Ignore That!

[karoleck]

Originally Posted by The Reginator

Indeed!

Rhubarb,rhubarb--indead-tell us a tall story of PiggyWiggy,the inhouse version,from your angle--maybe we can use it as a basis for a Hollywood Blockbuster!! please ,oh please do not keep us in suspence!It will help you forget your rejection at the lousy,mousy place!

[Poco]

Originally Posted by karoleck

...make yourself a drink and eat that stolen hash that you and your mates stole-I saw you getting away from the scene of the crime on your push bike--with no lights on--naughty,naughty Poco.

Alas, I feel shame! I shall go and sin no more.

(and make myself another drink! )

[karoleck]

Originally Posted by Poco

Alas, I feel shame! I shall go and sin no more.

(and make myself another drink! )

I have received that photograph that you sent me,which was taken on our group bonding cycling outing on the virtual tours race.I left it in the work van which is in my garage; but I promise to post it in this thread asap--I think Poco, that you are the leader of the pack;so keep up your energy drinks.Perhaps by then I will be able to read about what happened at the Piggy Wiggy store and the post traumatic stress disorder that it caused PeggyWeggy of Buriensky!

[Peggy in Burien]

Alright, get your coffee, cocoa, juice, or beer, and gather around for the

Tale of the Piggly-Wiggly

Once upon a time, a young mother and Air Force wife, named Peggy, was stationed in Sumter, South Carolina, USA. She was a cute woman, petite, with brunette hair cut short, and hazel eyes with long dark lashes, and a scattering of light, tiny freckles, like flecks of cinnamon, across her pink cheeks. Peggy was blessed to have the most beautiful baby girl on the face of the planet Earth, Jenny Wren. Jenny Wren was about a year old, pale, milky skin, with dark brown, curly hair, with streaks of dark copper, and the biggest pair of lavendar-grey eyes ever seen.

One day, Peggy's husband, an Air Force Staff Sergeant (whose name shall be unsaid ever more), was sent to over see training in a far away place. The young mother and her stunningly beautiful daughter, were left alone to fend for themselves for 6 weeks. She had a brilliant idea: stock up on 6 weeks worth of groceries, so as not to need to go to the store with said beautiful (and later brilliant), but squirming baby.

In South Carolina, of those olden days, there were such things as "Blue Laws." These laws hearken back to the really olden days, when most folks couldn't read or write. The Blue Laws set the rules for what is and isn't allowed to be done on the Sabbath Day, which in South Carolina is Sunday. Most businesses are required to be closed on a Sunday. No clothes shopping, no stopping at a pet store for a kitten, no going to a package store (liquor store to Yankees and Westerners). Only pharmacies and grocery stores could be open. And grocery stores could only have three, and no more than three, employees on the premises.

Normally, our young, cute heroine took her beautiful, later brilliant, tiny daughter to the Bi-Lo Market in town on a weekday. She eschewed the base commissary, as it was actually more expensive than the Bi-Lo Market. Many were the cashiers and baggers at the Bi-Lo on a weekday. On Sundays, the Bi-Lo Market had on the premises the manager, who also stocked shelves; a cashier; and a "box-boy" (as they were called in the California of her gentle youth).

Our young, cute, but tired, mother, having taken her beautiful, later brilliant baby to the Sunday evening Mass at St. Jude Parish, decided not to go across town to the Bi-Lo Market, but to hie herself to the nearby Piggley-Wiggley. Piggley-Wiggley was a more expensive grocery chain, but they were having a sale as well that week.

Her basket full to overflowing, Peggy, really tired by now and dealing with a fussy if beautiful daughter, now enters the check-out lane. Jenny Wren is busy trying to fling herself out of the cart. What Peggy doesn't notice until the end, is the checker, taking the cans and packages out of her cart, checking them, and placing them, loose into another cart!

"Why," she asks the checker, "Why aren't you putting them in bags?"

"Because it's Sunday, and there is no bagger on Sundays."

It seems that the Piggley-Wiggley market chose to have a manager, a shelf-stocker, and a cashier--no box boy.

She points the young mother (barely 26 years old) to a wooden table projecting from the wall between the two front doors. The cashier says that the bags can be found there.

This table is at shoulder height to Peggy, probably waist level to the rest of you listeners. There are, indeed, shelves of paper grocery bags (in the days before "paper or plastic" became the nation-wide question) under the table. Peggy struggles to keep the beautiful, but squirming baby in the seat of the cart, while pulling a bag out, and fluffing it open. This proves impossible.

