Catholic FAQ


Latest Threads
newest posts



Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > The Water Cooler > The Clubhouse
 

Welcome to Catholic Answers Forums, the largest Catholic Community on the Web.

Here you can join over 400,000 members from around the world discussing all things Catholic. Membership is open to all, Catholic and non-Catholic alike, who seek the Truth with Charity.

To gain full access, you must register for a FREE account. Registered members are able to:
  • Submit questions about the faith to experts from Catholic Answers
  • Participate in all forum discussions
  • Communicate privately with Catholics from around the world
  • Plus join a prayer group, read with the Book Club, and much more.
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free. So join our community today!

Have a question about registration or your account log-in? Just contact our Support Hotline.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search Thread Display
  #1  
Old Mar 21, '10, 10:49 am
The Reginator's Avatar
The Reginator The Reginator is offline
Veteran Member
Prayer Warrior
 
Join Date: February 14, 2009
Posts: 9,232
Religion: Catholic, "and loving it."
Cool Lutheran Airlines.

Please visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR2_hLa0u00 or read the text below. (It's a lot more fun to listen to!!!)


LUTHERAN AIRLINES



WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIRLINES IS NOW OPERATING IN MINNYSOTA !
ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN , NORDERN MITCHIGEN , NORT & SOUT DAKOTA

If you are travelin soon , consider Lutran Air , the no-frills airline . You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air , here flyin is a upliftin experience .

Dair is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.
Meals are potluck . Rows 1 tru 6 , bring rolls ; 7 tru 15 , bring a salad ; 16 tru 21 , a hot dish , and 22-30 , a dessert .
Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft .
Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage . All fares are by free will offering , and da plane will not land til da budget is met .
Pay attention to your flight attendant , who vill acquaint you wit da safety system aboard dis Lutran Air .
Okay den , listen up ; I'm only gonna say dis vonce :
In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure , I am frankly gonna be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson , because ve fly right around two tousand feet , so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature , and I wouldn't bodder with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes - - you're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat . Just stuff doze back up in dair liddle holes . Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which , to be honest wit you , we're gonna have quite a bit of at two tousand feet , sorta like driving across a plowed field , but after a while you get used to it .

In da event of a water landing , I'd say forget it .
Start saying da Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as we forgive dose who sin against us , which some people say ' trespass against us , ' which isn't right , but what can you do ?
Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden . Not because day may confuse da plane's navigation system , which is "by da pants" all da way . No , it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo , and if God had meant you to use a cell phone , He wudda put your mout on da side of your head .
We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style wit da coffeepot up front .
Den we'll have da hymn sing ; hymnals are in da seat pockets in front of you. . .
Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am gonna be real upset , and I am not kiddin !
Right now I'll say Grace : Come , Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to us be blessed . Fader , Son , and Holy Ghost , May we land in Dulut or pretty close .

[/size]
__________________


“Experience teaches that the man who exercises a frequent and rigid censorship over his thoughts, words and actions, is better capable of hating and avoiding evil and of cultivating earnestly what is good”
- St Pius X
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old Mar 23, '10, 3:04 pm
The Reginator's Avatar
The Reginator The Reginator is offline
Veteran Member
Prayer Warrior
 
Join Date: February 14, 2009
Posts: 9,232
Religion: Catholic, "and loving it."
Talking Re: Lutheran Airlines.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Reginator View Post
[center]Please visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR2_hLa0u00 or read the text below. (It's a lot more fun to listen to!!!)
Have a listen folks!!!
__________________


“Experience teaches that the man who exercises a frequent and rigid censorship over his thoughts, words and actions, is better capable of hating and avoiding evil and of cultivating earnestly what is good”
- St Pius X
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old Mar 25, '10, 2:47 pm
mommyof4's Avatar
mommyof4 mommyof4 is offline
Veteran Member
Prayer Warrior
 
Join Date: September 6, 2006
Posts: 11,704
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: Lutheran Airlines.

Cute.

I found this, too:

Catholic Airlines—In the event of a problem, your overhead compartment will open and rosary beads will drop down.

Baptist Airlines—We don't serve alcohol, but we have a great “dinner on the concourse.” Just bring along a covered dish with your e-ticket.

Pentecostal Airlines—The flight attendant will present the safety information in an unknown tongue, requiring another flight attendant to interpret.

Seventh-Day Adventist Airlines—We only fly on Saturday.

Christian Church Airlines—We fly planes the way they used to fly planes!

Presbyterian Airlines—All worshipers shall remain in an upright and locked position.

Episcopal Airlines—We will take off as soon as we decide who owns the planes.

Church of Christ Airlines—Those other guys aren’t real airlines. We’re the only real airline.

Evangelistic Airlines—If we don’t have a full flight, we go out and get some more!

Calvinist Airlines—When your destination has already been decided.

Arminian Airlines—Even after you’re on board, you can still get bumped from the flight.

Secular Humanist Airlines—We’ve got a plane full of people but no place to go!
__________________
Give praise to the Lord, for He is good: for His mercy endureth forever.

http://www.knocknovena.com/index.htm

Wife of 1
Mommy of 4
Slave to 11 chickens, 5 cats, 2 pigs, and 1 dog
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old Mar 25, '10, 8:49 pm
The Reginator's Avatar
The Reginator The Reginator is offline
Veteran Member
Prayer Warrior
 
Join Date: February 14, 2009
Posts: 9,232
Religion: Catholic, "and loving it."
Default Re: Lutheran Airlines.

A different airline joke ....
Airline mealtime


It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.

“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.

“What are my choices?” John asked.

“Yes or no,” she replied.

**************************************** **************************************** **************
__________________


“Experience teaches that the man who exercises a frequent and rigid censorship over his thoughts, words and actions, is better capable of hating and avoiding evil and of cultivating earnestly what is good”
- St Pius X
Reply With Quote
Reply

Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > The Water Cooler > The Clubhouse

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search Thread
Search Thread:

Advanced Search
Display

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Prayer Intentions

Most Active Groups
8043Meet and talk,talk talk
Last by: HillsongUnited
4828CAF Prayer Warriors Support Group
Last by: tawny
4294Devotion to the Sorrowful Mother
Last by: James_OPL
4027OCD/Scrupulosity Group
Last by: fencersmother
3812SOLITUDE
Last by: beth40n2
3376Let's empty Purgatory
Last by: James_OPL
3184Catholic Vegetarians & Vegans
Last by: libralion
3150Poems and Reflections
Last by: PathWalker
2961For seniors and shut- ins
Last by: tammany
2700Petitions Before the Blessed Sacrament
Last by: grateful_child



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 1:13 am.

Home RSS Feeds - Home - Archive - Top

Copyright © 2004-2013, Catholic Answers.