Joke for all the Irish-Catholics...and the Irish-Catholic at heart

[MJR81]

To smooth over the tense historical relationship between the Anglican and Roman Catholic Churches, Queen Elizabeth II has Pope Benedict XVI make a formal visit to Buckingham Palace. There is much hype around the event, and people of both faiths from all over the British Isles gather outside the palace and await the appearance of the two leaders from a balcony above. Once they appear, the Queen turns immediately to the Pope.

"Observe this, now," she gloats. "With but a subtle motion of one's hand, one can make all of one's loyal subjects gathered here express their deepest praise and cheer for their beloved Queen." And with that, she gave a light wave to the audience below, and, exactly as she predicted, every loyal subject of the British Crown begins to bow and applaud, followed up by singing in chorus, "God Save the Queen".

"My, that's quite impressive," admits the Pope. "But I can do you one better. With one motion of my hand, I can make this the happiest day in the life of every Irishman in the world."

"One finds those bloody Irish impossible to satisfy," the Queen protests. "But, by all means, do not let that stop you from trying. Proceed, Your Holiness."

"If you insist, Your Majesty," replies the Pope. And with that, he promptly winds up and slaps the old bag!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

[Fludgecow101]

..

[Irish Kathy]

Originally Posted by MJR81

To smooth over the tense historical relationship between the Anglican and Roman Catholic Churches, Queen Elizabeth II has Pope Benedict XVI make a formal visit to Buckingham Palace. There is much hype around the event, and people of both faiths from all over the British Isles gather outside the palace and await the appearance of the two leaders from a balcony above. Once they appear, the Queen turns immediately to the Pope.

"Observe this, now," she gloats. "With but a subtle motion of one's hand, one can make all of one's loyal subjects gathered here express their deepest praise and cheer for their beloved Queen." And with that, she gave a light wave to the audience below, and, exactly as she predicted, every loyal subject of the British Crown begins to bow and applaud, followed up by singing in chorus, "God Save the Queen".

"My, that's quite impressive," admits the Pope. "But I can do you one better. With one motion of my hand, I can make this the happiest day in the life of every Irishman in the world."

"One finds those bloody Irish impossible to satisfy," the Queen protests. "But, by all means, do not let that stop you from trying. Proceed, Your Holiness."

"If you insist, Your Majesty," replies the Pope. And with that, he promptly winds up and slaps the old bag!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

I think it's pretty funny too. Here's another joke:

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, "You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?"

The driver is understandably hesistant and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that."

But the Pope persists, "Please?" The driver finally lets up. "Oh, all right, I can't really say no to the Pope."

So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon! He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over.

The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down the window. Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute. He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief.

Cop: Chief, I have a problem.

Chief: What sort of problem?

Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit but it's someone really important.

Chief: Important like the mayor?

Cop: No, no, much more important than that.

Chief: Important like the governor?

Cop: Wayyyyyy more important than that.

Chief: Like the president?

Cop: More.

Chief: Who's more important than the president?

Cop: I don't know, but he's got the Pope driving for him!

[Fludgecow101]

Originally Posted by Irish Kathy

I think it's pretty funny too. Here's another joke:

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, "You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?"

The driver is understandably hesistant and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that."

But the Pope persists, "Please?" The driver finally lets up. "Oh, all right, I can't really say no to the Pope."

So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed ! He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over.

The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down the window. Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute. He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief.

Cop: Chief, I have a problem.

Chief: What sort of problem?

Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit but it's someone really important.

Chief: Important like the mayor?

Cop: No, no, much more important than that.

Chief: Important like the governor?

Cop: Wayyyyyy more important than that.

Chief: Like the president?

Cop: More.

Chief: Who's more important than the president?

Cop: I don't know, but he's got the Pope driving for him!

Oh that sounds so familiar. I love that one though.

[Irish Kathy]

Originally Posted by Fludgecow101

Oh that sounds so familiar. I love that one though.

Hi Fludgecow I think I might have heard it somewhere before too. But it's still a good joke.

This is another one I've heard before, but it's a pretty good one too.

Mother of God help me
A workman was repairing the roof of the Liverpool Cathedral. Into the chapel below came the widow Cassidy bearing the world's troubles on her shoulders.

Kneeling down she poured out her heart at a great level of decibels.

'Mother of God, help me!' she cried.

'Mother of God, help me!'

Unable to contain himself the roofer called down in a booming voice:

'What do you want?'

'Don't be so nosy!' shouted the widow. 'It's your mother I'm talking to!'