By the way, the beautiful, later brilliant, Jenny Wren is handicapped with spina bifida, and doesn't do well at the sitting up business even at the age of one.

So the young mother, later known as Peggy of Burienski, takes the tired, fussy, floppy Jenny Wren (both beautiful and later brilliant) in her left arm, and tries this all again. The paper bag opening is above Pygmy Peggy's head when on the table, so now she places it atop the cans and packages in the cart, filling it and many others. It takes forever.

Finally, after an hour of loading groceries, with a struggling, beautiful baby in one arm and loading with only one hand, Peggy leaves the Piggley-Wiggley muttering unladylike curses and cuss words under her breath.

So know you know why, when Delmar confesses to having knocked-over the Piggley-Wiggley store in the movie O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Peggy of Burienski, now grandmother to Jenny Wren's beautiful and potentially brilliant children, jumps up out of her seat and applauds!

[Poco]

Originally Posted by Peggy in Burien

Alright, get your coffee, cocoa, juice, or beer, and gather around for the

Tale of the Piggly-Wiggly

Once upon a time, a young mother and Air Force wife, named Peggy, was stationed in Sumter, South Carolina, USA. She was a cute woman, petite, with brunette hair cut short, and hazel eyes with long dark lashes, and a scattering of light, tiny freckles, like flecks of cinnamon, across her pink cheeks. Peggy was blessed to have the most beautiful baby girl on the face of the planet Earth, Jenny Wren. Jenny Wren was about a year old, pale, milky skin, with dark brown, curly hair, with streaks of dark copper, and the biggest pair of lavendar-grey eyes ever seen.

Originally Posted by Peggy in Burien

...so as not to need to go to the store with said beautiful (and later brilliant), but squirming baby.

...Normally, our young, cute heroine took her beautiful, later brilliant, tiny daughter to the Bi-Lo Market in town on a weekday...

...Jenny Wren is busy trying to fling herself out of the cart...

...This table is at shoulder height to Peggy, probably waist level to the rest of you listeners...

So know you know why, when Delmar confesses to having knocked-over the Piggley-Wiggley store in the movie O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Peggy of Burienski, now grandmother to Jenny Wren's beautiful and potentially brilliant children, jumps up out of her seat and applauds!

Alas, I wish I could write such prose!

(FYI, I grabbed a beer. For medicinal purposes only, of course. The rear tire on my bicycle flatted causing me to crash, thereby spraining the thumb on my right hand. )

[Peggy in Burien]

Originally Posted by Poco

Alas, I wish I could write such prose!

(FYI, I grabbed a beer. For medicinal purposes only, of course. The rear tire on my bicycle flatted causing me to crash, thereby spraining the thumb on my right hand. )

Sorry to hear about the thumb--hope it gets better soon! And what was your medicinal beer of choice? I like ales, mostly, but I am getting quite fond of Stone's IPA, and a local favorite, which is heaven on earth, Mac & Jack's African Amber Ale.

Thanks for the compliment on the writing. The Thomas side of my family are racontuers of great reknown.

I could be persuaded to tell the Tale of the Tail of Boots The Bad--legendary leader of the meanest gang of alley cats in Akron, Ohio.

[John21652]

Originally Posted by Poco

(FYI, I grabbed a beer. For medicinal purposes only, of course. The rear tire on my bicycle flatted causing me to crash, thereby spraining the thumb on my right hand. )

Charge him Officer, he was under the affluence...hic

[karoleck]

Originally Posted by Peggy in Burien

Alright, get your coffee, cocoa, juice, or beer, and gather around for the

Tale of the Piggly-Wiggly

Once upon a time, a young mother and Air Force wife, named Peggy, was stationed in Sumter, South Carolina, USA. She was a cute woman, petite, with brunette hair cut short, and hazel eyes with long dark lashes, and a scattering of light, tiny freckles, like flecks of cinnamon, across her pink cheeks. Peggy was blessed to have the most beautiful baby girl on the face of the planet Earth, Jenny Wren. Jenny Wren was about a year old, pale, milky skin, with dark brown, curly hair, with streaks of dark copper, and the biggest pair of lavendar-grey eyes ever seen.

