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  #1  
Old Sep 7, '09, 7:04 am
upbeatjonm upbeatjonm is offline
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Default How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

Does anyone have any good suggestions on how to gently nudge grown children, some of who live in sin, to come back to the faith? I cannot keep bugging. How should I approach this? I do pray often.

Jon
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  #2  
Old Sep 7, '09, 8:44 am
SuscipeMeDomine SuscipeMeDomine is offline
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Default Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

Prayer and fasting are good. If they're visiting you invite them to come to Mass with you. If it's natural and fits into a conversation, talk about what's happening in your life that relates to your faith or to the Church. "I was talking to the young man I'm sponsoring in RCIA and..." or "Last week I was part of the group serving dinner at the homeless shelter and..." In other words, share what's important to you and exciting in your life.

Nagging is not only useless for bringing someone back to the Church but may actually drive them away.
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  #3  
Old Sep 7, '09, 5:26 pm
rainy918 rainy918 is offline
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Default Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

As a child who fell away, I can tell you that almost nothing my parents or grandparents were going to say was going to bring me back...
it was the birth of my son and the Holy Spirit that brought me back.

Just pray. I will pray for you as well.
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  #4  
Old Sep 9, '09, 3:13 pm
Bob4BVM Bob4BVM is offline
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Default Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

Quote:
Originally Posted by rainy918 View Post
As a child who fell away, I can tell you that almost nothing my parents or grandparents were going to say was going to bring me back...
it was the birth of my son and the Holy Spirit that brought me back.

Just pray. I will pray for you as well.
Thanks for your honesty Rainy,
What you say certainly reflects my experience with 2 of my own grown sons.
These days, I try to keep them envious of (and wondering about ! ) my own inner peace & happiness at all times, even in adverse situations .

I also am taking the advice of a wonderful Capucian priest who heard my confession in Medjugorje:
" Look at what God has done for you in your life !
With all of the grace He has shown you, you still don't TRUST God with your sons ?
It is not your job to convert anyone, that is for the Holy Spirit to do.
Your job is to trust God, and to LOVE your sons.
You just LOVE them ! "

+Peace,
Bob
**************************************** *************
The Truth is still the truth even if nobody believes it, and a lie is still a lie, even if everybody believes it. Fulton Sheen
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  #5  
Old Sep 9, '09, 8:37 pm
rainy918 rainy918 is offline
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Default Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

And now for what it is worth, I am a Catechist! ! !

I am reminded every year that we are just "seed planters".

We put the ideas there and nurture them while we can and the rest is left to God.
I KNOW it must be harder with your biological children.


Bob, you are on my prayer list too now!
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  #6  
Old Sep 10, '09, 7:30 pm
upbeatjonm upbeatjonm is offline
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Default Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4BVM View Post
Thanks for your honesty Rainy,
What you say certainly reflects my experience with 2 of my own grown sons.
These days, I try to keep them envious of (and wondering about ! ) my own inner peace & happiness at all times, even in adverse situations .

I also am taking the advice of a wonderful Capucian priest who heard my confession in Medjugorje:
" Look at what God has done for you in your life !
With all of the grace He has shown you, you still don't TRUST God with your sons ?
It is not your job to convert anyone, that is for the Holy Spirit to do.
Your job is to trust God, and to LOVE your sons.
You just LOVE them ! "

+Peace,
Bob
**************************************** *************
The Truth is still the truth even if nobody believes it, and a lie is still a lie, even if everybody believes it. Fulton Sheen
Bob, I love this line of thinking. This makes sense.

However, take a look at Patrick Madrid's web blog and let me know what you think. This is what makes me nervous about raising children, who don't end up in the faith, or living in sin.
http://patrickmadrid.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-will-you-say-when-god-asks-where.html

Last edited by Angela Tate; Sep 11, '09 at 8:43 am.
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  #7  
Old Sep 10, '09, 8:49 pm
baltobetsy's Avatar
baltobetsy baltobetsy is offline
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Default Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

Quote:
Originally Posted by upbeatjonm View Post

However, take a look at Patrick Madrid's web blog and let me know what you think. This is what makes me nervous about raising children, who don't end up in the faith, or living in sin.
http://patrickmadrid.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-will-you-say-when-god-asks-where.html

Could you summarize the sermon, please? This is a great concern of mine, but I cannot listen, as my computer, old as it is, has no sound. Thanks.

Betsy
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Time is short; eternity is long. Blessed John Henry Cardinal Newman

Baltimore Catholics join me here!

Last edited by Angela Tate; Sep 11, '09 at 8:44 am. Reason: repaired corrupted link
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  #8  
Old Sep 10, '09, 11:33 pm
Bob4BVM Bob4BVM is offline
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Default Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

Quote:
Originally Posted by upbeatjonm View Post
Bob, I love this line of thinking. This makes sense.

