Refined motherhood age poll - Page 2

newf · #16 Feb 28, '08, 1:52 pm

Married at 22.

First child at 26.

Should've started our family sooner. The years between being married and having our first baby were just filled with selfishness.

RWMorris · #17 Feb 29, '08, 12:03 pm

Had a honeymoon baby at age 21. The pregnancy was so longed-for although I was surprised I would conceive so soon. It was a perfect time and I often love to think about carrying our first son in that precious nine months.
We had four children (and adopted my niece) very quickly because my husband was in his thirties when we married and we wanted to have our children young, while we had lots of energy. It worked a treat! We carted our kids around the world, living in unusual places and letting the children experience other cultures. Nowadays it would tire me out but at the time it seemed perfectly normal!

Geremia · #18 Sep 22, '08, 7:14 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by strngrnrth

When did you become mothers and how do you feel about your timing?

For statistics on U.S. Catholics, see Marriage in the Catholic Church: A Survey of U.S. Catholics.

Here are some interesting data of U.S. Catholics:

Quote:

Estimated Age at First Marriage
[Respondents who are currently married and have not previously been divorced]

14-17 4%
18-20 17
21-24 34
25-29 25
30 or older 19

Mean age: 25.9
Median age: 24.0

Quote:

How many children do you have (including stepchildren)?

None 32%
One 12
Two 22
Three 15
Four 8
Five 4
Six 2
More than six 5

Mean: 2.0
Median: 2.0

From the above data you might be able to infer the ages of when Catholic women become mothers.

perfectpeach · #19 Sep 23, '08, 3:56 pm

I was 18 (5 days until I turned 19) when I had my first. I was not married so technically it wasn't the right time. But everything worked out wonderfully because I am a happy Catholic married mother of 3.

Red Meg · #20 Sep 23, '08, 5:41 pm

Married at 20, pregnant just before 21st birthday (darn, missed my first legal drink!) and haven't looked back. If you're hoping for a houseful, starting young is usually the way to go...

Margaret

Sugabee43 · #21 Sep 23, '08, 8:41 pm

Married for the first time at 33 (waited for the right guy - we waited until our wedding night! We both were 'born-again' virgins

); 1st son at 35; second son at 37; third son 2 weeks before my 40th b-day. I really think I wasn't mature enough to be a good mom earlier, but God gives you the where-with-all as you need it. I would like to not be 62 when my youngest gets out of college, but oh well!!!

Katharinas mama · #22 Dec 30, '10, 10:12 am

18 - just right

Gudrun72 · #23 Aug 1, '12, 11:42 pm

23- just right.

Kelfa28 · #24 Aug 3, '12, 3:31 am

I just had my first at 28 and it was just right.

I met my husband at 24 but we didn't get married until nearly 4 years later. In a perfect world we would have met at a younger age and married sooner, got the single-family with the white picket fence and then started having babies.

But God had other plans. I got all of the above but not in that order.

Do I wish I started younger? Yes and no. Frankly, I wasn't ready to be a mom until these past couple of years.

sdeco · #25 Aug 3, '12, 6:14 am

To be honest, I'm surprised at how many people had kids in their early 20s and either thought it was just right or wished it had been sooner (!!!) I was 24 when I had my first. It was a surprise pregnancy 3 months after we got married while using NFP to avoid. We adore our daughter and wouldn't trade her for anything, but if there was some way to have the exact same daughter 4 or 5 years later, I would have done it. I know everyone is different, but for us, it was too soon.

First of all, since we were so young, we couldn't afford to live on just my husband's income (we're the same age), and I had to go back to work full-time when she was 3 months old. It was extremely stressful working full-time with an infant. I was constantly getting sick (about 10 colds a year) because she still wasn't sleeping well and I had to get up for work every day. I even had shingles at age 25, which is rare in young people. Not to mention the fact that I missed her horribly. My first day back at work was awful - I literally had a knot in my stomach all day long. I missed a lot when she was little and will never get those days back. That wouldn't have happened if we had been older and more financially secure.