One day, Peggy's husband, an Air Force Staff Sergeant (whose name shall be unsaid ever more), was sent to over see training in a far away place. The young mother and her stunningly beautiful daughter, were left alone to fend for themselves for 6 weeks. She had a brilliant idea: stock up on 6 weeks worth of groceries, so as not to need to go to the store with said beautiful (and later brilliant), but squirming baby.

In South Carolina, of those olden days, there were such things as "Blue Laws." These laws hearken back to the really olden days, when most folks couldn't read or write. The Blue Laws set the rules for what is and isn't allowed to be done on the Sabbath Day, which in South Carolina is Sunday. Most businesses are required to be closed on a Sunday. No clothes shopping, no stopping at a pet store for a kitten, no going to a package store (liquor store to Yankees and Westerners). Only pharmacies and grocery stores could be open. And grocery stores could only have three, and no more than three, employees on the premises.

Normally, our young, cute heroine took her beautiful, later brilliant, tiny daughter to the Bi-Lo Market in town on a weekday. She eschewed the base commissary, as it was actually more expensive than the Bi-Lo Market. Many were the cashiers and baggers at the Bi-Lo on a weekday. On Sundays, the Bi-Lo Market had on the premises the manager, who also stocked shelves; a cashier; and a "box-boy" (as they were called in the California of her gentle youth).

Our young, cute, but tired, mother, having taken her beautiful, later brilliant baby to the Sunday evening Mass at St. Jude Parish, decided not to go across town to the Bi-Lo Market, but to hie herself to the nearby Piggley-Wiggley. Piggley-Wiggley was a more expensive grocery chain, but they were having a sale as well that week.

Her basket full to overflowing, Peggy, really tired by now and dealing with a fussy if beautiful daughter, now enters the check-out lane. Jenny Wren is busy trying to fling herself out of the cart. What Peggy doesn't notice until the end, is the checker, taking the cans and packages out of her cart, checking them, and placing them, loose into another cart!

"Why," she asks the checker, "Why aren't you putting them in bags?"

"Because it's Sunday, and there is no bagger on Sundays."

It seems that the Piggley-Wiggley market chose to have a manager, a shelf-stocker, and a cashier--no box boy.

She points the young mother (barely 26 years old) to a wooden table projecting from the wall between the two front doors. The cashier says that the bags can be found there.

This table is at shoulder height to Peggy, probably waist level to the rest of you listeners. There are, indeed, shelves of paper grocery bags (in the days before "paper or plastic" became the nation-wide question) under the table. Peggy struggles to keep the beautiful, but squirming baby in the seat of the cart, while pulling a bag out, and fluffing it open. This proves impossible.

By the way, the beautiful, later brilliant, Jenny Wren is handicapped with spina bifida, and doesn't do well at the sitting up business even at the age of one.

So the young mother, later known as Peggy of Burienski, takes the tired, fussy, floppy Jenny Wren (both beautiful and later brilliant) in her left arm, and tries this all again. The paper bag opening is above Pygmy Peggy's head when on the table, so now she places it atop the cans and packages in the cart, filling it and many others. It takes forever.

Finally, after an hour of loading groceries, with a struggling, beautiful baby in one arm and loading with only one hand, Peggy leaves the Piggley-Wiggley muttering unladylike curses and cuss words under her breath.

So know you know why, when Delmar confesses to having knocked-over the Piggley-Wiggley store in the movie O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Peggy of Burienski, now grandmother to Jenny Wren's beautiful and potentially brilliant children, jumps up out of her seat and applauds!

That was the most moving checkout story that I have ever herd this side of the grave! I was wrestling with all the emotions that a man of senior years can muster--it was movie justice that the Piggy Wiggy was done over!! Some checkout people are just not very nice at times--though they are nice to me!!(in fact even tonight the lady wished me "I hope you have a very nice night" though she laughted at my purchase of a special buy of Latvian Liverworst-she said it was small!!

Mothers like yourself deserve a medal or even a sightation for raising up such wonderful children.Thank you for sharing this story--now I can die in peacess!!

[Peggy in Burien]

Originally Posted by karoleck

That was the most moving checkout story that I have ever herd this side of the grave! I was wrestling with all the emotions that a man of senior years can muster--it was movie justice that the Piggy Wiggy was done over!! Some checkout people are just not very nice at times--though they are nice to me!!(in fact even tonight the lady wished me "I hope you have a very nice night" though she laughted at my purchase of a special buy of Latvian Liverworst-she said it was small!!

