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  #1  
Old Oct 18, '07, 4:07 pm
hhmota hhmota is offline
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Red face Sex Education in public schools

Hello everyone and God Bless. This is my first time ever interacting this way. But I find it is a blessing to be able to communicate with others that are living the faith.

I have a 10 yr old girl in public school. I received a permission slip regarding Sex Ed stating that the school nurse would conduct an information class. My daughter keeps asking when am I going to sign. I told my daughter I was thinking of pulling her out of this class. She is asking why. She seems to feel left out. Now I am not sure how to go about.

I thought I had made up my mind about keeping her out. Now I am not sure. What information should I share with her and how?

Any suggestions on resources or links where I can find information about what and how to give this information to my daughter will be greatly appreciated.
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  #2  
Old Oct 18, '07, 4:29 pm
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JennBob JennBob is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

My kids go to catholic schools,but they were given a talk about what to expect as they approach puberty (this was for 6th graders). The boys and girls were given separate talks independently of each other. The parents were invited to attend a meeting that discussed what would be said to the kids.

Call the school's office and see if they have something like a parent's meeting or at least a handout as to what will be discussed.

I think it is harder for public school parents since the "authorities" are actually recommending birth control for 11 y.o. in some public school districts.At least I am positive that was not included in the talk given to my daughter.Don't be afraid to stand up for what you know is right for your child!
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  #3  
Old Oct 18, '07, 5:11 pm
Sr Sally Sr Sally is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

Please don't send her. My dc are opted out of this class. They are sent to the library to do research on nutrition, or some other health issue. She will find that other kids are opted out also.

For regular 'growing up' issues, I really liked the American Girls book, The Care & Keeping of You - The Body Book for Girls. It covers periods, body changes, etc but doesn't talk about sex at all.

For sex ed, we have just had continual conversations. I did have a protestant series called God's Design for Sex, but I found them a bit heavy handed. At 10, she should know 'where babies come from', but probably you don't have to have a huge sit-down over STDs and all the other stuff they cover in the public school class.


Quote:
Originally Posted by hhmota View Post
Hello everyone and God Bless. This is my first time ever interacting this way. But I find it is a blessing to be able to communicate with others that are living the faith.

I have a 10 yr old girl in public school. I received a permission slip regarding Sex Ed stating that the school nurse would conduct an information class. My daughter keeps asking when am I going to sign. I told my daughter I was thinking of pulling her out of this class. She is asking why. She seems to feel left out. Now I am not sure how to go about.

I thought I had made up my mind about keeping her out. Now I am not sure. What information should I share with her and how?

Any suggestions on resources or links where I can find information about what and how to give this information to my daughter will be greatly appreciated.
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  #4  
Old Oct 18, '07, 5:18 pm
Catholig Catholig is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

Quote:
Originally Posted by hhmota View Post
Hello everyone and God Bless. This is my first time ever interacting this way. But I find it is a blessing to be able to communicate with others that are living the faith.

I have a 10 yr old girl in public school. I received a permission slip regarding Sex Ed stating that the school nurse would conduct an information class. My daughter keeps asking when am I going to sign. I told my daughter I was thinking of pulling her out of this class. She is asking why. She seems to feel left out. Now I am not sure how to go about.

I thought I had made up my mind about keeping her out. Now I am not sure. What information should I share with her and how?

Any suggestions on resources or links where I can find information about what and how to give this information to my daughter will be greatly appreciated.
hhmota,

If I were in your shoes I would go to the school and request to see the "curriculum"/"lesson plan" for this Sex Education class, and encourage any friends who have children in the same grade to do likewise. I would see exactly what they are teaching your 10 year old daughter - is it regarding contraception? Is it regarding sexual intercourse? How is it presented. If it is something that you wouldn't want your daughter to learn I would then 1) remove your daughter from the class and 2) challenge the school regarding their lesson plan. Why it includes birth control - but teaches nothing about Natural Family Planning. Why they are using government funding to subvert your parental authority, and your morality. I would also get any catholic friends to do this as well.