Secondly, none of our friends had kids, or were even married. I know that reason is not as important, and I would never base decisions solely on what other people do, but it was still significant. I feel like we drifted apart somewhat from a lot of our friends during that time because we were so busy and in such a different place. And some of these were close friends, other devout Catholics, who I'm still friends with to this day and hope to be forever, so don't think they were just immature, superficial friends who were still stuck in adolescence. They just happened to not be in the same place in life.

We had our second at 28 and that was much, much better. By then, my husband was done with grad school and we could afford to have me cut back to working part-time. Going back to work part-time was SO much easier than going back full-time. Also, by then some of our friends were starting to get married and have kids, so we didn't feel so alone.

Just my experience. Your mileage may vary.

AthenaC · #26 Aug 6, '12, 9:25 am

Had my first at 20, my second at 22 while in college. Having them really young and while in college was perfect timing; I cannot speak more effusively about how perfect it was. In college you have the flexibility to take care of them whenever they need it, and I didn't have to worry about the impact to my career of taking maternity leave. By the time I started working (and got married) my youngest was 2.

knotanes · #27 Aug 12, '12, 5:41 pm

I just wanted to jump in and say, I really do like the idea of having children while young and/or younger. My four were born while I was between the ages of 19 and 29. In my experience, my parents were substantially older, career-oriented people. The result was very disastrous for me growing up. And I do hope to enjoy grandchildren before I'm too old to get down on the floor and play with them

We're trying to raise the kids ardently pro-life and pro-natalist.

Sillara · #28 Aug 12, '12, 7:23 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdeco

To be honest, I'm surprised at how many people had kids in their early 20s and either thought it was just right or wished it had been sooner (!!!) I was 24 when I had my first. It was a surprise pregnancy 3 months after we got married while using NFP to avoid. We adore our daughter and wouldn't trade her for anything, but if there was some way to have the exact same daughter 4 or 5 years later, I would have done it. I know everyone is different, but for us, it was too soon.

First of all, since we were so young, we couldn't afford to live on just my husband's income (we're the same age), and I had to go back to work full-time when she was 3 months old. It was extremely stressful working full-time with an infant. I was constantly getting sick (about 10 colds a year) because she still wasn't sleeping well and I had to get up for work every day. I even had shingles at age 25, which is rare in young people. Not to mention the fact that I missed her horribly. My first day back at work was awful - I literally had a knot in my stomach all day long. I missed a lot when she was little and will never get those days back. That wouldn't have happened if we had been older and more financially secure.

Secondly, none of our friends had kids, or were even married. I know that reason is not as important, and I would never base decisions solely on what other people do, but it was still significant. I feel like we drifted apart somewhat from a lot of our friends during that time because we were so busy and in such a different place. And some of these were close friends, other devout Catholics, who I'm still friends with to this day and hope to be forever, so don't think they were just immature, superficial friends who were still stuck in adolescence. They just happened to not be in the same place in life.

We had our second at 28 and that was much, much better. By then, my husband was done with grad school and we could afford to have me cut back to working part-time. Going back to work part-time was SO much easier than going back full-time. Also, by then some of our friends were starting to get married and have kids, so we didn't feel so alone.

Just my experience. Your mileage may vary.

We had children when our friends didn't. We got married when our friends didn't.

I would never have wanted to wait. We married at 22. I was pregnant by 23. (Not bad for Protestants, as we then were.) I had just turned 24 when baby #1 was born. I felt like that was on the old side to be having my first, despite the fact that none of our friends were married or had children.]

Now we have six children, and I am glad we had them when we did. Our oldest is old enough to babysit. Some of our friends are FINALLY getting around to getting married and having children.

Blenderx · #29 Aug 13, '12, 3:11 am

Married at 23 and had my first right away. Had my twins at 25. I'll be 27 with this last one. I think its a good age to be having babies, though I wish we were more financially secure. I had wanted to be married and have at least one child by age 25.

bdjohnbg · #30 Aug 29, '12, 10:13 am

I had my first at 15 and my second at 19, and while I fully thought I was ready at those times (not that they were planned), I can see now how my own immaturity and circumstances affected how my children were parented and how they are turning out, now that they are 8 and 12. I see now that it was definitely WAY too early. I am finally to the point now, at 27, where I feel I am truly ready to be married and have (planned) children. I am a good parent now, but both of my children (my older more than my younger) suffer the consequences of poor parenting due to my teen-aged selfishness.