The Teaching of Sexual Morality

[lostsheep72]

I have been reading the forums here for some time and can’t help but notice the repeated same questions regarding sexual morality. Have any of you ever wondered why? Most people are just too embarrassed to talk to a priest. Some people (myself included) worry constantly about going to hell for immoral sins. I, like many others, did not just wake up one day and decide to masturbate, fornicate or watch pornography. Just in case some of you haven’t noticed, the world we live in has become openly immoral. School children are encouraged to explore their sexuality and that masturbation is ok. Teens are taught that it’s better not to have sex but we know you are going to so just remember to use protection. Of course if any of you young ladies become pregnant you can always have an abortion it’s you (pro) choice. Also, don’t forget you have other choices too…hetero or homo, it’s all ok. When I was in high school you were considered lame if you where a virgin. This is what I was taught. This is what many children/teens are taught. Later into adulthood you just might discover that social norms are not normal at all but sin. Many people like myself struggle so hard to turn away from sin but as Jesus said we are weak. I have addiction to sex and was exposed to sex and molested at a very early age. Through prayer and confessions that I thought I would never have the courage to go to I am now closer to Jesus than ever. However, I can only wonder why I was not taught at an early age the depth of my sins. My parents, like many, where too embarrassed to discuss these things and am sure they were under the belief that I would just grow out of it. I have never used drugs and have had every opportunity. Why, because my school, my parents and every responsible person taught me how dangerous they were to me and so I feared becoming a slave to them. I don’t blame God or the Church but I am very disappointed. My catechism classes where a complete joke. How many times and years can you teach about Adam and Eve, the garden, and the Trinity. I compare my catechism classes to computer classes in school back then (80’s). This is a keyboard, this is a mouse, this is a monitor and at the end of the day you still don’t have a clue as to how to operate a computer. While I know I was just a kid back then and there is only so much information my undisciplined brain could . . . .wanted to process had my catechism teacher stated taking about sexual morality I would have listened. Was my catechism teacher to embarrassed to talk about it or did she fear that parents did not want this topic discussed? Why are these topics not discussed in Mass or ever for that matter? Is the saving of souls not worth a little change in tradition? Yes we talk about them here and on EWTN but these sources have not always existed and had it not been for them I would still be ignorant on many aspects of my faith. While those without full knowledge MAY not be in a state of mortal sin they are not exactly in a state of grace either. People like me who have learned and “know better” doesn’t make that ever persistent itch that, now, cannot be scratched go away. That itch has become a cross that I now must carry and carry it I will. However I just can’t help but wonder could my cross have been lighter had someone, anyone would have taught me better at that age.

[yablabo]

Originally Posted by lostsheep72

I have been reading the forums here for some time and can’t help but notice the repeated same questions regarding sexual morality.
Have any of you ever wondered why?

I did at one time. I have found now that the truth is there for people to find...if they don't look, they won't find it. If they don't find it right away and make themselves miserable, it's out of God's Mercy; they may reject it readily if they get it before they've destroyed their hard hearts.

Originally Posted by lostsheep72

Most people are just too embarrassed to talk to a priest. Some people (myself included) worry constantly about going to hell for immoral sins. I, like many others, did not just wake up one day and decide to masturbate, fornicate or watch pornography. Just in case some of you haven’t noticed, the world we live in has become openly immoral. School children are encouraged to explore their sexuality and that masturbation is ok. Teens are taught that it’s better not to have sex but we know you are going to so just remember to use protection. Of course if any of you young ladies become pregnant you can always have an abortion it’s you (pro) choice. Also, don’t forget you have other choices too…hetero or homo, it’s all ok.

When I was in high school you were considered lame if you where a virgin. This is what I was taught. This is what many children/teens are taught. Later into adulthood you just might discover that social norms are not normal at all but sin. Many people like myself struggle so hard to turn away from sin but as Jesus said we are weak. I have addiction to sex and was exposed to sex and molested at a very early age. Through prayer and confessions that I thought I would never have the courage to go to I am now closer to Jesus than ever. However, I can only wonder why I was not taught at an early age the depth of my sins.

My parents, like many, where too embarrassed to discuss these things and am sure they were under the belief that I would just grow out of it. I have never used drugs and have had every opportunity. Why, because my school, my parents and every responsible person taught me how dangerous they were to me and so I feared becoming a slave to them.
I don’t blame God or the Church but I am very disappointed. My catechism classes where a complete joke. How many times and years can you teach about Adam and Eve, the garden, and the Trinity. I compare my catechism classes to computer classes in school back then (80’s). This is a keyboard, this is a mouse, this is a monitor and at the end of the day you still don’t have a clue as to how to operate a computer. While I know I was just a kid back then and there is only so much information my undisciplined brain could . . . .wanted to process had my catechism teacher stated taking about sexual morality I would have listened.

Was my catechism teacher to embarrassed to talk about it or did she fear that parents did not want this topic discussed?

I couldn't say unless I got your teacher's intent from her mouth. My guess would be that she couldn't teach what she didn't know, didn't believe in, or didn't care about. One of the three. Ultimately, people are going to have to answer to Christ for their actions; knowing that, it is their choice to teach truly or simply trade on the Word.

