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  #1  
Old Dec 29, '08, 3:02 pm
hasikelee hasikelee is offline
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Default More Baptism Etiquette!

What is the appropriate amount of $$ to give to the priest who is doing the Baptisms?

The event is scheduled by the parish, but not part of a Mass/regular time.
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  #2  
Old Dec 29, '08, 3:38 pm
aloejamb aloejamb is offline
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Default Re: More Baptism Etiquette!

Whatever is appropriate for your budget. I would make it more than what you would give for weekly offering but it doesn't have to be overly generous just because it's not during the Mass.
Times are tight for everyone right now and your priest knows that. So do what is in your comfort zone.
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  #3  
Old Dec 29, '08, 4:12 pm
OutinChgoburbs OutinChgoburbs is offline
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Default Re: More Baptism Etiquette!

Whatever is appropriate for your budget and your neck of the woods. Here, the average is about $50, with some giving less and some giving more. Find your place on the budgetary bell curve, put it in an envelope with a nice thank you card, and go for it.

This reminds me of poor Fr. Corey over in Litrugy & Sacraments who once wrote he received a coupon to a buffet as "thank you" for performing a wedding. So remember- No buffet coupons!
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  #4  
Old Dec 29, '08, 5:19 pm
KCtheMommy KCtheMommy is offline
 
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Default Re: More Baptism Etiquette!

We gave $20 because that's what we can afford.

I have to tell you the funniest story about the latest Baptism Priest's Gift though....

Before leaving for the church I handed the envelope and a CRISP $20 to Ian, saying "throw the $20 in the envelope and hand it to Fr. John after the ceremony." Right.

A few hours after coming home Ian reaches into his pocket and pulls out a CRISP $20 bill. "Oh LOOK! I found a $20!" WAIT honey, did you PUT the $20 into the envelope? Wait wait, did you give the envelope to FATHER? "Huh? OH YEAH! uh oh. Oh NO! I gave him the envelope -- and it was empty!?!"

He ran out first thing on Monday morning to the church and handed it to him. Later Father John and I laughed so hard, I said I bet you were thinking "Yeah thanks, THANKS FOR NOTHING!"



Goodnight, I have to do everything around here.

A buffet coupon is somehow more offensive than an empty envelope if you ask me.
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  #5  
Old Dec 30, '08, 8:18 am
Sina Sina is offline
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Default Re: More Baptism Etiquette!

I gave $50. I really had no idea? I think it is what you can afford. $20 sounds good too. Ours was during mass as well so we also had some friends who came to the baptism who also gave, during mass.
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  #6  
Old Dec 30, '08, 9:12 am
3GirlsRUs 3GirlsRUs is offline
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Default Re: More Baptism Etiquette!

You're supposed to pay???? We offered to the priest who baptized dd#2 and he vehemently refused and said we should never have to pay for that...

We did pay for the wedding, though...at the same church, but different priest.

who knew??
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  #7  
Old Dec 30, '08, 9:46 am
AHapka AHapka is offline
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Default Re: More Baptism Etiquette!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3GirlsRUs View Post
You're supposed to pay???? We offered to the priest who baptized dd#2 and he vehemently refused and said we should never have to pay for that...

We did pay for the wedding, though...at the same church, but different priest.

who knew??
No, you are not supposed to pay. No payment can ever be required for a Sacrament (sin of simony if I recall correctly).

However, it's a custom in many areas that a gift is given as a present for the priest performing the baptism. It's simply a gesture of goodwill.

Some priests (such as yours) are against it for their own personal reasons, and then a thank you note would be nice.
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  #8  
Old Dec 30, '08, 10:03 am
Sina Sina is offline
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Default Re: More Baptism Etiquette!

I don't think you "pay the priest", it is just considered a larger donation than average to the church collection... at least that is how I considered it.
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  #9  
Old Dec 30, '08, 11:45 am
aloejamb aloejamb is offline
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Default Re: More Baptism Etiquette!

Giving a stipend is not considered "Paying for anything." A priest wouldn't refuse to baptise if you didn't come with an envelope (empty or not ). And the PP is absolutely right...it's not required. It's a gesture.
I give my priest money at Christmas but that doesn't mean he likes me more or will baptise my future children with extra oomph because I do. I had some to give that I set aside for him and I write in his card that he can use it for wherever he or someone else has a need. He comes into contact with alot more people who are in need than I do. Or maybe he needs some socks or new shoes for himself.
A stipend is an opportunity to give your priest a little sumpin' sumpin' extra. If you are unable due to a tight budget or you don't think it's something you should do ...then don't. I am sure he won't think anything of it. A nice card of thanks (and yes, it can be homemade) and letting him know you pray for him often is a good gesture too. No worries.
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  #10  
Old Dec 30, '08, 1:56 pm
kevinsgirl kevinsgirl is offline
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Default Re: More Baptism Etiquette!

I'd say anywhere from $20 to $50 sounds right. When DH and I got married we gave the priest $100 as a gift. With the baby, though, our budget is going to be a lot tighter, so we'll probably give closer to $25 for the baptism.

Oh, and as the PP said, it's not required at all. Just like Christmas presents aren't required. But it's a nice gesture and I know our priest is going to use the money well.
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  #11  
Old Dec 30, '08, 2:42 pm
happymommy happymommy is offline
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Default Re: More Baptism Etiquette!

We always write a thank you note and put some money in it. It doesn't have to be done, but we always wanted to give them a little something. With our first daughter we gave Father his note and then later on in the day I found out that not only did we "pay" him, but my mother in law gave him money. Then we found out that our daughter's Godfather also gave him $20. He really made out!
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