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  #1  
Old Oct 26, '09, 4:57 pm
carac carac is offline
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Join Date: September 22, 2009
Posts: 11
Religion: Roman Catholic
Question As godparents, what would YOU do

Hi:

We agreed to be godparents to my nephew, many years ago. My db is not a practicing catholic, but he pretends to be and will tell you he goes to Church almost every week. However, my nephew is now 6 years old, and when I take him to mass with us (he lives about 2 hours away, so it's seldom that this occurs) he has no clue what's going on. So I know he's not really going. We always send him books to help him understand his faith at his level, like veggie tales books and videos, but my brother doesn't read to him and I doubt he really puts in Veggies Tales to the player sooner that Cars.

Next year my nephew is supposed to make his first communion. As godparents, DH and I are at a complete loss as to what is best. My brother would likely throw a fit if we advised him that we thought he should not proceed unless he was ready to start supported his son in his faith. If he is going to push it and his priest locally doesn't interfere, should we voice our objection or just do whatever we can to prepare him appropriately? Even if he does receive, it would be a one-time occurance until Christmas then came along.

When our nephew was baptised, we pulled some favors with our church back home and gave my brother and his wife baptismal prep over the phone (they live across the country at the time), then a family friend priest agreed to baptise him at the vigil back home where our family would be united at Easter.

If we know that our nephew will not be brought to Church as we can't step in and bring him ourselves, should be support his receiving the Eucharist? At this point, I assure you it means NOTHING to him, but my brother will expect it. Our own DD received this year and we made a huge deal and had a big party at our house with a tonne of people. By DB will expect the same. The difference is that our DD knew what it meant and had been aching to receive.

Any suggestions? We plan to discuss with our priest as well, but I'm still wondering what others think. I want to support our nephew's faith, and I don't want to upset by DB and a result my entire family, but I'm not sure we can make this for him what it should be. I fear that he'll walk up and receive a wafer in his mind. Should I fight to hold off until he understands the incredible gift he will receive?

Appreciate your thoughts...
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  #2  
Old Oct 26, '09, 5:33 pm
Br. Rich SFO Br. Rich SFO is offline
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Join Date: June 3, 2004
Posts: 11,454
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: As godparents, what would YOU do

Quote:
Originally Posted by carac View Post
Hi:

We agreed to be godparents to my nephew, many years ago. My db is not a practicing catholic, but he pretends to be and will tell you he goes to Church almost every week. However, my nephew is now 6 years old, and when I take him to mass with us (he lives about 2 hours away, so it's seldom that this occurs) he has no clue what's going on. So I know he's not really going. We always send him books to help him understand his faith at his level, like veggie tales books and videos, but my brother doesn't read to him and I doubt he really puts in Veggies Tales to the player sooner that Cars.

Next year my nephew is supposed to make his first communion. As godparents, DH and I are at a complete loss as to what is best. My brother would likely throw a fit if we advised him that we thought he should not proceed unless he was ready to start supported his son in his faith. If he is going to push it and his priest locally doesn't interfere, should we voice our objection or just do whatever we can to prepare him appropriately? Even if he does receive, it would be a one-time occurance until Christmas then came along.

When our nephew was baptised, we pulled some favors with our church back home and gave my brother and his wife baptismal prep over the phone (they live across the country at the time), then a family friend priest agreed to baptise him at the vigil back home where our family would be united at Easter.

If we know that our nephew will not be brought to Church as we can't step in and bring him ourselves, should be support his receiving the Eucharist? At this point, I assure you it means NOTHING to him, but my brother will expect it. Our own DD received this year and we made a huge deal and had a big party at our house with a tonne of people. By DB will expect the same. The difference is that our DD knew what it meant and had been aching to receive.

Any suggestions? We plan to discuss with our priest as well, but I'm still wondering what others think. I want to support our nephew's faith, and I don't want to upset by DB and a result my entire family, but I'm not sure we can make this for him what it should be. I fear that he'll walk up and receive a wafer in his mind. Should I fight to hold off until he understands the incredible gift he will receive?