However, take a look at Patrick Madrid's web blog and let me know what you think. This is what makes me nervous about raising children, who don't end up in the faith, or living in sin.
http://patrickmadrid.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-will-you-say-when-god-asks-where.html

Jon, Rainy:

Wow. This IS powerful !
Bless this priest for his courage to tell it like it really is.
I wish I could reach him to thank him for this sermon.

Please, don't be nervous about raising children, who don't end up in the faith, or living in sin. Remember 'where you were' at their age. If you knew my story, you would know that ANYTHING is possible thru His grace. (not to mention the prayers of Our Lady)

I can say this much- all 3 of my sons were (I believed) STRONG Catholics when we sent them off to college.
1 of the 3 returned a strong Catholic.
1 returned Agnostic.
1 returned Fundamentalist.

What is the lesson here ? Well, the priest in this recording says alot about it, and I cannot guess where along the way, and in how many ways, my kids were led astray by the public school system.
I do know, in painful retrospect, what were my own failings in their Catholic Christian education. I also can clearly recall in the same painful retrospect, the many times I was not a good Christian example to my boys. So there is a personal responsibility component to every case of a Catholic son or daughter leaving the True Faith. Because we are not perfect parents it will always exist to some degree in these cases.

That said, please consider this:
No one who understands and believes what happens in the Holy Mass leaves the Catholic faith.
No One.
When you know Christ is physically present, with the Father and the Holy Spirit, along with the entire heavenly court, you are not about to leave or go anywhere else...
As a convert, I am shocked at how many (even 'cradle') Catholics do not believe and appreciate this central fact of our faith.

As parents, God asks us to do the best we can. He knows us very well, and understands each of our limitations.
He will help us if we ask Him to.
But He will not beat the door down if we neglect to invite Him in to our lives.

So where does this leave us ?
1-Teach your children as best you can.
2-Pray for them every day.
3-Especially when they are young, let them SEE you praying.
4-Encourage your parish CCD teachers to teach what the faith is really about.
5-Impress on your parish CCD teachers that when high school seniors are about to leave for college without truly understanding and believing what happens in the Holy Mass, that we as a parish have an EMERGENCY SITUATION on our hands. Statistics in every parish say that they will never see that kid again.
Of course if it gets to this 11th-hour situation, then there is much wrong with the composite picture of the child's Catholic education at CCD & home. But the cases still need to be identified and an effort made to make the young person aware of the reality of the miracle we Catholics call the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. I also assist with teen CCD at our parish, and I make it my mission to address this issue. If we send our youth into the world without an awareness of what the RCC professes about the Mass, we have failed them.

Jon, Rainy, this is the best we can do and God will always accept our best. Beyond that, I stand on what I quoted from the priest in Medjugorje---Love them and Trust them to God.

Through the intercession of our Blessed Mother, God's grace in my own faith journey has proven to me many things I once thought not possible, not the least of which is the amazingly merciful patience God has for us.

So, bless your little ones while they are young, continue to pray for them when they grow up, and TRUST to GOD their future, and their ultimate conversion to His holy will.

May God bless you with His grace,
Bob
*************
No God, No Peace .
Know God, Know Peace .
*************

Last edited by Angela Tate; Sep 11, '09 at 8:45 am.
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  #9  
Old Sep 12, '09, 10:32 am
stbruno stbruno is offline
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Default Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

Pray non-stop to St.Monica who did the same for her son....and she even got a saint out of it, which is ultimately what all parents want....to get their children to heaven with them. This is a great website to explore too.
http://www.catholicscomehome.org/former-Catholic.phtml
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  #10  
Old Sep 15, '09, 8:31 pm
Bob4BVM Bob4BVM is offline
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Default Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

Quote:
Originally Posted by stbruno View Post
Pray non-stop to St.Monica who did the same for her son....and she even got a saint out of it, which is ultimately what all parents want....to get their children to heaven with them. This is a great website to explore too.
http://www.catholicscomehome.org/former-Catholic.phtml
Yes, I do sometimes.
I often think of St.Augustine & his mother.
My own path to the RCC was similar to his, so I've kind of adopted him as one of my patron saints...
+Peace,
Bob
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  #11  
Old Sep 16, '09, 7:35 am
Romans12 Romans12 is offline
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Default Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

Pray and fasting.. and asking for intercession....

Trust me.. I was away for 20 years.. although I was a good kid... in my younger days.. but it was the constant prayer of my mother that won the day...

And it has been revealed to me.. so I know it is true... through a simple little course I didn't want to attend.. but my mother kept badgering me about... it is called "life in the spirit"...

This course will change the life of a confused and wayward youth.. if they are open to it and willing to commit to it for the 7 or so weeks...

So in short... don't ever give up.. it may take time for a complete turn around.. and God only knows why... sometimes you have to be on your knees to listen to God's soft words.... " I love you"....

God Bless.
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  #12  
Old Sep 16, '09, 12:15 pm
rainy918 rainy918 is offline
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Default Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

I have given this some deep mediation and here is what I came up with..........

Ask them why they aren't attending Church... ask them what they don't believe.

