Joke thread

[Eucharisted]

I don't think there's a joke thread on CAF, but if there is one, please direct me to it.

Ok, to start off, some cheesy jokes:


What did one yam philosopher say to another?
"I think, therefore I yam"

How do you know when fish go bad?
When they smell wonderful!

What did the Pilgrims first discover when they came to America?
A Wal-Mart.

[JFT]

Originally Posted by Eucharisted

I don't think there's a joke thread on CAF, but if there is one, please direct me to it.

Ok, to start off, some cheesy jokes:


What did one yam philosopher say to another?
"I think, therefore I yam"

How do you know when fish go bad?
When they smell wonderful!

What did the Pilgrims first discover when they came to America?
A Wal-Mart.

Here's one that I hope will fit: What do you get when you cross a cat with a ten-foot pole? A ten-foot polecat.

[Eucharisted]

Originally Posted by JFT

Here's one that I hope will fit: What do you get when you cross a cat with a ten-foot pole? A ten-foot polecat.

At first I was like:



But than:



Nice joke!

[Auriel]

I LOVE bad corny jokes! BWAAA HAAAA....you have been warned!



How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psycho Path

How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Sub ordinate Clauses.

What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.


Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.



A screwdriver walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The screwdriver responds in amazement, "You have a drink called Murray?"



Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.


Adam and Eve had the ideal marriage.

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married,

and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked!!


A fish walks into a bar.

The bartender says: "What'll it be, buddy?"

(in a raspy whisper):
"W-a-t-e-r !!!"



Little Johnny's mother gave him two quarters. "One is for Sunday School," she told him, "And one is for an ice cream cone after church."

On the way to Sunday school, Johnny drops one of the quarters and it rolls into the street and through a storm drain. "Please forgive me, Lord," says Johnny, "I lost your quarter!"


And last but not corniest:

Back in the hey day of the Soviet Union, there was this couple sitting at the kitchen table.

The wife looked out the window and said, “Look, Rudolf, it’s sleeting.”

He looked out the window and said, “No, my wife - it’s raining.”

She looked again and said, “You’re crazy - it’s sleeting.”

He jumped up in a huff and exclaimed, “Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear.”

[LRThunder]

A priest, a rabbi, and a lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this supposed to be a joke?"

Two lawyers walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

[Auriel]

hehehehehe!