Lack of community for young Catholics

Amy_JJ · #1 Oct 21, '07, 1:24 am

Hello,
I don't post often, and I'm not sure if this is the right forum, but this is not a topic I've seen addressed on the forums. I'm a single 24-year-old student with a part-time job, and I've found myself very frustrated with the lack of Catholic ministries aimed at my age group. I've spent the last few years moving between different local cities and my parents' home, and I've tried many parishes throughout the cities I've lived in. Almost all ministries offered by every parish are aimed at couples, divorced singles, junior and senior high youth, occasionally college students, the elderly and/or widowed, and parents of young children. I already am beginning to feel that panic as I'm still single with no immediate prospects while many of my friends are beginning to get married and have children, and the Church, which encourages me to follow suit, does nothing to facilitate meeting other Catholics at my stage of life. There is a ministry called "Spirituality on Tap" in my area, which is I believe an off-shoot of Theology on Tap that started in Chicago. It's a bit touchy-feely for me and I've gone several times, but I don't get much out of it and I haven't connected with anyone. But that really seems to be the only ministry that caters to "young adults" (which they define as anywhere from 18 to 39!) and it serves an entire city! I've never seen more than a dozen people show up. Why do Catholic parishes provide ministry support from birth through college, and then from marriage through death? There are SO MANY of us that are in between college and marriage who want and need community with other Catholics our age at our stage of life. Does anyone have any suggestions for seeking out other Catholics or know of any widespread ministries that have presence in local cities that I'm not aware of? I'm just getting more and more irritated when I go to Mass by myself and look around to see nothing but old people and young families. Any thoughts? Thank you.

Pious Mat · #2 Oct 21, '07, 8:52 am

The only advice I can give is find a spiritual director, and try to cultivate a personal relationship with him. I too basically fall into this category (young, single, student), and my rather liberal parish is populated almost entirely by older people who, liturgically, still think it's 1970. Young people who are trying to learn the Truth about the Catholic Church basically have no where to turn. Because my Diocese is quite small, I was able to cultivate a relationship with most of our priests, but the one I trust the most is a retired priest who was ordained before Vatican II, and although he celebrated the New Mass for over 30 years and is too infirm to celebrate the Tridentine anymore (for those of you who don't realize it, saying the TLM requires a lot of energy) he is very mindful of tradition, and says mass very reverently. Long story short, find a priest who you trust, and go to him for spiritual guidance.

JohnPaulTwoToo · #3 Oct 21, '07, 7:46 pm

I just got a big thankyou today from a young lady about your age who I steered toward this apostolate: Militia Immaculata Youth & Young Adults

It's also very strong on spiritual direction.

Vittorio23 · #4 Oct 21, '07, 7:51 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnPaulTwoToo

I just got a big thankyou today from a young lady about your age who I steered toward this apostolate: Militia Immaculata Youth & Young Adults

It's also very strong on spiritual direction.

I strongly second this suggestion. I am a part of Militia Immaculata and it is a GREAT group.

stbruno · #5 Oct 23, '07, 7:54 am

http://yamchicago.org/ I have provided the link for young adult ministry in our diocese, Perhaps your diocese has one as well that you are unaware of.

ack · #6 Oct 23, '07, 1:16 pm

Hi Amy,

There are more young adult ministries out there than you think. In my experience, most young adult ministries are connected with a particular parish. If you're not a member of that parish, you won't find out about the parish's young adult ministry, and it's easy to mistakenly come to the conclusion that your city has nothing for young adults.

I've lived in several cities over the past few years, and I've had a chance to see what's "out there". Some areas have better young adult ministry than others, but there was always something.

One issue is that most young adult ministries that I've seen are not advertised -- nothing in the bulletin or the website. This is because the bulletins and websites are usually developed by the older adults in the parish, and the young adult ministry is often "invisible" to them. (It seems like in our parents generation, everyone got married right away, so they don't realize why young adult ministry is so important nowadays...)

The experience of looking around a church and seeing nobody but families and older people is certainly painful. I've been there. The problem was that the neighborhood I lived in didn't have many young singles, period. Most likely, different neighborhoods in your city have different demographics. You'll have more luck if you go to Mass in a neighborhood known for attracting young people. Also, downtown parishes, parishes with more ethnic diversity, parishes with adoration chapels, and parishes with traditional liturgies (especially the ones with a Latin Mass ) attract more young adults than the family-oriented suburban parishes do.

As a last resort, if there's a university nearby, you could see if any of their events are open to other young adults. This will only work at some universities, because it depends on how welcoming or clique-ish the group is.

I can give you more advice if you tell me where you live...

debraran · #7 Oct 23, '07, 4:02 pm

I know my son who is in college feels the same way. All the young adult groups at our devout church are really for young married couples, late 20's to 30's. Even the Theology on Tap series they have for young adults brings in more older married or career men and women and middle-aged couples.

Some of the groups churches have are not well attended and although my son is a good moral young man, he doesn't want to be with a group that is over zealous although he only found that once. ( they were ultra-orthodox)
I will look into those groups mentioned here, although in CT I haven't found very much and neither has my son. A yale student started a blog because he was a devout Catholic and was on EWTN's Life on the Rock, but there really isn't a "group" you can attend, but it's nice to know others are out there.
Good luck to you, what area of the country are you from?

allstarhandmaid · #8 Oct 24, '07, 1:38 pm

I am in the D.C. area and my Diocese has a fairly new young adult ministry: http://www.arlingtondiocese.org/offi.../yam-home.html
I know that my best friend was really lonely when she was about 21 since all of her friends were in college. A priest encouraged her to start a young adults group in the parish and it is still going, 4 years later. She stepped back to let a group plan the activities since she got busy, but she had to step up and be proactive before she met others like her (if you build it they will come

)
Look at some young adult websites at parishes in the U.S. to get some ideas and then maybe you could approach your parish priest to get you started. Young adult groups pray together, study the bible, go to talks, go to dinner, movies, bowling, dancing, hiking and anything else fun in a group. New people are always showing up which keeps it interesting. The ministry has remained pretty friendly and hasn't turned into a single's scene, fortunately. Young couples and families are welcome to attend functions, though they are often busy. Think about starting one for your parish. It sounds like it is needed.