who would you pick?

[tee]

thoughts for today...

if there is someone who is really ugly but have the purest heart and a great personality versus someone who looks Ok and have an OK character and personality, who would you pick to be your spouse?

If you pick an OK person, does that make you a shallow person?

what if you pick no one, does that make you seem conceited? or having high standards?

[Dchsknight]

People say, that looks don't matter, when in fact they do. It doesnt matter, what you are or who you are, the moment you see someone you instantly look them up and down and judge them on who they are, basically by the way they look. it is not a bad thing, it just how we see other people. People say, oh but Christ said not to judge, but guess what you do it. You would do it to him and honestly, he would do it to you, he would just have the right judgment the first time.

Now what i consider beautiful, might not be what some one else considers beautiful. what you really should ask, is what do you consider beautiful....

I personally love it when a girl is Unique. I love it when she is who she is, and not what the world says she is. If she wants to dress and look good that is her choice. If i had to choose between a Smart girl and Gorgeous Girl, but she was dumber then a box of Rocks, I would choose the Smart girl. Stupidity and a girl who plays off her looks, is a straight turn off to me. Value is not in our body but who we are, and we not Bodies with a Soul but Soul with a Body, who we are is not our Body, but our Soul.

So i would ultimatly say that Looks while are important and what draws us first to someone else, Looks can grow on someone. Looks grab attention, but for me are not the deciding factor....

[tee]

I've thought about this, and to me look is not the deciding factor either.

However, the first time you meet someone the look is the hook to get you to get to know someone. So my question is, if you saw a person for the first time that is not up to your standard of look would you give that person a chance to get to know each other?

I'll give the person the a chance if I already know that person well, but not when I don't. So I'm not sure if I'm shallow or not? I need some more good Jesus teaching.

[Dchsknight]

i dont think your shallow.

I dont like being a around people who dont take care of themselves. MY dad died of a Dibetic Heartache. I am not the shining example of health but if the woman doesnt take care of her self, I am not gonna give her a chance. She is not being a good steward of what God gave her, so why would be a good steward of me. i am not gonna give her a chance be cause we would get married and there would be a ton of health issues all because of her stubbornness to not obey God. I am not talking about people that have differnt Genetic make ups that make them more prone to look a certain way, Like Obese, or facial fetures or what ever. I am talking about people who willing choose to not take care of themselves.

I mean I am of Scottish and Norwegian Descent.... i am a big guy. but I try to take care of this body that God gave me because Diabetes is in my family and my dad died at 32, when i was only two years old, because of his poor choices. I will not do that to my family or wife. So i go to a gym, i work out, i try to eat right, I am not perfect but i try. if she is willing to take care of herself then i am fine... if she tries, but if she willing chooses to neglect herself, then no i wont give her a chance. because when a man and a woman get married they are one. And i will treat her how i treat myself, that is how God commands us to live, so if she doesn't treat herself with respect, how is she gonna treat me?

[OnlyAmbrose]

Originally Posted by tee

thoughts for today...

if there is someone who is really ugly but have the purest heart and a great personality versus someone who looks Ok and have an OK character and personality, who would you pick to be your spouse?

If you pick an OK person, does that make you a shallow person?

what if you pick no one, does that make you seem conceited? or having high standards?

I would pick neither to be my spouse unless I was in love with her.

[Galnextdoor]

Okay... here a trite, but true saying, "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." I know men who think Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock are homely women. There are other men who think they are drop dead gorgeous.

When I was a kid, my first movie star crush was Danny Bonnaduci. (For those of you who don't know, he was the red haired kid on The Partridge Family.) I thought he was handsome. I still think he's physically handsome, but I have read too much about his personal life to ever find him attractive.

I think a man is beautiful when he has integrity, a deep spiritualality, and a confidence in who he is. I also find scars and unusual features attractive. I found the doctor on the tv show Christy to have very attractive features.

[tee]

Originally Posted by Galnextdoor

Okay... here a trite, but true saying, "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." I know men who think Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock are homely women. There are other men who think they are drop dead gorgeous.

When I was a kid, my first movie star crush was Danny Bonnaduci. (For those of you who don't know, he was the red haired kid on The Partridge Family.) I thought he was handsome. I still think he's physically handsome, but I have read too much about his personal life to ever find him attractive.

I think a man is beautiful when he has integrity, a deep spiritualality, and a confidence in who he is. I also find scars and unusual features attractive. I found the doctor on the tv show Christy to have very attractive features.

That's true, men doesn't need to look pretty. They just need to carry themselves with confidence, integrity, and skills.

I think scars are cool too, but it has to be strategically placed . I on the other hand like a nice manly hand.

