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  #1  
Old Jun 21, '09, 5:17 pm
lindeno lindeno is offline
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Exclamation Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

Hi, I'm new here! I joined specifically to ask this question! My husband was raised a Protestant, but he doesn't really go to church anymore...maybe once every couple of months. I'm Catholic and go to mass regularly.

I was talking to my husband today about how the purpose of Holy Matrimony was to get your spouse to Heaven. He said "I bet that's a Catholic thing."

I'm trying to find biblical verses to back myself up. I know that I didn't make this up.

Can anyone help me out?

Bianca
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  #2  
Old Jun 21, '09, 6:51 pm
Luke65 Luke65 is offline
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Default Re: Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

Sure, I believe this passage comes the closest - and welcome to CAF! (And Scripture Catholic is the best website for Bible references, and early Church quotes, for all the Church's major teachings.)


1 Corinthians 7 (NIV)

14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
__________________
Because God did not make death... For he fashioned all things that they might have being; (Wisdom 1:13,14)

Therefore as sin came into the world through one man and death through sin... so one man's act of righteousness leads to acquittal and life for all men. (Romans 5:12,18)
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  #3  
Old Jun 21, '09, 9:48 pm
Liraco Liraco is offline
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Default Re: Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

Even if scripture didn't mention it it makes sense. Just like you're meant to instruct and properly teach your children about the faith so that they may be saved (no one would argue otherwise), so too are the spouses meant to make each other a better person so that they may be saved because of their love for one another. Love desires the good of those we love.
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"When we do wrong we always justify" - Bishop Fulton Sheen
"...it is you rationalists who refuse actual evidence being constrained to do so by your creed. " - G.K. Chesterton
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  #4  
Old Jun 22, '09, 10:24 am
lindeno lindeno is offline
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Default Re: Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

I agree, it makes complete sense.

We talked more about it and my husband said 'I'm sorry that I got all fired up about that because it was silly and thank you for caring about my soul."

I'm working on him.
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  #5  
Old Jun 22, '09, 10:29 am
kage_ar kage_ar is offline
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Default Re: Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

Take some time to read what the Catechism says about marriage. The section on marriage begins at para 1601 http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c3a7.htm#1601

1617 The entire Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the Church. Already Baptism, the entry into the People of God, is a nuptial mystery; it is so to speak the nuptial bath. which precedes the wedding feast, the Eucharist. Christian marriage in its turn becomes an efficacious sign, the sacrament of the covenant of Christ and the Church. Since it signifies and communicates grace, marriage between baptized persons is a true sacrament of the New Covenant.


*************

This speaks about a Catholic married to a non-Catholic.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband." It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith. Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.
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  #6  
Old Jun 22, '09, 11:19 am
LaLucia LaLucia is offline
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Default Re: Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

God gives us free will. If a spouse doesn't want to attend church then all you can do is pray that the spouse starts attending church.

Trying to get a spouse to Heaven is too controling of a responsibility if you decide to go that route. It is better to "leave the door open" for your spouse to enter God's House on their own. They have to make that decision on their own. Your job is just to set examples of how God helps you and is with you always.
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  #7  
Old Jun 22, '09, 1:29 pm
budgie2 budgie2 is offline
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Default Re: Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

It may be that you decided to get married to help your spouse to heaven and accepted a vocation from the Lord? If so then you are starting out to be a saint.
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  #8  
Old Jun 22, '09, 5:30 pm
Liraco Liraco is offline
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Default Re: Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lindeno View Post
I'm working on him.
Love is the best way to do that so keep it up.

While it's true that you don't have control of another person's salvation, you can certainly be an influence for good or bad depending on how you treat them. So be a light to him even if you don't always see eye to eye. He'll eventually come around.
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"When we do wrong we always justify" - Bishop Fulton Sheen
"...it is you rationalists who refuse actual evidence being constrained to do so by your creed. " - G.K. Chesterton
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  #9  
Old Jun 23, '09, 12:30 pm
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mrpathetic mrpathetic is offline
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Default Re: Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

Since your husband is not Catholic, I presume he will not pay attention to anything from the Catechism, or other documents of the Church. Instead, have him read Ephesians 5 tonight:

25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her
26
to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word,
27
that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.


Christ came to Earth, died and was resurrected, so that His disciples (His Church) could have salvation. This was his Pascal sacrifice, made out of divine love of all humanity.

Husbands are to do the same on this earth. They are meant to sacrifice themselves for their wives and families. Their vocation is to guide their families toward holiness, so that they also can be counted among the ranks of the predestined.

