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  #1  
Old Aug 19, '08, 1:43 pm
rinnie rinnie is offline
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Default so ashamed of myself

Whats wrong with me? I love my sister with all my heart and soul. It seems everything that could be going wrong in my life right now is, and not getting better. She just called and said her husband just got an unreal bonus and is getting a huge promotion. she just got one last year, and him the year before. Now its massive, My husband is lucky if he can get a buck an hour raise, and has been at the same job for 28 years. If i could pick anyone in the world to see happy and good things happen to it would be my sister. I feel like such a loser right now. I think I may be a little jealous. Shame on me. I have never felt like this in my life. What is wrong with me? Why am i feeling like this, its just not me. She would never feel that way if it were the other way around. I need to thank God for what I have, and not be like this. Have any of you ever felt this way?
  #2  
Old Aug 19, '08, 2:21 pm
manualman manualman is offline
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

Oh yeah. Don't beat yourself up over it. You just ain't perfect yet. Big deal.

I have a BIL with borderline ADHD who for YEARS was the black sheep of the family. He got in early with a friend's internet startup that is thriving and is a VP making big bucks. Sometime's its hard to see them able to frivolously spend while we pinch pennies. But they're also better catholics than I am, so I just remind myself that God rewards faith and risk in many ways.
  #3  
Old Aug 19, '08, 5:20 pm
diane mcnally diane mcnally is offline
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

Sometimes it is difficult to be happy for others esp. family or those close to us when we ourselves are suffering. Just remember God has a plan for our lives. May be this will help. I think I pulled it from a website called PAMM'S HOUSE

http://www.pammshouse.com/inneed.html

"When will my life turn around?" Why then, doesn't God just fix all of our problems quickly so we don't have to endure the pain? The answer seems to be found in Romans 5:3-6
" but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." This text clearly reveals to us that perseverance serves the purpose of building character. Therefore, God's plan for creating our moral and ethical strength is rooted in perseverance. It is during the tough times in our life that we are forced to look to upward and to depend on the Lord for our strength. This experience and communion may have never occurred without the accompanying trial that brought us to our knees.
  #4  
Old Aug 20, '08, 12:12 am
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Trishie Trishie is offline
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

So you're human!
And you and your husband struggle.
Of course it's hard.

Each time it hurts maybe you could say, 'Thank you God for taking such good care of my sister and her husband. Please bless them with Your graces."
And there's no reason not to add. "Please take care of my husband and me. Please fill our lives with Your blessings" too!
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JESUS who died once for all persons
who gives Yourself wholly in Communion to billions throughout time
please pray in me for every person
as if each person is the only loved one.
JESUS please welcome each person with love, healing, and great joy!
Thank You JESUS


Mother Mary at the wedding feast of Cana (John 2:1-12)
though JESUS protested it was not yet time for miracles
you successfully interceded with Him for a family's temporal need
please now intercede with your divine Son
for each person's temporal and spiritual needs.
Thank you Mother


JESUS please grant our prayer for this person


Catechism of the Catholic Church http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_INDEX.HTM
  #5  
Old Aug 22, '08, 1:19 pm
gettingthere gettingthere is offline
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

For sure. I feel that way often, and it's probably one of my biggest struggles. What I've been doing lately is in prayers thanking God for always providing for us and asking Him to bless others. Especially those who I tend to get jealous of. I'm always happy for my friends, but asking God to bless them more is sometimes a struggle.

Don't beat yourself up about it. It's a natural human reaction, sometimes!
  #6  
Old Aug 22, '08, 1:32 pm
Della Della is online now
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

How about having a husband out of work since mid-Feb., who goes to interview after interview, 2 - 3 of them a week with no job offers? If I wanted to be jealous it would be easy, but I will not allow myself to dwell on what others have that we don't.

I think about other people starving to death or people right here in the USA losing their homes in foreclosures (which very nearly happened to us!) and I am so thankful for all we do have and how God has provided all we need.

Whenever we think we're getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop, we ought to pull ourselves up sharply and drop to our knees in thankfulness. The more we look at what others have instead of what God has given us, the farther we stray from him and his love. Yes?
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The external deserts in the world are growing, because the internal deserts have become so vast. -- Pope Benedict XVI

Tiber Swim Team, Class of '87.