Mothers like yourself deserve a medal or even a sightation for raising up such wonderful children.Thank you for sharing this story--now I can die in peacess!!

Oh, please, don't die in peacess, St. K! Can't you just aspire to expire in bed?

I have the most dedicated, delightful checkout lady here at the Burien Safeway. The other lady wasn't rude, I think she had never had a Westerner ask for a bagger on a Sunday before. It was a shock to her system!

[Poco]

Originally Posted by Peggy in Burien

Sorry to hear about the thumb--hope it gets better soon! And what was your medicinal beer of choice?

Ah, a simple Budweiser. Cold and refreshing!

Originally Posted by Peggy in Burien

I could be persuaded to tell the Tale of the Tail of Boots The Bad--legendary leader of the meanest gang of alley cats in Akron, Ohio.

Please do!

[John21652]

Originally Posted by Poco

Ah, a simple Budweiser. Cold and refreshing!

Lollywater.

Please do!

Grooooaaaan.

Can't we have some dog stories.

[The Reginator]

Peggatha.
That was bee-you-tee-full. A great story teller thou art.

I can ne tell a story pas. (That's my French. Sorry.)

John21652. So you want a dog story?
Hows about a 'shaggy dog' story?:

A Dog Named Mace
There was once a handyman who had a dog named Mace. Mace was a great dog except he had one weird habit: he liked to eat grass - not just a little bit, but in quantities that would make a lawnmower blush. And nothing, it seemed, could cure him of it.
One day, the handyman lost his wrench in the tall grass while he was working outside. He looked and looked, but it was nowhere to be found. As it was getting dark, he gave up for the night and decided to look the next morning.
When he awoke, he went outside, and saw that his dog had eaten the grass all in the area, around where he had been working, and his wrench now lay in plain sight, glinting in the sun.
Going out to get his wrench, he called the dog over to him and said, "A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me."

Courtesy of badpuns.com

[Poco]

Originally Posted by John21652

Lollywater.

Aye, mate! Unfortunately I was unable to procure any Victoria Bitter.

[Poco]

Oops! I forgot to add this...

Cut yer name across me backbone
Stretch me skin across yer drum
Iron me up on Pinchgut Island
From now to Kingdom Come.
I'll eat yer Norfolk Dumpling
Like a juicy Spanish plum,
Even dance the Newgate Hornpipe
If ye'll only gimme Rum!

For our good mate, John!

[John21652]

Originally Posted by Poco

Oops! I forgot to add this...

Cut yer name across me backbone
Stretch me skin across yer drum
Iron me up on Pinchgut Island
From now to Kingdom Come.
I'll eat yer Norfolk Dumpling
Like a juicy Spanish plum,
Even dance the Newgate Hornpipe
If ye'll only gimme Rum!

For our good mate, John!

Life can be awfully cruel, but I'm not so sure about dancing the Newgate Hornpipe for a Rum. Man, that's desperate!

A song on life's cruelty...


Oh it's-a lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the campfire at night we'll hear the wild dingoes call
But there's-a nothing so lonesome, morbid or drear
Than to stand in the bar of a pub with no beer
Now the publican's anxious for the quota to come
And there's a far away look on the face of the bum
The maid's gone all cranky and the cook's acting queer
Oh what a terrible place is a pub with no beer
Then the stockman rides up with his dry dusty throat
He breasts up to the bar and pulls a wad from his coat
But the smile on his face quickly turns to a sneer
As the barman says sadly the pub's got no beer
Then the swaggie comes in smothered in dust and flies
He throws down his roll and rubs the sweat from his eyes
But when he is told, he says what's this I hear
I've trudged fifty flamin' miles to a pub with no beer
Now there's a dog on the v'randa, for his master he waits
But the boss is inside drinking wine with his mates
He hurries for cover and he cringes in fear
It's no place for a dog 'round a pub with no beer
And old Billy the blacksmith, the first time in his life
Why he's gone home cold sober to his darling wife
He walks in the kitchen, she says you're early Bill dear
But then he breaks down and tells her the pub's got no beer
Oh it's hard to believe that there's customers still
But the money's still tinkling in the old ancient till
The wine buffs are happy and I know they're sincere
When they say they don't care if the pub's got no beer
So it's-a lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the campfire at night we'll hear the wild dingoes call
But there's-a nothing so lonesome, morbid or drear
Than to stand in the bar of that pub with no beer

Wikipedia info here

Original 1959 version by Slim Dusty.