Golfing in heaven/ Life in heaven jokes

[Gertabelle]

Saw a joke about golfing in heaven and wanted to start a thread for some humor. Please don't argue about whether these jokes are theologically correct. Of course they're not - they're jokes! And jokes are mainly about relationships and attitudes, not usually about the actual subject matter in them. So please take any theological arguments to the apologetics forum. They love to argue over there.

So here's the one I know and like. I even asked the priest at my father's funeral to share it with the congregation - my dad loved jokes.

So this retired couple is driving down the highway when they get into a terrible crash and are killed. They immediately arrive at the "pearly gates" where St. Peter welcomes them and shows them to their home. It's absolutely beautiful, a brand new home with all the amenities, right on the golf course. The couple are delighted and can't believe how wonderful everything is.

The man asks St. Peter, "So can we really golf on that golf course?"

"Of course!" St. Peter replies. "It's always a perfect day here in heaven and we have ways of working things out so no one ever has to wait in lines."

"You mean, we can just go out there and use the course right now?"

"Absolutely. Why don't you go right now and give it a spin? And here, you'll need some new golf clubs."

St. Peter hands the couple two perfectly crafted sets of golf clubs, which of course are the perfect size and fit for each of them. Noticing how young and spry they both feel, the couple puts their clubs into the back of the golf cart, which is providentially waiting for them, and they head to the first hole.

The man steps up to make his first swing in heaven, when his mood suddenly turns completely sour.

"Honey, what's wrong?" asks the woman. "How can you be so unhappy all of a sudden? Everything here is perfect!"

"Yeah, it is perfect," says the man. "And if it hadn't been for your stupid bran muffins, I could have been here years ago!"