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  #1  
Old May 19, '08, 8:47 am
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nicolep nicolep is offline
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Smile Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

Quote:
The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "You had a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now. The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, "And you told me adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock 'n' roll gospel choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony." "Thank you, Father," answered the young priest. "I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth." "All of these ideas have been well and good," said the elderly priest, "But I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional." "But, Father," protested the young priest, "my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!" "Yes," replied the elderly priest, "And I appreciate that. But the flashing neon sign, 'Toot 'n' tell or Go to Hell' cannot stay on the roof."
I could see the two priests at my parish having this very conversation!

God bless,
Nicole
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  #2  
Old May 19, '08, 8:54 am
MarieO2 MarieO2 is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

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Originally Posted by nicolep View Post
I could see the two priests at my parish having this very conversation!

God bless,
Nicole
Good one.
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  #3  
Old May 19, '08, 3:54 pm
Jennifer G. Jennifer G. is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

I know some people who'd love a drive-through-confessional...
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  #4  
Old May 20, '08, 8:02 pm
cherylple cherylple is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

great...
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  #5  
Old May 23, '08, 5:08 pm
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Orpheus2112 Orpheus2112 is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

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Originally Posted by Jennifer G. View Post
I know some people who'd love a drive-through-confessional...
Or how about a Credit Confessional: Absolution now, sin later.

I'm kidding of course.
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  #6  
Old May 23, '08, 5:17 pm
peregrinus_WA peregrinus_WA is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

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Originally Posted by Orpheus2112 View Post
Or how about a Credit Confessional: Absolution now, sin later.

I'm kidding of course.
I think that is called OSAS
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  #7  
Old May 23, '08, 5:24 pm
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Orpheus2112 Orpheus2112 is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

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Originally Posted by peregrinus_WA View Post
I think that is called OSAS
You know, as a Protestant I never quite got that. We always talked about "backsliders" and getting them "right with God," but there was always OSAS. I'm convinced that I was actually born a Catholic since I always questioned the Protestant teachings that clashed with Catholicism.
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Some world-views are spacious
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  #8  
Old May 23, '08, 5:34 pm
maggieodae maggieodae is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

I had a fun confession last month...

I love Holy Mother Church's sacrament of Reconciliation. Even though sometimes it is hard to get there and take the bull by the horns...to admit you just have some really bad faults. Impatience is one of mine I fear. I don't suffer fools gladly as the saying goes. But with the grace of God, we can change and we can overcome our particular weaknesses. So, I welcome the saving and all powerful grace of a good confession. It is cleansing to the soul and the heart and the mind. Case in point, a confession of mine a few weeks ago. I was telling Father I was really struggling with impatience and irritability. He is an excellent confessor and spiritual director so he took his time as we talked over ways to defeat this particular weakness of mine. When I finished he said to tell the others in line he had no time for more confession. Now I know God set me up for this one...

The first guy in line blew up and started yelling at me..."YOU ()*&^%$#@ WOMEN!!!!!, why don't you make an appointment. You just yak! Yak! Yak! and take up all of the confession time before mass, when he paused for a breath, I sweetly smiled (gotta love the Holy Spirit's inspiration when your full of grace from confession) and so I told him:

"I am so sorry. I tried to make it short but since I was confessing that I had killed sixty people and am a serial killer, Father took a lot of time. He wanted names, dates and the method I used to snuff them out. Then I looked real horrified and exclaimed.."OH! My gosh, I told you and your not a priest. I guess I 'm gonna have to kill you and go back to confession next week." He looked totally shocked then I grinned at him and he burst out laughing. Snicker!!! All's well that ends well.

And so I urge one and all, don't pass up a great grace which many people seem not to use these days. It's one of the greatest treasures of our faith.
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  #9  
Old May 23, '08, 5:37 pm
Jennifer G. Jennifer G. is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

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Originally Posted by maggieodae View Post
I had a fun confession last month...

I love Holy Mother Church's sacrament of Reconciliation. Even though sometimes it is hard to get there and take the bull by the horns...to admit you just have some really bad faults. Impatience is one of mine I fear. I don't suffer fools gladly as the saying goes. But with the grace of God, we can change and we can overcome our particular weaknesses. So, I welcome the saving and all powerful grace of a good confession. It is cleansing to the soul and the heart and the mind. Case in point, a confession of mine a few weeks ago. I was telling Father I was really struggling with impatience and irritability. He is an excellent confessor and spiritual director so he took his time as we talked over ways to defeat this particular weakness of mine. When I finished he said to tell the others in line he had no time for more confession. Now I know God set me up for this one...