Appreciate your thoughts...
I would simply let db know that as his Godparents you are ready to step in and help in whatever way for his up coming First Reconciliation and Holy Communion. tell hi to let you know if there is anything he needs and when it will be. Most diocese have a two year rule. A child must be in CCD/ Catechism for at least one year prior to beginning preparation for First Holy Communion (2nd year). Do not prevent the child from receiving FHC even if you suspect that he may not regulary attend Mass. Since he cannot get himself there, he is not held responsible. And the grace he receives whe he does attend is beneficial to his soul.
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  #3  
Old Oct 26, '09, 6:24 pm
Mrs Sally Mrs Sally is offline
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Join Date: July 23, 2009
Posts: 6,057
Religion: Latin Rite Catholic
Default Re: As godparents, what would YOU do

I doubt your brother is pushing anything. That is the usual age in his diocese, so nephew is moving forward with his class. Continue to do what you have been doing--sharing the faith as you are able with visits, gifts, etc. Let the priest at your brother's parish do his job by ensuring that those in his care are prepared for the sacraments. I'm sure any DRE can tell you about the many children who get dropped off at CCD but don't get taken to Mass regularly.

Pray for your bother and your nephew (and the rest of their family). Your nephew will receive grace from his First Holy Communion no matter how imperfectly he may be prepared. Just pray that he continues to learn and accept that grace each time he does receive.
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  #4  
Old Oct 26, '09, 6:32 pm
kage_ar kage_ar is offline
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Join Date: August 2, 2004
Posts: 12,863
Religion: Catholic - Convert RCIA class of 1998
Default Re: As godparents, what would YOU do

Get him enrolled in CCD now so he can be getting instruction with his peers.
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  #5  
Old Oct 26, '09, 9:43 pm
thankful4grace thankful4grace is offline
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Join Date: July 9, 2009
Posts: 33
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: As godparents, what would YOU do

I'm in a similar situation as you. My nieces are baptized but have not been raised in the faith. One of my nieces is my goddaughter and will be receiving Holy Communion next year. As difficult as it can be at times, pray for him and for your brother. Whenever you have a chance to take your nephew to mass or be alone with him, explain to him why mass is important and how happy it makes God. Give him little bits of the Catholic faith here and there. Remind him how much he is loved and that he has a guardian angel to watch over him. Talk about the Blessed Mother and how much she loves all her children. Tell your nephew if he has any questions about being Catholic that he can always ask you and you'll do your best to explain.

I wouldn't stop him from receiving the sacrament of Holy Communion. Give the benefit of the doubt that your brother will one day return and have a desire to practice the faith and that your nephew will have a desire to learn more about being Catholic. I became Catholic and received Holy Communion in 2nd grade even though my family was not Catholic. To this day, my parents are still not Catholic and as a child, I did not go to church usually unless a family friend took me. I still remember all those kind people who took me to church. They have a special place in my heart and I'm sure they prayed for me. It took me awhile to figure out my way but I'm back and bringing my children up in the faith. So, although it may seem impossible now that your nephew will be raised Catholic. Don't lose hope...pray!
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  #6  
Old Oct 27, '09, 1:12 am
jpjd jpjd is offline
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Join Date: February 2, 2005
Posts: 2,003
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: As godparents, what would YOU do

I appreciate that you are your nephew's godparents, but I don't understand how you would be able to "do" anything about this situation. You aren't his parents and you aren't members of their parish - in fact, you live 2 hours away! Furthermore, the parish DRE and catechist will know of his situation and will prepare the child accordingly. Don't forget, the pastor is responsible for the souls in his parish.

My advice is to keep taking your nephew to Mass when you can and keep educating him about the faith (as best you can given he lives 2 hours away), particularly at this time about what Eucharist is all about (at an age-appropriate level).
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