Nighttime sleeping/weening

[alh5184]

Well, I'm not planning on doing this for a while, but starting to look into this. I definitly don't want to force it. But I have a few questions. Looking more for your experiences then anything else. Just to give a little background. DD starts in a crib next to our bed and then the first time she wakes up I bring her to bed with us. So she usually sleeps a few hours by herself, but most of the night with us.

For those who did completly child-led weaning at what point did your child night wean? What did you do to encourage it? Not sure I want to go this route, but curious how it works.

Also, did those who did not cry it out have you baby sleep thorugh the night on there own? Did you have to encourage it? How? Did you night nurse?

Basically I'm looking for experiences with nighttime nursing and weaning as well as getting them to sleep. The only place my daughter falls asleep on her own is in the car and that's rare. Usually we nurse or rock/bounce her to sleep. Not frustrated with this yet, but want other experiences so maybe we can start working on her sleeping better by herself.

Sorry such a long post. Thanks in advance for your responses.

[romasposa]

I am in the same boat as you, although my son is a few months older (14 months) than your daughter.

We are in the process of weaning as I speak. We were forced into weaning when I miscarried last week and had to take medicine that is not recommended for nursing. Therefore, my son was not allowed to nurse for two full days and nights. Surprisingly, he did great though he did have a few meltdowns. Luckily we were able to distract him with the sippy and such. He was so tired at night that he was able to nod off without nursing and when he woke to nurse mid-night he again nodded off w/out nursing. The am nap was the easiest to get rid of and so far he is doing well without it. Next up is the mid-night feeding.

We began CIO just before he turned one. It took three nights but now he will sleep much better than he was. He still wakes once at night to nurse and we are going to try to get that session faded out over the holiday. I've heard that weaning around the holiday is easier since there is so much activity and distraction that the kids will forget about nursing and are so tired by day's end that they are more willing to sleep w/out nursing. We'll see....

Please let me know if you have any success and I'll do the same. And way to go b-feeding for so long!!!

[Truly Beloved]

Originally Posted by alh5184

For those who did completly child-led weaning at what point did your child night wean?

I did not do child-leaning weaning with my daughter because I became pregnant with my son, so I encouraged night weaning. I started when she was 15-16 months old, and it was complete by the time she was 22 months old. We still nurse once a day now (also not child-led, I restrict the nursing to once a day), and she will be 4 years old in January.

So far, I am doing child-led weaning with my son, since I'm not expecting another baby, and he will be 2 years old in January. I don't restrict his nursing at all. He has not night weaned yet, and still nurses at least half a dozen times during the night. I was blessed for a very short period of time (a week, maybe?) when he didn't nurse more than once, if he nursed at all, during the night. My period returned, and then he started nursing more at night, the little bugger.

Originally Posted by alh5184

What did you do to encourage it?

If mom encourages weaning, it's not "child-led" anymore. What I did with my daughter was have my husband hold her until she fell asleep for the night (lots of tears involved, but she was being held by Daddy, she wasn't alone). If she didn't fall asleep nursing, she seemed to wake up less during the night. I would nurse her back to sleep if she woke up, and I would still nurse her down for naps, but I wouldn't nurse her to bed. It took a few months, but just refusing the breast at bedtime eventually led to complete night weaning for us.

Originally Posted by alh5184

Also, did those who did not cry it out have you baby sleep thorugh the night on there own?

Our kids share sleep with us (always have), and it's been my experience that night weaning comes first, before sleeping the entire night without waking up. My daughter does not sleep alone in her own bed, but she isn't developmentally ready to sleep alone yet.

Originally Posted by alh5184

Did you have to encourage it? How? Did you night nurse?

We tried putting her into her own little bed right next to our bed (after night weaning), and after only 2 or 3 nights of being upset (again, we didn't leave her alone to cry, I would hold her in bed as she fell asleep), she seemed to do really well. It didn't last long, however, and she moved back in bed with us. Obviously she wasn't ready yet. With my kids, I believe that when they're ready for a new phase in life, the transition will be smooth and painless. So far, so good!

Originally Posted by alh5184

Basically I'm looking for experiences with nighttime nursing and weaning as well as getting them to sleep. The only place my daughter falls asleep on her own is in the car and that's rare. Usually we nurse or rock/bounce her to sleep. Not frustrated with this yet, but want other experiences so maybe we can start working on her sleeping better by herself.