[Bataar]

For some reason, looks are extremely important to me. I know that sounds shallow, but it's the way it is. As a guy, it's what draws my attention. When I see or meet a woman, the only thing I know about her is what she looks like. If she's unattractive (again, that's in the eye of the beholder), I won't have any desire to know more about her.

[stringbeanduck]

I'm going to say looks are very important, with limits. Being as young as I am, good looking girls with good Catholic values and a selfless heart are rarer than diamonds. I may have met only one possibly 2 so far. Best place to look I guess is somewhere inbetween good looks and good values/not so good looks.

[Dchsknight]

I think Beauty is also defiantly individual. For instance there is an Actress in the movie transformers.( I think all men know who i am talking about) the world says she beautiful and hot. I say she looks like a whore and is ugly.

To me beauty is defiantly what she holds valuable and how she carries her self and how she respects herself. If she has all that then she is the most beautiful woman that i have ever seen and all the rest, Body, Hair, all that jazz, is just Icing on the cake.

[stringbeanduck]

Originally Posted by Dchsknight

I think Beauty is also defiantly individual. For instance there is an Actress in the movie transformers.( I think all men know who i am talking about) the world says she beautiful and hot. I say she looks like a whore and is ugly.

To me beauty is defiantly what she holds valuable and how she carries her self and how she respects herself. If she has all that then she is the most beautiful woman that i have ever seen and all the rest, Body, Hair, all that jazz, is just Icing on the cake.

I label girls into three categories: hot, cute, and not my type. I don't want to call a girl ugly because (1) that seems rude, (2) I might not be that great looking either. For that reason I say not my type.

Hot girls are doll themselves up and come off selfish and bratty. They may look good/ attractive, but they over do it and only look for jocks or other extremely popular guys to go out with.

Not my type girls are girls that I simply don't feel attracted to. They may have good values, but I just don't feel like we could work out. It also doesn't necessarily mean they have physical feature that I notice, just a feeling they are not right for me.

And then there are cute girls. These are girls that appear absolutely stunning by their looks, but don't try over play themselves. They are often very nice to talk to and hold good values. The only downfall is there are not may of them left in today's society; at least the ones that are single.

[ceckis]

Originally Posted by stringbeanduck

And then there are cute girls. These are girls that appear absolutely stunning by their looks, but don't try over play themselves. They are often very nice to talk to and hold good values. The only downfall is there are not may of them left in today's society; at least the ones that are single.

Isn't it funny? I have the same point of view for men. Opposite, I'm part of a large group of female friends, single, with great qualities, kind, good hearts and more and we wonder the same, where are the good men? Not only good for me, but a men in love with Christ?

[tee]

Originally Posted by stringbeanduck

I label girls into three categories: hot, cute, and not my type. I don't want to call a girl ugly because (1) that seems rude, (2) I might not be that great looking either. For that reason I say not my type.

Hot girls are doll themselves up and come off selfish and bratty. They may look good/ attractive, but they over do it and only look for jocks or other extremely popular guys to go out with.

Not my type girls are girls that I simply don't feel attracted to. They may have good values, but I just don't feel like we could work out. It also doesn't necessarily mean they have physical feature that I notice, just a feeling they are not right for me.

And then there are cute girls. These are girls that appear absolutely stunning by their looks, but don't try over play themselves. They are often very nice to talk to and hold good values. The only downfall is there are not may of them left in today's society; at least the ones that are single.

ditto...I would pick the cute category too, but I have yet to encounter one...

[ceckis]

I would pick the one that has a beautiful heart and bond to Christ. There is something magic about it, but we reflect the level of love we have in ourselves. Many times I've met people in different communities, they might not be hot, cute, but the way they act, and pray and live according to God's will is just amazing.

[angelic06]

I know that people want to say that looks should be unimportant, but may I venture to say that what some people consider attractive others consider unattractive, and vice versa? What I mean is this: perhaps some physical features may be God's way of pointing you towards one He wants you to be with. Then you can discern someone's character from there.

Maybe it's just me as a man, but I'm not entirely convinced that what women want (good character, stable jobs etc.) in a man are entirely exclusive with what men like in a woman (good looks)----the point being that woman judge fairly because they discern on things which men can change to make them suitable to future mates whereas men depend only on animal instincts or irrational characteristics and consequently cannot be depended on to judge fairly, that is to say, to give women a chance. Now, does this paragraph make any sense? I reckon that it probably does not.

Now, as for me, my irrational characteristic is this: I (at 27 years) prefer somebody = or > 4 years younger than me, provided she be of the Holy Faith, be of decent character, be over the age of majority (18 +), and she be in college or graduated from the same. That being said, everything else is up for grabs, and I prefer somebody with a variety of interests, including those which may not be similar to my own. In fact, variety (as long as it is not sinful) adds some spice and something nice, no?