This is not just Catholic Theology. Protestant and Evangelical denominiations have the same interpretation of Ephesians 5. In fact, there are entire Evangelical ministries that have sprung up, to bring forth this message:

http://www.loveandrespect.com/content/crazy_cycle.php

So no, this belief is not just among Catholics. If your husband doesn't get this, have him open an account here, and we will explain it to him, in simple, charitable terms.
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"There is no salvation outside the Catholic Church. Anyone who resists this truth perishes." St. Louis Marie de Montfort
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  #10  
Old Jun 23, '09, 1:59 pm
Nino Nino is offline
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Default Re: Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

marriage is the basic form of all society...the strongest unit...a man and wife dedicating their lives to God and stablility..cant beat it..plus toss in honesty,faithfulness and the ability to compromise and you have quite a good reason to have marriage and thus the family unit! Destroy this marriage bond and you will have anarchy of the soul and spirit..looking to the state for order it will only receive in turn law and order..but not of the kind we are striving for..read Orwells 1984 and Brave new world...both will alert you to what is happening and the consequences of it....good question.all the best..
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  #11  
Old Jun 23, '09, 2:24 pm
awantz awantz is offline
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Default Re: Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kage_ar View Post
Take some time to read what the Catechism says about marriage. The section on marriage begins at para 1601 http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c3a7.htm#1601

1617 The entire Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the Church. Already Baptism, the entry into the People of God, is a nuptial mystery; it is so to speak the nuptial bath. which precedes the wedding feast, the Eucharist. Christian marriage in its turn becomes an efficacious sign, the sacrament of the covenant of Christ and the Church. Since it signifies and communicates grace, marriage between baptized persons is a true sacrament of the New Covenant.


*************

This speaks about a Catholic married to a non-Catholic.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband." It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith. Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.
A Catholic married to a baptized non-Catholic would be the first or the second?
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  #12  
Old Jun 24, '09, 2:32 am
budgie2 budgie2 is offline
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Default Re: Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

Being a member of a mixed marriage and having parents that were in a mixed marriage I think this is very nice that a non-Catholic could be sanctified through his spouse. Equally a Catholic could be desecrated by his spouse, I'm thinking specifically about the use of birth control and how this affects mixed marriages. Personally I do not think it's moral for a Catholic man to marry a non-Catholic woman as there is greater possibility that an abortive means of birth control will be used.
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  #13  
Old Jun 24, '09, 11:07 am
LaLucia LaLucia is offline
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Default Re: Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

I personally know a married couple where the husband was not Catholic but wife was Catholic. After many years of the husband attending the Catholic church with his wife he became Catholic too.
Another couple I know... the husband was from the Jewish religion and the wife was Catholic. He also became Catholic.

Both men know more about the Catholic religion than I do because they really have kept up and studied our religion.
I am really impressed with them. Lucy
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  #14  
Old Jun 26, '09, 1:07 pm
dmanning dmanning is offline
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Angry Re: Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

I, personally, have been tormented by this very issue of marriage being a way to help my husband reach heaven. I am a practicing Catholic (from birth) and my husband was raised Catholic (from birth). We were married in the Church and I always viewed our marriage to have a special "blessing" as it was a Sacramental marriage (my mother's parents were not both Catholic, so I was told frequently about the issues that arise due to my grandparents "mixed" marriage). When I was young (early 20's), I dated a few men, most of whom were not Catholic and some that were even divorced already. When I met my husband, it was a blessing because I thought I had finally found someone with my same beliefs and he had never been married. Here's where the torment begins...
We were married for 20 years and he just walked out! I have 3 children, all of which have been baptized, confirmed, etc. in the Church. Now, their father lives with his old high school girlfriend and never goes to Church (at least I doubt it).

How can I now help my husband reach Heaven, when I couldn't even get him to try to reconcile our marriage??? I pray for him regularly, etc., but I have a hard time talking to him as I always want to tell him that his leaving was a mistake and that marriage lasts till death...Of course, that's the last thing he wants to hear, so I kind of gave up trying. How long do I try to keep waiting and trying? I've given the whole thing up to God because I know he has a plan...FOR ALL OF US. I just get so discouraged and lonely.
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  #15  
Old Jun 26, '09, 2:01 pm
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mrpathetic mrpathetic is offline
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Default Your husband needs prayer, and chastisement.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dmanning View Post
How can I now help my husband reach Heaven, when I couldn't even get him to try to reconcile our marriage???
Pray is probably the only thing you can do for him, at this stage. It sounds as if he abandoned his family, marriage, and Lord. Someone who does that has a complete lack of humility, piety, obedience, and responsibility.

I suspect that this husband of yours patently refuses to listen to you - and probably refused to listen, before he left? Is he one of those oblivious types, who didn't really care about their wives - only themselves? If so, offering him advice is pointless, and a waste of time. (I think the description of this person is "married but not engaged".....)

Obviously, you need to pray for salvation. But this person needs a conversion back to Christ. If the Lord desires this, he will likely give your husband a giant shot of chastisement. You don't have to do do this; the Lord will take care of it. (Don't go over to his home and set it on fire or poison his dog - that is unwarranted. And criminal.)

The Lord will give him some setback - a health scare, loss of employment, or similar disaster. Hopefully, this will serve as a "wake-up call". Then he can come to his senses. Then he can return to his family, and to Christ.
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