I "left" because I was very angry. I was mistreated by our pastor. And I don't mean molested. I mean he would yell at me, not answer questions.. it was a horrible experience from grades 1-8. I was talking to a friend today from grade school that I "found" on facebook. We haven't talked in 20 years! And the first thing she said was .. "Is Fr. X dead yet? Is he still a mean old bitter man."
He affected us all horribly. When I got to where I am today and I talked to my current pastor, I told him that I grew up with Fr. X. He nodded, came over and gave me a hug... he knew. It was enough to push a lot of us away.

I also believed horrible things about the church because no one set us straight. We were just to believe without answers. I have asked my priest certain things and can't believe the answers. I thought that the Catholic faith was uptight and not accepting. My priests shows me things in the Catechism! I am proud to be Catholic... but it is only because my mind has been opened to the real faith.

Find out what your children believe. They may have been misled or misinformed.

Again... good luck.

OH and lastly.... it is nothing YOU did. There are so many factors for why someone might "leave".
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  #13  
Old Sep 16, '09, 4:58 pm
Randb Randb is offline
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Smile Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

We went to a friends funeral today at the Catholic Church, she was my daughters neighbor, All 3 of my children were baptized & 2 married in the Church. Anyway she asked if they were going to have communion and I said yes, . but your family can't go but you can,( once a Catholic always a Catholic) which I knew she wouldn't without her family.

They started going to a Methodist Church his parents went to for a long time then changed to the Lutheran Church
because her husband didn' t understand what went on in the Catholic Mass!! I know before any one says anything., the similarities are amazing! The Lutheran Church has a big parish & have a lot of activities going on for the children and a lot of their friends go there !
But , she also remembers the activities she did when she was younger at the Catholic Church. It was just an excuse.

One son , got married at a church his fiance' thought was so pretty! They didn't go to any church until their kids were about in their teens and went to a Methodist Church sometimes . All I could say was at least they are going to a church!!

The other one was married in the Church & his wife became a Catholic & had their son Baptized etc. But after 17 years she ran off with somebody else and left her son!!

So I keep praying for all of them to see the light!!
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  #14  
Old Sep 19, '09, 1:05 pm
Bob4BVM Bob4BVM is offline
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Default Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

Quote:
Originally Posted by rainy918 View Post
I have given this some deep mediation and here is what I came up with..........

Ask them why they aren't attending Church... ask them what they don't believe.

I "left" because I was very angry. I was mistreated by our pastor. And I don't mean molested. I mean he would yell at me, not answer questions.. it was a horrible experience from grades 1-8. I was talking to a friend today from grade school that I "found" on facebook. We haven't talked in 20 years! And the first thing she said was .. "Is Fr. X dead yet? Is he still a mean old bitter man."
He affected us all horribly. When I got to where I am today and I talked to my current pastor, I told him that I grew up with Fr. X. He nodded, came over and gave me a hug... he knew. It was enough to push a lot of us away.

I also believed horrible things about the church because no one set us straight. We were just to believe without answers. I have asked my priest certain things and can't believe the answers. I thought that the Catholic faith was uptight and not accepting. My priests shows me things in the Catechism! I am proud to be Catholic... but it is only because my mind has been opened to the real faith.

Find out what your children believe. They may have been misled or misinformed.

Again... good luck.

OH and lastly.... it is nothing YOU did. There are so many factors for why someone might "leave".
Rainy,
You are SO right. Unfortunately the RCC is full of sinners, has been since day one.
But it is still Christ's Church.
Welcome home !
+Peace,
Bob
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  #15  
Old Sep 19, '09, 1:11 pm
Bob4BVM Bob4BVM is offline
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Default Re: How to bring back fallen-away children (grown) to Catholic faith

Quote:
Originally Posted by Randb View Post
We went to a friends funeral today at the Catholic Church, she was my daughters neighbor, All 3 of my children were baptized & 2 married in the Church. Anyway she asked if they were going to have communion and I said yes, . but your family can't go but you can,( once a Catholic always a Catholic) which I knew she wouldn't without her family.

They started going to a Methodist Church his parents went to for a long time then changed to the Lutheran Church
because her husband didn' t understand what went on in the Catholic Mass!! I know before any one says anything., the similarities are amazing! The Lutheran Church has a big parish & have a lot of activities going on for the children and a lot of their friends go there !
But , she also remembers the activities she did when she was younger at the Catholic Church. It was just an excuse.

One son , got married at a church his fiance' thought was so pretty! They didn't go to any church until their kids were about in their teens and went to a Methodist Church sometimes . All I could say was at least they are going to a church!!

The other one was married in the Church & his wife became a Catholic & had their son Baptized etc. But after 17 years she ran off with somebody else and left her son!!

So I keep praying for all of them to see the light!!
Common tales to be sure !
There are a million paths to the Catholic Church, have faith-God is incredibly patient with us, so never give up on anyone. Share what you know is the Truth, reflect the joy of your faith to others around you. And "...pray, pray, pray, until prayer becomes a joy for you."

You might just be surprised some day.
+Peace,
Bob
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