Originally Posted by lostsheep72

Why are these topics not discussed in Mass or ever for that matter?

I couldn't say unless I heard the intent of your Pastor or Bishop from him. I can offer the same conjecture as stated above in the answer to the last question. The Bishop and Pastor/priest have a very grave duty to teach as given them by Christ in the mission mandate; if they fail at that, it can only be due to the fact that they didn't know what to teach, didn't believe what Christ said, or didn't care.

Originally Posted by lostsheep72

Is the saving of souls not worth a little change in tradition?

It depends on what the meaning of the word "worth" is. It depends on what purpose the teacher (i.e., Bishop, priest, catechist, etc.) is to serve.

Originally Posted by lostsheep72

Yes we talk about them here and on EWTN but these sources have not always existed and had it not been for them I would still be ignorant on many aspects of my faith. While those without full knowledge MAY not be in a state of mortal sin they are not exactly in a state of grace either. People like me who have learned and “know better” doesn’t make that ever persistent itch that, now, cannot be scratched go away. That itch has become a cross that I now must carry and carry it I will. However I just can’t help but wonder could my cross have been lighter had someone, anyone would have taught me better at that age.

The way that you learned must have been the way best suited to you in God's plan which is laid out with infinite love and care. Don't despair!

If you ever wish to have someone with whom to correspond, don't hesitate to send me a private message.

-- Nicole

[JimG]

Originally Posted by lostsheep72

However I just can’t help but wonder could my cross have been lighter had someone, anyone would have taught me better at that age.

You probably could have been taught better and should have been taught better. There was a period of several decades when the teaching of the Faith, and of morals was simply inadequate, and a disservice to those who were being taught.

I even noticed it in large families, who had a series of children going through catholic schools or being taught in parish religious instruction programs. The oldest child was taught very well. By the time they got to the youngest, the teaching was atrocious. Parents often assumed that the younger children were being taught the same way that the older ones had been taught. But they were not.

To elucidate the causes of this would take a book or dissertation. The 'sexual revolution' of the late 1960's was a turning point, or perhaps a starting point.

[DavidMark]

"History proves to us that apart from the influence of the Manifestations, man sinks back into his animal condition, using even his intellectual power to subserve an animal purpose."

"So long as one’s nature yieldeth unto evil passions, crime and transgression will prevail."

"Man cannot free himself from the rage of carnal passions except by the help of the Holy Spirit."

"If thou art wishing for the confirmation of the Holy Spirit, become thou engaged in teaching the Cause of God."

"Should the breaths of the Holy Spirit confirm the weakest of creatures, he shall attain to the highest station of greatness and shall possess anything he desireth."

"The power of the Holy Spirit healeth both physical and spiritual ailments."

"Release comes by making of the will a Door through which the confirmations of the Spirit come."

[chain]

The questions are asked again and again because society is very open about the fact that these acts feel good. It is very hard to teach sexual morality when you are aware these acts feel good, when you are aware the youth have been told innumerably times from society that these acts feel good - if you do not know and believe that the truth of the Church is infinitely more satisfying than a momentary "feel good" sensation.

I know I had RE teachers that lived their faith, I also am pretty certain I had several who did not. The ones who did, failed to communicate this truth to me - some perhaps out of simple fear that the truth was more than we could handle and would drive many away. The others could not teach what they did not believe.

I do not know all of my communities current RE teachers yet, but many of the ones I work with are faithful and are not afraid to share their faith to others.

[cassman]

The culture is hyper-sexual, that is why there is so many posts on the matter on this forum! Catholics here seem to be obsessed with the topic. Just look on the moral theology page right now. There are several threads on sexual topics. Some may be looking for answers, but some may not be.

If you read the threads on sex here, they are not simply looking for answers, they are wanting to have a conversation, on sex. I think that is inappropriate. Sex does NOT belong in the public forum of society. That is partly why we have so many individuals with sexual addictions. It is too much in the public. I am a certified sex addiction counselor. I have seen this over and over. Sexual addicts come to web forums to "talk" about it. They are subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) feeding their addiction.

Find a trusted confessor and discuss any sexual concerns you have.

[DavidMark]

Better yet, commune with the spirit of purity:

Strengthen my hand, O my God, that it may take hold of Thy Book with such steadfastness that the hosts of the world shall have no power over it. Guard it, then, from meddling with whatsoever doth not belong unto it. Thou art, verily, the Almighty, the Most Powerful. (Bahá’u’lláh, Ablutions for Obligatory prayer)

Our bodies are not our own. Did we ask to be born? God is the Creator, All-Possessing, the Provider, the Proscriber, the Judge and the Supreme Protector of the entire Creation!

Much of the modern resistance to chastity comes from men’s belief that they own their bodies -- those vast and perilous estates, pulsating with the energy that made the worlds, in which they find themselves without their consent and from which they are ejected at the pleasure of another! ~C. S. Lewis

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. ~ Robert Frost (Twenty minutes of bliss, and twenty years of hard work.)