I see your little one is 10-11 months old. My kids tend to be developmentally delayed after 12 months old (they're either on time or ahead prior to 12 months), and it has been my experience that my kids still intensely needed their mommy at this young age. Independence comes so quickly that I don't like to force it.

[LongingForLight]

I didn't do completely child-led weaning - I did something called "mother-encouraged weaning", which is where the mother encourages weaning, but doesn't push if the child isn't ready. My twins weaned completely at age 2 1/2, so it clearly wasn't strongly encouraged They night-weaned fully around 16 to 17 months.

Some tricks I used to night-wean gently:
1) Wake the kids up to nurse at night when it is convenient for you. Don't wake them more than necessary.

This has two advantages: One, it's more convenient for you (by definition!). Two, they don't develop a habit of waking themselves up for those feedings. My twins slept from 8 pm to 8 am, and I woke them to nurse when I went to bed around 10 PM (which gave me a long stretch of sleep before they woke to be nursed again) and when I got up in the morning before leaving for work (about 5:30 AM - I left before they woke so I could have more time with them when I got home from work).

2) If your baby or toddler has a regular feeding time that you don't think she needs, try nursing her without waking her more than necessary 30 minutes before she normally wakes for three or four days (you'll need to set your alarm) and then stop. Usually a baby who nursed recently will skip even a regular night-waking if she has a full stomach. After three or four nights without her normal nightwaking, the habit of waking at that time is often broken. If she really does need to eat around that time, the feeding will often move an hour or two later to the point where she really needs to eat currently - instead of where she used to need to eat when she formed the habit - so you'll still be getting a longer stretch of sleep at that time of night.

We learned this one from the No-Cry Sleep Solution, and it worked great for us. We used it to gently get rid of night nursing one feeding at a time from 8 months to 16 months. Keep in mind that I worked full-time, and so my children were reverse-cycling (nursing more at night because I wasn't there to nurse much during the day).

I STRONGLY recommend that you check out the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She has a great collection of tips and tricks in that book, and you can pick and choose the ones that sound like they will work for your family. She focuses on sleep-sharing sleep environments, although we stopped cosleeping around 7 months due to conflicts with one baby's temperament and sleep-sharing with twins. Basically, the sleep environment wasn't consistent enough for her, and she wasn't able to sleep more than an hour straight from the day she turned 5 months until we moved her to her own bed. Still, most of the tricks we used would have also worked while cosleeping.

[alh5184]

Thanks for the responses so far. Like I said I'm not quite ready to night wean her yet. I'm hoping to nurse her for a while longer, but I want to be prepared for when I am ready. I'm one of those mom's who needs to do the research prior to something. But I don't think I want to do child-lead weaning or forced weaning so something in-between would be nice. I also want to be prepared in case I become pregnant, I want to be able to night wean for sure. At least that's my thought.

I knew I could count of CAF mom's for a variety of suggestions and experiences.

[queen_anne78]

I nightweaned G just after she turned 2, because I was heading into my 2nd trimester with this kiddo and was getting increasingly uncomfortable nursing her. Plus my supply dropped. It was WAY easier than I ever dreamed....One night I just explained to her that this was the last time we were going to nurse until the sun came up, and she was fine. When she woke up to nurse, I would say, "I know you really want milk right now...I know it's hard. We'll nurse again in the morning." She really didn't get all that upset....I thought we would be in for hours of screaming, but it went very easily. I don't think this would work as well on a younger child, b/c they don't have the cognitive ability to get the wait til morning thing.

I completely weaned at 2.5 b/c it was so painful to nurse....I still feel kinda sad about it, I had planned on letting her self-wean, but I was glad we made it through her 2 surgeries this summer still nursing...I think that helped her a ton.

[ChelseaRae]

It sounds like your daughter has a similar temperament to mine. She would only nurse to sleep and nursed 5-6 times a night until she was 16 months old. She was very very attached to nursing and weaned herself when I was 3(ish) months pregnant with my son. It was rough because she would only go to sleep by nursing and would only sleep if she was with me. I don't regret it now but oh boy was it hard when we were going through it!

I read every sleep book out there and literally nothing worked for her. We gave them all good tries too (3-4 weeks of consistent trying) but she just wouldn't sleep without me. She weaned herself, no encouragement from me and as son as she weaned she started sleeping through the night. Hang in there, she will sleep eventually!