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  #1  
Old Jan 24, '08, 6:15 pm
tankthedog tankthedog is offline
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Default What is the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

My previous thread brought me to think of this question which I've had for a while.
Does the 4th Commandment - Honor your father and your mother, that you may have a long life in the land which the LORD, your God, is giving you (Exodus 20:12) mean that we are to obey what our parents tell us to, or does it simply mean that we are to show respect and care for them.

I've thought of this question because I often see parents using this Commandment to make their kids do their chores, but those same people will consistently ignore their own parents. I've always seen this as an extremely hypocritical way of thinking considering I've always looked at it in the former way I mentioned, but I was wondering what the Church has said about the meaning?
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  #2  
Old Jan 24, '08, 6:38 pm
CapIV CapIV is offline
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Default Re: What si the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

Well obviously you are not obliged to obey your parents if commanded to do something immoral.

I have always taken it to mean, respect and care for your parents. And obey them when possible.
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  #3  
Old Jan 25, '08, 6:36 pm
drafdog drafdog is offline
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Default Re: What si the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

The priests at the Temple in Jerusalem one day discovered that one of the fine jewels woven into the High Priest's robes had been lost. They went to a merchant in the city who dealt in such fine gems and asked if he had a gem suitable to replace the one that was missing.
He replied that he had just the thing, it was locked in his strong box. The cost of the gem would be a hundred shekels. The priests agreed to the price and the merchant went into the next room to fetch the key. He found his father sleeping with the key under his pillow.
When he returned without the key, he told the priests that he could not sell them the jewel. The priests offered him two hundred, three hundred, five hundred shekels. Each time the merchant said simply that he couldn't sell them the stone.
Finally the priests left to return to the Temple. Later the man's father awoke. He retrieved the key and opened the strong box. He ran and caught up to the priests. Now I can sell you the jewel. They offered him the five hundred shekels.
But we agreed on one hundred.
Why, then, did you not sell it to us before? You kept saying you could not sell it.
How would it honor my aged father should I wake him just to make a sale?

Matthew
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  #4  
Old Jan 26, '08, 8:17 am
Deacon Ed B Deacon Ed B is offline
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Default Re: What si the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

The CCC answers this beautifully. Read it.
Deacon Ed B
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  #5  
Old Jan 26, '08, 2:57 pm
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MarieVeronica MarieVeronica is offline
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Default Re: What si the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

Obey them when you're a child. Respect them when you're an adult. Care for them when they're elderly. Love them always.
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  #6  
Old Jan 29, '08, 7:13 am
Maynoothman Maynoothman is offline
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Default Re: What si the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

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Originally Posted by MarieVeronica View Post
Obey them when you're a child. Respect them when you're an adult. Care for them when they're elderly. Love them always.
now THATS a good answer!
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  #7  
Old Jan 30, '08, 8:21 am
justinthemartyr justinthemartyr is offline
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Default Re: What si the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a4.htm

This link will take you to the church's official teaching on the fourth commandment and loving your father and mother.

No one can say it like our Lord through His church
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  #8  
Old Feb 28, '11, 8:40 am
lwatro lwatro is offline
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Default Re: What si the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

What do you do when your mother is barely speaking to you because she feels you haven't done enough for her? My father became ill when I was only 10 years old. I went to college and married a college graduate. We were able to take care of my parents when they almost lost their home. We bought them a condo near the beach. I offered to buy my parents a family burial plot and was yelled at by mother, who told me I didn't give her enough moral support while my father was ill and they were living in their beach condo ten to 14 hours away from me, which was her choice of location. Instead she cremated my father and had no memorial service for him. I guess I didn't honor her because I didn't know what she needed. I gave her what I thought she wanted and yet I failed. It is difficult for me to take her wrath at times. I always tried to take care of my parents so that they had everything they needed. Yet at the death of my father, I found out, I never have done enough for my mother. I don't know what more I can do for her. She has every comfort, except the comfort of her children, because she has driven us away by her discontent toward us. Some of my family have given up on her. Yet my husband and I still take care of her worldy needs. We just don't communicate with her all that much anymore because we are afraid to get too close. I have been hurt by her too many times. It is hard for me to try again.
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  #9  
Old Apr 14, '11, 3:20 pm
goyasgekko goyasgekko is offline
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Default Re: What si the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

Yup, I'm also interested in an explanation to the Commandment as it refers to an abusive parent. Although I understand that caritas in this instance should be given freely, there are obvious difficulties in interpretation in a relationship where child, adult child/parent has physically, emotionally or psychologically abused the other. I'm not actually thinking of the more radical abuse cases, but rather parent/child emotional abuse which makes this commandment a big challenge for the victim.
I care for my 90 year old mother who consistently emotionally and physically abused me as a child, and into my 20's. She still tries. I could never do enough for her, to the degree that I spent the first week of my married life with my mother to pacify her feelings of neglect. She has recently been diagnosed with chronic Paranoid Personality Disorder which she has suffered all her adult life.
There are natural and human limits to the issue of respect. Did Christ "honour" or respect those who scourged Him? I don't think so, but they weren't his parents. We have a natural and a faith bound duty to love and care for our parents - but I've come across a huge amount of adult victims of parent abuse who ask for my advice and I'm usually pretty vague.
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  #10  
Old May 16, '11, 3:59 pm
apple1 apple1 is offline
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Talking Re: What si the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tankthedog View Post
My previous thread brought me to think of this question which I've had for a while.
Does the 4th Commandment - Honor your father and your mother, that you may have a long life in the land which the LORD, your God, is giving you (Exodus 20:12) mean that we are to obey what our parents tell us to, or does it simply mean that we are to show respect and care for them.