The first guy in line blew up and started yelling at me..."YOU ()*&^%$#@ WOMEN!!!!!, why don't you make an appointment. You just yak! Yak! Yak! and take up all of the confession time before mass, when he paused for a breath, I sweetly smiled (gotta love the Holy Spirit's inspiration when your full of grace from confession) and so I told him:

"I am so sorry. I tried to make it short but since I was confessing that I had killed sixty people and am a serial killer, Father took a lot of time. He wanted names, dates and the method I used to snuff them out. Then I looked real horrified and exclaimed.."OH! My gosh, I told you and your not a priest. I guess I 'm gonna have to kill you and go back to confession next week." He looked totally shocked then I grinned at him and he burst out laughing. Snicker!!! All's well that ends well.

And so I urge one and all, don't pass up a great grace which many people seem not to use these days. It's one of the greatest treasures of our faith.
Well, at least he cursed in church BEFORE going into the confessional... not afterwards, then he'd have to turn right back around.
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  #10  
Old May 23, '08, 5:38 pm
maggieodae maggieodae is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

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Originally Posted by Jennifer G. View Post
Well, at least he cursed in church BEFORE going into the confessional... not afterwards, then he'd have to turn right back around.
God is good isn't He. And since he had to wait another week, I am sure he had lots of time to repent.
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  #11  
Old May 23, '08, 5:40 pm
CindiA CindiA is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

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Originally Posted by nicolep View Post
I could see the two priests at my parish having this very conversation!

God bless,
Nicole
I forwarded it to my priest!
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  #12  
Old May 23, '08, 5:41 pm
Red Meg Red Meg is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

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I know some people who'd love a drive-through-confessional...
You know, there are Saturdays when my littlest ones are just so darned cranky or napping when the confessions are scheduled. If I could pull up without waking them from their naps and getting them out of their carseats, and just confess through the car window like that, I would totally do it. Seriously. Obviously the cars would move through the line much slower than at McDonald's, but that's okay...

Margaret
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  #13  
Old May 23, '08, 5:42 pm
maggieodae maggieodae is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

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You know, there are Saturdays when my littlest ones are just so darned cranky or napping when the confessions are scheduled. If I could pull up without waking them from their naps and getting them out of their carseats, and just confess through the car window like that, I would totally do it. Seriously. Obviously the cars would move through the line much slower than at McDonald's, but that's okay...

Margaret
And no need to hear the I want Ice Cream from the kiddos.
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  #14  
Old May 27, '08, 5:38 am
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nicolep nicolep is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

Quote:
Originally Posted by maggieodae View Post
I had a fun confession last month...

I love Holy Mother Church's sacrament of Reconciliation. Even though sometimes it is hard to get there and take the bull by the horns...to admit you just have some really bad faults. Impatience is one of mine I fear. I don't suffer fools gladly as the saying goes. But with the grace of God, we can change and we can overcome our particular weaknesses. So, I welcome the saving and all powerful grace of a good confession. It is cleansing to the soul and the heart and the mind. Case in point, a confession of mine a few weeks ago. I was telling Father I was really struggling with impatience and irritability. He is an excellent confessor and spiritual director so he took his time as we talked over ways to defeat this particular weakness of mine. When I finished he said to tell the others in line he had no time for more confession. Now I know God set me up for this one...

The first guy in line blew up and started yelling at me..."YOU ()*&^%$#@ WOMEN!!!!!, why don't you make an appointment. You just yak! Yak! Yak! and take up all of the confession time before mass, when he paused for a breath, I sweetly smiled (gotta love the Holy Spirit's inspiration when your full of grace from confession) and so I told him:

"I am so sorry. I tried to make it short but since I was confessing that I had killed sixty people and am a serial killer, Father took a lot of time. He wanted names, dates and the method I used to snuff them out. Then I looked real horrified and exclaimed.."OH! My gosh, I told you and your not a priest. I guess I 'm gonna have to kill you and go back to confession next week." He looked totally shocked then I grinned at him and he burst out laughing. Snicker!!! All's well that ends well.

And so I urge one and all, don't pass up a great grace which many people seem not to use these days. It's one of the greatest treasures of our faith.
That is fantastic! It's so something I would have said in the situation. Either that or I would have completely snapped. Hopefully, I would have taken the prior response if I just came out of confession.

Confession truly is a blessing. It's one of the things I love about the Catholic Church.
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  #15  
Old Jun 1, '08, 7:11 am
Auntie M Auntie M is offline
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Default Re: Confession Joke - I think this one is cute!

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Originally Posted by nicolep View Post
I could see the two priests at my parish having this very conversation!

God bless,
Nicole
LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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