Catholig
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  #5  
Old Oct 18, '07, 5:41 pm
whatevergirl whatevergirl is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

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Originally Posted by Catholig View Post
hhmota,

If I were in your shoes I would go to the school and request to see the "curriculum"/"lesson plan" for this Sex Education class, and encourage any friends who have children in the same grade to do likewise. I would see exactly what they are teaching your 10 year old daughter - is it regarding contraception? Is it regarding sexual intercourse? How is it presented. If it is something that you wouldn't want your daughter to learn I would then 1) remove your daughter from the class and 2) challenge the school regarding their lesson plan. Why it includes birth control - but teaches nothing about Natural Family Planning. Why they are using government funding to subvert your parental authority, and your morality. I would also get any catholic friends to do this as well.

Catholig
excellent advice! I called the school when my daughter and son, were in fifth grade, and this all just started for them. The nurse gave me the agenda of the class(es) and I decided to keep her in...I will also do the same for my son, as he is in high school now, and I don't want random chats about condoms being discussed. My husband and I are quite open with our kids...they feel very free to discuss truly anything. They ask a lot of questions...kids should learn about sexuality...and the morality of it...from their parents. The school basically teaches preventative measures...but I know they also teach abstinence...but...here's a condom in case you can't refrain. (which I don't like)
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  #6  
Old Oct 18, '07, 7:26 pm
HouseArrest HouseArrest is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

I am reading "The Joyful Mysteries of Life" to my kids who are 11 and 10. It sounds a little "babyish"... but I like it. The first few chapters talk about periods and how a girl's body is made to cradle a baby. You could easily stop there, or continue onto the chapters that discuss the role of the father. It does not discuss daily hygiene or anything like that - I sort of wing it on that one. The only thing I think may baffle the kids is the chapter that deals with impurity in boys - I think I'm going to have to spell it out as it's pretty vague.

P.S. my kids go to Catholic school. Ditto on the advice above to ask to see the lesson.

Last edited by HouseArrest; Oct 18, '07 at 7:28 pm. Reason: forgot something
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  #7  
Old Oct 18, '07, 8:31 pm
JimG JimG is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

Hope you don't live in Maine, where middle school kids can obtain birth control pills and condoms at student health centers without parental knowledge. (Parents must agree that their children can use the health centers, but the health centers do not have to tell parents the kids are receiving contraceptives.)
Source
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  #8  
Old Oct 19, '07, 7:13 am
ChristineML ChristineML is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

I would certainly keep your daughter out of a public school sex ed class. If they will cover birth control, sexual intercourse, and homosexuality or cohabitation as alternative lifestyles then you certainly want the chance to impart your values to your child on these topics. If the class is about parts of the body and changes to expect as she reaches puberty, that may be all right IF the boys are separated from the girls for modesty purposes. But you should still give your daughter the message that you welcome her coming to YOU with questions so you can discuss things together.

Read Wendy Shalit's book A Return to Modesty to see why she was heartily glad that her parents (secular Jews?) kept her out of public school sex ed class. The girls and boys were together in one class (ouch!), and they were given WAY too much information for their ages, 4th/5th grade. Does a 9- or 10-year-old really need to know what "69" is? Really? Also, the boys used the information to tease (sexually harass) the girls in the hallways: "Hey, (girl's name), do you MASTURBATE?" The other girls were mortified, but the boys left Wendy alone, "Oh, yeah, she wasn't in that class." She could pretend ignorance if she wanted to.

hhmota asked what information we should share with our children and how: I would suggest that "sex ed" begins in babyhood / toddlerhood when we correctly identify by name and speak comfortably and respectfully about one's private parts. Sorry if this is too much information, but since I never get as much privacy as I'd like in the bathroom (sigh), my kids are aware of armpit/ leg/ pubic hair, menstruation and sanitary napkins. When I am expecting and nursing a baby, they see that Mommy grows babies in her tummy and has milk in her breasts. At some point, a child will ask how the babies started growing in Mommy's tummy, and I can give age-appropriate information about Mommy and Daddy "snuggling naked" which is only for married couples, ready for the big job of bearing and raising children. (I mention "naked" so they don't think our snuggling in bed with them in nightclothes will make them pregnant. Ha!) As my daughter approaches puberty I can tell her what changes to her body to expect and give her a context of "it's a part of God's plan of growing up into a woman so she could have her own family someday."

