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Feb 19, '08, 10:29 pm
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Regular Member
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Join Date: September 9, 2006
Posts: 540
Religion: Catholic
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What Not to Do While Lectoring
Inspired by the "Fun Things to Do In Mass" thread... What Not to Do While Lectoring! I'll start us off:
1) Read the passages in rap style. (Bonus- get the cantor to beatbox for you.)
2) Speak as loudly as you can into the microphone. Occasionally ask, "Can everyone hear me all right?"
What else can you think of? (You don't have to be a lector to post!)
__________________
"Stupidity is also a gift of God, but we mustn't misuse it."
-John Paul II
"Every day you wake up, you change the world." -Jon Foreman, singer for the band Switchfoot
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Feb 20, '08, 1:44 am
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Junior Member
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Join Date: February 19, 2007
Posts: 201
Religion: Catholic
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
3) Read it all in monotone--like that guy who was in Ferris Bueller's Day Off and does the eyedrop commercials.
4) "Preach" it like "Fire and Brimstone"
--Barbara
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When it comes to chocolate--Resistance is Futile!
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Feb 20, '08, 1:46 am
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Prayer Warrior
Forum Supporter
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Join Date: February 1, 2006
Posts: 24,330
Religion: Catholic
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
Sing the reading Broadway-style complete with Fosse-inspired dancing.
__________________
The month of August is traditionally dedicated to the Immaculate Heart of Mary
"And the angel said to her 'Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you." (Luke 1:28)
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Feb 20, '08, 6:35 am
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Forum Elder
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Join Date: September 7, 2004
Posts: 25,075
Religion: Catholic Latin rite
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
Use "focus objects" to highlight words and themes of the reading --sandal for John the Baptist, bandages for the good Samaritan
Dress in costume of a character in your reading (easy to do, bible robes are pretty generic).
use different voices for different personages in the reading
ala Noah and God in Bill Cosby's famous skit.
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Whatever the Lord pleases He does, on heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps. Ps. 135
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Feb 20, '08, 9:03 am
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Banned
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Join Date: June 29, 2004
Posts: 41,777
Religion: Catholic - Latin Rite
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
Quote:
Originally Posted by puzzleannie
use different voices for different personages in the reading
ala Noah and God in Bill Cosby's famous skit.
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Darn!!! You beat me to it 
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Feb 20, '08, 9:16 am
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Senior Member
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Join Date: May 19, 2004
Posts: 7,445
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
Quote:
Originally Posted by puzzleannie
use different voices for different personages in the reading
ala Noah and God in Bill Cosby's famous skit.
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tee
the lay liturgical reader
__________________
THE REPUTATION SYSTEM WANTS TO BE FREE Homestyle Catholic
Dominae dominique: Elvis ex aedificio exiit!
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Feb 20, '08, 9:45 am
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Regular Member
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Join Date: September 9, 2006
Posts: 540
Religion: Catholic
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
Quote:
Originally Posted by tee_eff_em
tee
the lay liturgical reader
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I have to say, tee, I love the stations of the cross in your signature!
Back on topic- Look over your shoulder every couple seconds and speak nervously, with lots of stuttering.
__________________
"Stupidity is also a gift of God, but we mustn't misuse it."
-John Paul II
"Every day you wake up, you change the world." -Jon Foreman, singer for the band Switchfoot
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Feb 20, '08, 9:50 am
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Regular Member
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Join Date: April 19, 2007
Posts: 2,076
Religion: Catholic
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
Start your reading with "Once upon a time..."
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Feb 20, '08, 10:24 am
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Banned
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Join Date: June 29, 2004
Posts: 41,777
Religion: Catholic - Latin Rite
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuscipeMeDomine
Start your reading with "Once upon a time..."
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Or, when you are finished, do a Porky Pig "That's all folks"
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Feb 20, '08, 10:55 am
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Regular Member
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Join Date: August 17, 2005
Posts: 5,605
Religion: Catholic
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
Breath like Darth Vader during all pauses.
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Feb 20, '08, 11:02 am
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Regular Member
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Join Date: August 21, 2007
Posts: 1,436
Religion: Roman Catholic
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
Scratch. Anywhere.
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Tiber Swim Team 1971
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Feb 20, '08, 11:19 am
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New Member
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Join Date: July 9, 2007
Posts: 81
Religion: Catholic
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
Test out your song choice for 'American Idol.' 
__________________
"In the designs of Providence there are no mere coincidences." -- Pope John Paul II
"Let me get through today, and I will not fear tomorrow." -- St. Philip Neri
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Feb 20, '08, 11:32 am
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Regular Member
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Join Date: May 24, 2004
Posts: 738
Religion: Latin Catholic
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
Take out a big gold envelope whilst saying "The nominations for best (.......) are"
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Feb 20, '08, 7:23 pm
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Regular Member
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Join Date: September 9, 2006
Posts: 540
Religion: Catholic
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pious
Take out a big gold envelope whilst saying "The nominations for best (.......) are"
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"Most Interesting Old Testament book goes to.... Genesis!"
__________________
"Stupidity is also a gift of God, but we mustn't misuse it."
-John Paul II
"Every day you wake up, you change the world." -Jon Foreman, singer for the band Switchfoot
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Feb 20, '08, 7:30 pm
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Greeter
Prayer Warrior
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Join Date: October 27, 2007
Posts: 1,228
Religion: Complete True Catholic (CTC)
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Re: What Not to Do While Lectoring
Say something like "Hey, Priest come over here a sec! This thing has a typo and I don't know what the word is!"
or
"Does anyone in the congregation know what that next word is?"
or
"If you own A black Suburban, you left your car on"
All three really happened to me!
__________________
Every Saint has a past,
Every sinner has a future.
Year For Priests
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