Inklings!

"Sanctum erit, facere bonum" Della's blog: http://dellakmg.blogspot.com/
  #7  
Old Aug 22, '08, 1:41 pm
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LilyM LilyM is offline
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

I try, whenever I'm either seriously angry at or jealous of someone else (and I too have siblings who seem to have easier lives than mine, as well as a hot temper ) to take it as a reminder to pray both for them and for myself.

It's difficult to be angry or jealous for long with someone you're praying for, oddly enough
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  #8  
Old Aug 25, '08, 4:50 am
rinnie rinnie is offline
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

You know it finally hit me, I really took the last 2 weeks to try to understand why I am acting like this. I was the richest women in the world. But it never had anything to do with money. Neither does this, thats why I was so upeset with myself, Money never meant anything to me never did never will.

I lost my brother about 4 years ago, then a year later a baby, now my Dad in March. Thats why I feel so poor.

The reason its hitting me now is my Brother-in law never really had anything, spiritually rich like our family or material. (we were never rich but had more than what we needed.

Well my BIL had a way of trying to keep my sis to himself, tried but could never succeed. Was real jealous of my Dad, and (away from my sis was mean to my Dad) She never knew she would leave him now. Around my Sis he was real good. But he never wanted any of us around. Anyone around I should say.

Well he never had or made real good money. Well now he will, He thought he was so much better than everyone, Trust me if you met him he would make you feel he was better than you too.
Even if you had Donald Trumps money.

But what my point is he had his attitude then, when we were all in the same boat, or really better off, can you imagine how its goimg to be now.

See thats what bothered me so much, We were taught never worry about money, If God takes care of the smalllest bird what do you think he will do for you. God loves you he will ALWAYS PROVIDE. And hasnt he we are still alive, We all have our times but thats his way of keeping us humble.

My point I could hit the millions tommorow and still not be rich. But my true loss is my Dad, my brother, my baby, (my mother right now at the moment its so hard for her). And now maybe my sister (can you imagine his attitude now),

Thats why i feel so poor. I know i still have so much to be greatfull for but the loss is so painful. And the worse part is I cant open my mouth. Because see it really would make me look jealous over the money.

Well thanks for listening? Hey its cheaper than a Dr.

My daughters getting married in 2 weeks and im so empty inside, i havent had time to grieve yet, trying to take care of everyone else right now. My husband is also dealing with our loss he loved my dad, bro, so much, and of course our baby, Plus to make things better he lost his dad 3 years ago. He is an only child and has his hands FULL with his mother. Just pray for us. thanks again for all of you kind words.
  #9  
Old Aug 25, '08, 10:31 am
Della Della is online now
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

I'm so sorry for all your recent losses, rinnie. You're so right--people we love, not money are our riches. You have my admiration for thinking this through and wanting to keep peace in your family. I think all of us have one or more people in our families who are as insecure in themselves as your bil. Actually, he's hurting inside, isn't he--if he has to be so possessive and puff himself up over money. He's to be pitied. Your treating him with love and respect, as I'm sure you are, may or may not be helpful to him, but is right for you and may be healing for him and your sister.

It seems to me that life is a continual sacrifice of our time and energy for others. And, as I'm also sure you know, this work is prayer, an offering to God. Of course, we need time for ourselves, too. Maybe your husband could look into local programs to help care for his mother that would allow him to take time for himself when he needs it. Caring for aging/ailing parents is one of the biggest drains on a couple's time, money and energy. You are not alone in this, either. There may be local support groups for others in your position through which you might find the help you need. In any case, I hope things start to get better for you all--you have my prayers.
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The external deserts in the world are growing, because the internal deserts have become so vast. -- Pope Benedict XVI

Tiber Swim Team, Class of '87.

Inklings!