One point to consider is NOT giving TOO MUCH information, because I want my kids to keep their childlike innocence (within reason for safety's sake) and because they may be scared if they're not ready to hear something yet. Whatever I tell them is TRUE, but NOT necessarily the WHOLE STORY, e.g. the mechanics of sexual intercourse or the hard work of labor and delivery. In general, I wait until they ask for more details, and then they're probably ready. But I discuss it with only one child at a time and ask them not to share it with the younger ones, when they may not be ready to hear it. Corrie ten Boom of The Hiding Place fame in Nazi-occupied Holland asked her father about "sex sin" she had read in some book or poem, and he compared too much knowledge to asking a child to carry a suitcase that was too heavy for her. "Allow me to carry this burden for you a while longer until you are older, stronger, and ready to know this." Consider, though, that girls are having first menstruation at younger and younger ages (even 9 and 10) and need to be prepared for that. My theory is that puberty starts happening when our daughters reach around 100 pounds of body weight.

Because we donate to crisis pregnancy centers and pray for an end to abortion, my kids are aware at a relatively young age that sex outside of marriage is SERIOUS business and has SERIOUS consequences. Being active in NFP circles, they will hear from me at some point that there is such a thing as artificial birth control and how it (Onanism and pharmakeia in scripture) is displeasing to God. As in all things, people have a choice to disobey God and suffer the consequences or to know, love, and serve God, follow His rules that keep us safe, and reap the rewards.

Maybe check out The New Corinthians Curriculum from The Foundation for the Family? A K-8 curriculum, it emphasizes chastity as one Christian virtue among others, and it offers parents a one-on-one instruction booklet about human sexuality, suggested for the beginning of sixth grade.

God bless you, hhmota, in this adventure you are embarking on with your daughter.
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  #9  
Old Oct 19, '07, 7:52 am
kage_ar kage_ar is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

Should you keep your daughter out, do get a copy of the what will be taught, and cover it in YOUR way with your child. Kids being kids, the kids who were in the class will be eager to inform the kids who were "opted out" about all the details. You want this information to come from you, not from another child.
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  #10  
Old Oct 19, '07, 9:46 am
1ke 1ke is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

I'd also keep in mind that even if you see the 'lesson plan' what is on paper is not necessarily what the teacher might SAY in the class. I'd opt her out, but I would definitely get a copy of all materials.

You can contact STOPP, a division of American Life League, on how to get this type of curriculum OUT of your school completely. They have a book called Parent Power that discusses how to go about it.
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ke's universal disclaimer: In my posts, when I post about marriage, canon law, or sacraments I am talking about Latin Rite only, not the Orthodox and Eastern Rites. These are exceptions that confuse the issue and I am not talking about those.
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  #11  
Old Oct 19, '07, 10:32 am
KCT KCT is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

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Originally Posted by Catholig View Post
If I were in your shoes I would go to the school and request to see the "curriculum"/"lesson plan" for this Sex Education class, I would see exactly what they are teaching your 10 year old daughter
This is a good first step. However, as a teacher, I can tell you that side conversations come up and often times the class veers in all sorts of directions - many of them not in the curriculum.

