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Mar 3, '09, 6:12 pm
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Regular Member
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Join Date: February 1, 2009
Posts: 602
Religion: Roman Catholic
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Acts 2:38, Corny but Cute.
You've probably heard this before, but it's still funny 
A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder.
She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts 2:38!' (Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: 'Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.''
Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Axe and Two 38s!'
So remember - knowing scripture can save your life - in more ways than one! 
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Mar 3, '09, 6:14 pm
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Regular Member
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Join Date: October 6, 2008
Posts: 1,358
Religion: Roman Catholic (Extraordinary Rite)
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Re: Acts 2:38, Corny but Cute.
Yeah, definetly cheesy
It is clever though!
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Those mute lips only speak painful words,
But open hearts clear pain into rationality.
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Mar 3, '09, 6:25 pm
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Prayer Warrior
Forum Supporter
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Join Date: February 1, 2006
Posts: 24,330
Religion: Catholic
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Re: Acts 2:38, Corny but Cute.
Here's another good one ... a priest is going on his rounds visiting all his parishioners. At one house he knocks repeatedly, can clearly hear someone inside, but no-one answers.
So he leaves his calling card, and simply writes on it 'Revelations 3:20' - 'Behold, I stand at the gate, and knock. If any man shall hear my voice, and open to me the door, I will come in to him, and will eat with him, and he with me.'
The next Sunday he finds the card in the collection plate. On it is written 'Genesis 3:10'. Puzzled, he looks up his bible. It reads 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was naked, so I hid myself.” 
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The month of August is traditionally dedicated to the Immaculate Heart of Mary
"And the angel said to her 'Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you." (Luke 1:28)
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Mar 3, '09, 6:28 pm
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Regular Member
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Join Date: February 1, 2009
Posts: 602
Religion: Roman Catholic
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Re: Acts 2:38, Corny but Cute.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyM
Here's another good one ... a priest is going on his rounds visiting all his parishioners. At one house he knocks repeatedly, can clearly hear someone inside, but no-one answers.
So he leaves his calling card, and simply writes on it 'Revelations 3:20' - 'Behold, I stand at the gate, and knock. If any man shall hear my voice, and open to me the door, I will come in to him, and will eat with him, and he with me.'
The next Sunday he finds the card in the collection plate. On it is written 'Genesis 3:10'. Puzzled, he looks up his bible. It reads 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was naked, so I hid myself.” |
Love it
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Mar 3, '09, 6:30 pm
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Regular Member
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Join Date: October 6, 2008
Posts: 1,358
Religion: Roman Catholic (Extraordinary Rite)
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Re: Acts 2:38, Corny but Cute.
Oh hehe...I see
__________________
Those mute lips only speak painful words,
But open hearts clear pain into rationality.
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