orgasm. That attitude can only create tension in a relationship and a sense of entitlement. Sex and the marital act should truly be a gift between two individuals and not a situation where we both get what we "deserve" out of it.

As to the rest of the topic, I understand the Church's stance on the issue, but I agree with goofyjim on the topic. I really don't see the redeeming values of either oral or anal sex as a part of foreplay. Just my opinion.
  #74  
Old Sep 6, '07, 6:12 am
JenniferMoon JenniferMoon is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Quote:
As to the rest of the topic, I understand the Church's stance on the issue, but I agree with goofyjim on the topic. I really don't see the redeeming values of either oral or anal sex as a part of foreplay. Just my opinion.
That's fine. Nobody should be doing anything they aren't comfortable with. I do hope you will (or already have) explained those preferences with the Mrs. in your life and that she too shares the sentiment.

Why anal sex should even be a part of the discussion... AGAIN, I have no clue. Why are homosexual acts being brought up in a discussion about the heterosexual marriage bed?
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  #75  
Old Sep 6, '07, 6:17 am
NoxSineStellae NoxSineStellae is offline
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Default Re: oral sex with my wife ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by pig boy View Post
I don't think you mean to say she "deserves" an orgasm. No one deserves an orgasm. That attitude can only create tension in a relationship and a sense of entitlement. Sex and the marital act should truly be a gift between two individuals and not a situation where we both get what we "deserve" out of it.

I think (correct me if I'm wrong) that the key part of her statement was "as much as you do". In that the man is not entitled to an orgasm either, but since it almost always occurs with ejaculation, and ejaculation is required by the church, the man missing out on a climax isn't really an issue. If the wife doesn't deserve it, neither does the husband. But since his is required to happen, every thing possible should be done to try to get her to the same place. If sex isn't reciprocal, it is using the other person's body just to please your own, and as I understand it, the church teaches against that

It's kind of easy to say they're not necessary or deserved when there's zero chance that you're going to be denied one while making love.
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