I've thought of this question because I often see parents using this Commandment to make their kids do their chores, but those same people will consistently ignore their own parents. I've always seen this as an extremely hypocritical way of thinking considering I've always looked at it in the former way I mentioned, but I was wondering what the Church has said about the meaning?
The fourth commandment is keep holy the sabbath day, six days may you labor and rest on the seventh day. The Fifth commandment is Honor your mother and father that thy days may be long upon the land which the lord thy God giveth thee.
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  #11  
Old May 18, '11, 4:16 pm
adrift adrift is offline
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Default Re: What si the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

Quote:
Originally Posted by apple1 View Post
The fourth commandment is keep holy the sabbath day, six days may you labor and rest on the seventh day. The Fifth commandment is Honor your mother and father that thy days may be long upon the land which the lord thy God giveth thee.
Please show me where in the Bible they are numbered?
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  #12  
Old May 18, '11, 8:02 pm
TimothyH TimothyH is offline
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Default Re: What si the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

Quote:
Originally Posted by apple1 View Post
The fourth commandment is keep holy the sabbath day, six days may you labor and rest on the seventh day. The Fifth commandment is Honor your mother and father that thy days may be long upon the land which the lord thy God giveth thee.
Catholics combine "No other God's before me" and the prohibtion against idolatry into one commandment and therefor count the commandment about honoring your mother and father as number four.


Quote:
Originally Posted by adrift View Post
Please show me where in the Bible they are numbered?
The Holy Catholic Church was established by Jesus Christ and has been granted singluar authority to interpret scripture and teach on matters of faith and morals based on that interpretation. As God's instrument of salvation in the world, the Church has done just that when it interpreted Leviticus 20 and Deuteronomy 5 and so numbered the commandments. That numbering can be easily found in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
PART THREE
LIFE IN CHRIST

SECTION TWO
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

CHAPTER TWO
"YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF"

ARTICLE 4
THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives you.
Please referrence http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_cs...m/p3s2c2a4.htm.


-Tim-
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  #13  
Old May 19, '11, 6:49 am
trogiah trogiah is offline
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Default Re: What si the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

Here are two scripture quotes that I think are relevant

His mother and his brothers arrived. Standing outside they sent word to him and called him. 32 A crowd seated around him told him, "Your mother and your brothers 12 (and your sisters) are outside asking for you." 33 But he said to them in reply, "Who are my mother and (my) brothers?" 34 And looking around at those seated in the circle he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. 35 (For) whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother."

and another quote

For Moses said, 'Honor your father and your mother,' and 'Whoever curses father or mother shall die.' 11 Yet you say, 'If a person says to father or mother, "Any support you might have had from me is qorban"' 4 (meaning, dedicated to God), 12 you allow him to do nothing more for his father or mother. 13 You nullify the word of God in favor of your tradition that you have handed on. And you do many such things."

These words indicate to me that it should be a high priority for an adult with a parent with genuine needs to meet those needs in whatever way they can. But they also indicate that the highest priority for anyone is to seek to do God's will before they seek to do their parent's will.

Jim
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  #14  
Old Oct 22, '11, 6:05 pm
ilovenonny ilovenonny is offline
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Default Re: What is the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

Actualy the true meaning taken from the Hebrews requires children to grow to be the best people they can be themselves. What good is it to respect anyone if you do not respect yourself, or the true and living God, Of what use is it to obey your parents and not the laws of your land or of God himself. the steps of a righteous man are ordered.
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  #15  
Old Oct 24, '11, 5:16 pm
jcrichton jcrichton is offline
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Default Re: What is the meaning of Honor thy Mother and thy Father?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tankthedog View Post
My previous thread brought me to think of this question which I've had for a while.
Does the 4th Commandment - Honor your father and your mother, that you may have a long life in the land which the LORD, your God, is giving you (Exodus 20:12) mean that we are to obey what our parents tell us to, or does it simply mean that we are to show respect and care for them.

I've thought of this question because I often see parents using this Commandment to make their kids do their chores, but those same people will consistently ignore their own parents. I've always seen this as an extremely hypocritical way of thinking considering I've always looked at it in the former way I mentioned, but I was wondering what the Church has said about the meaning?
...other then a command to do evil... this Commandment is exact!

Does it mean that a father can call on his children to commit acts against God? No. This is comparable to the "obey" when St. Paul speaks to the husband and wife; not a single act of evil can be attributed to a Commandment or a command from Scriptures...

Does that mean that children have no obligations to their parents if they were bad/evil parents? This, of course, is on a case per case situation--the fact remains that if there is something that a Christian (Catholic or non-Catholic) can do to assist another person (St. Matthew 5:43-48) we must do it... in the case of abusive/neglectful parents, the debt is not with them but with Christ--'course, you will not subject yourself to manipulation or allow others to come into harm in order to appease the wickedness of a parent!

Maran atha!

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