"Sanctum erit, facere bonum" Della's blog: http://dellakmg.blogspot.com/
  #10  
Old Aug 25, '08, 10:55 am
rinnie rinnie is offline
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

Della thank-you so much, everything you just said about my BIL is like my Dad talking to me again. Thats why he never opened his mouth. He said never come between a husband and wife. It was like HE is who i needed to talk to and it came out of your mouth. Im crying now, but its happy tears, How God can work through people you dont even know. God BLess You! And thank You God for letting me know its going to be okay now.
  #11  
Old Aug 25, '08, 11:12 am
Della Della is online now
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

Quote:
Originally Posted by rinnie View Post
Della thank-you so much, everything you just said about my BIL is like my Dad talking to me again. Thats why he never opened his mouth. He said never come between a husband and wife. It was like HE is who i needed to talk to and it came out of your mouth. Im crying now, but its happy tears, How God can work through people you dont even know. God BLess You! And thank You God for letting me know its going to be okay now.
God sure does work in mysterious ways. God bless you.
__________________
The external deserts in the world are growing, because the internal deserts have become so vast. -- Pope Benedict XVI

Tiber Swim Team, Class of '87.

Inklings!

"Sanctum erit, facere bonum" Della's blog: http://dellakmg.blogspot.com/
  #12  
Old Sep 26, '08, 8:50 am
LaLucia LaLucia is offline
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

Hi Della, just because your sister has money it doesn't mean she is totally a happy person. She also has or will have her crosses to bare sp. Money doesn't doesn't always bring us happiness. It makes our lives comfortable. Money can also be lost too and the person may end up with nothing.

We all have to accept what God has given us. We all have to be prepared for hard times too.
My faith in God is what keeps me going.

God is with you always.... remember that. That is more important than money.
  #13  
Old Sep 28, '08, 7:51 pm
mh2007 mh2007 is offline
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

Maybe that feeling of losing, and a little jealousy is normal competition among family or friends. It's human nature to perceive some degree of comfort or discomfort from comparative advantage.

I would say feelings like that are only problematic if it leads to obsessive behavior. Some people are so competitive they simply can't stand to lose, and will do anything to win comparative advantage.

How does the old Janice Joplin song go? Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?
My friends all drive Porche's; I must make amends.

Take it from someone who has a little perspective on this. Being from a large family, I have six brothers and sisters. Most are far better off than me re. money, but a couple maybe not. I used to measure things like that, and committed to strive for more. As I got more saved up, and it came time to spend the money for better cars, clothes, and furniture, I found that I no longer felt I needed, or had the desire for those things anymore. So, I just saved money and now live a simpler life. It's far less cluttered, and I could care less. Every day above ground is a good day, and I'm thankful for all I've got, confident that the good Lord will provide.
  #14  
Old Sep 29, '08, 8:13 am
rinnie rinnie is offline
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

Hey guys alot has happened since I wrote this. My daughter just got married a week ago. It was the most beautiful wedding, I wish you could have all been there. Everyone had such a wonderful time. It wasnt about money either, it was all about God and Love. When is the last time you heard that one.

There were over 200 people, it was all done by my husband and i and wonderful friends. Everyone said it was a real Polish wedding. Everyone said that for the last few years things were missing at weddings, not here. Everyone said that they felt like a warm blanket was wrapped around them, Warm and inviting. No one wanted to go home either. The wedding started at 1:30 reception right after and at 11:00 they still didnt want to go home.

But the best part was the day before was my husband and I's 27 wed, aniversary, and everyone said it was like us all over again.

Just watching him walk down that Church with her, and the way he looked at her and I, God showed me im rich very rich. In friends and Love, and Family, my family really came through also.

Food was unreal, everyone ate three times. Cookies unreal my friend made more than you will ever know. 3 tables full of them. We pulled off a 40,000 wedding for less than 10 grand.

And the best part was Church. Father was awesome. And God, God was so there. You felt him everywhere. I guess stress can really make our lives hard. But God can take all that away, and make things beautiful. Thanks for all your love and Prayers and words they meant alot.

Now i can get back to life, my wonderful. boring life. (at least i hope at least for awhile).
  #15  
Old Sep 29, '08, 8:19 am
pete 29 pete 29 is offline
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Default Re: so ashamed of myself

Don't be too hard on yourself. Frustration is one of the hardest things to overcome. Peace be with you.
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