Maybe you could look over the materials AND ask to sit in on the class. Tell them you want to be able to follow up on whatever was discussed - sitting in will make you a better parent and better able to communicate w/ your kids. See if they allow it.
---KCT
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  #12  
Old Oct 19, '07, 10:56 am
ralphinal ralphinal is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

I agree to see the lession, and i agree that sitting in is not a bad idea. Luckily, my child is too young for this to come up (first grade), but the way things are headed, I expect to have to deal with it next year. One issue, and it has been pointed out, is the amoral message that these classes may present. I am sorry, but I do not have to try herion to know it is not a good thing to do, and I do not have to have played Russian Roulette to decide if it is right for me. You can teach the science of it without the sociology.
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  #13  
Old Oct 19, '07, 11:02 am
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Corki Corki is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

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Originally Posted by KCT View Post
This is a good first step. However, as a teacher, I can tell you that side conversations come up and often times the class veers in all sorts of directions - many of them not in the curriculum.

Maybe you could look over the materials AND ask to sit in on the class. Tell them you want to be able to follow up on whatever was discussed - sitting in will make you a better parent and better able to communicate w/ your kids. See if they allow it.
---KCT
This is what I would suggest too. Also, when you ask to see the material, make sure they show you EVERYTHING. There was a problem a few years ago where a school district had a workbook that went home that was very tame but the material in the Teachers' manual and the in-class handouts was anything but.

Also, if the school is at all resistant to any of your requests or tries to make you feel like a prude for asking, this is a very bad sign. At that point, I would just take my child out of the class.

But don't worry yet. There is also a good chance that this is nothing more than the nurse making sure that all the girls have an idea of what is happening before they get their first period.

If you do decide to take her out, get some of the good, moral and Catholic material and present at least some of it to her before the school has their class. She can actually be ahead of the curve then instead of feeling left behind.
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  #14  
Old Oct 20, '07, 9:00 am
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lifeisbeautiful lifeisbeautiful is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

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Originally Posted by 1ke View Post
I'd also keep in mind that even if you see the 'lesson plan' what is on paper is not necessarily what the teacher might SAY in the class. I'd opt her out, but I would definitely get a copy of all materials.

You can contact STOPP, a division of American Life League, on how to get this type of curriculum OUT of your school completely. They have a book called Parent Power that discusses how to go about it.
I really agree with this advise. First of all, there is a wonderful document on sexual education from the vatican and it specifies that the biological aspects of sex should not be taught independently from the moral/supernatural aspects. There is no way this can be avoided in a public school setting. Second of all, the information given will be given from the point of view of the person (nurse, etc) giving the talk. Unless you know that the person is 100% in line with the Church, odds are something will slip that you may never find out about, but can certainly affect your child. In fact it may be very possible that the person has every intention of teaching the children things that are not in line with the Church, not to go against the Church, but simply because it is what they believe is correct/best. I was in an all girls Catholic school and my mother opted out and I was upset at first too, but I was over it soon and life kept on. Even teachers in Catholic schools can say the wrong things. It is best for kids to learn from their parents, at their own pace, taking into account their maturity etc.

I like 1ke's advice of getting the curriculum too just so you know what your child's peers may be listening to and possibly discussing.
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  #15  
Old Oct 20, '07, 9:20 am
Linnyo Linnyo is offline
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Default Re: Sex Education in public schools

I withdrew my daughter from sex ed in school. I taught her up to the same level in my way whilst imparting the values that a Christian should live their life by. I explained to her that I could not allow the school to teach her in a way that would undermine the values that she was being taught at home. We discussed some of the things that they were teaching in school and why God would not want that for us. We discussed that teaching 11 year old children how to put on condoms sent out the message that sex is ok as long as you don't get caught. We talked about when sex is ok and why it is best to wait until marraige. She still learned all the same things because, as a previous poster said, the other kids were desperate to share their knowledge. However, what I did do was make a very strong case for sex within marriage. She respected that I have her best interests at heart and that I love and care for her enough to take the time to teach what I believe to be right. She recognises that some of the school curriculum legitimises things that are not right.

One thing I will say is that only 2 children in her year were withdrawn from sex ed and the teacher did make comments and did ridicule our decision in front of her and the other children. But we know that our decision was the right one and if we had to do it again, we would. I have moved my girls to catholic schools now so I expect the teaching will be in line with that of the church.
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