Catholic FAQ


Latest Threads
newest posts



Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > Catholic Living > Family Life
 

Welcome to Catholic Answers Forums, the largest Catholic Community on the Web.

Here you can join over 400,000 members from around the world discussing all things Catholic. Membership is open to all, Catholic and non-Catholic alike, who seek the Truth with Charity.

To gain full access, you must register for a FREE account. Registered members are able to:
  • Submit questions about the faith to experts from Catholic Answers
  • Participate in all forum discussions
  • Communicate privately with Catholics from around the world
  • Plus join a prayer group, read with the Book Club, and much more.
Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free. So join our community today!

Have a question about registration or your account log-in? Just contact our Support Hotline.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search Thread Display
  #1  
Old Apr 26, '10, 4:41 pm
srlucado srlucado is offline
Regular Member
Book Club Member
 
Join Date: February 19, 2009
Posts: 1,647
Default Declining offer of becoming a godparent?

Has anyone been asked to be a godparent and said no?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old Apr 26, '10, 5:11 pm
JerrySeibert's Avatar
JerrySeibert JerrySeibert is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: January 15, 2010
Posts: 511
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Declining offer of becoming a godparent?

It sounds so cruel but yes. Because I knew the family of the child. I knew they had no faith. The father joked about asking me for directions to the Church. I asked the father, if I do this will you go back to Church. How can I help teach your son about Christ if you won't teach him. I explained that substitute teachers are not very effective teaching Christianity.
So yes. It's sad, I did say no. But, I would not suggest it. I feel horrible for doing so. I now wonder how his spiritual life would be if I had not. I was looking at the situation from a selfish perspective. He only picked me because he knows I am involved at Church and I have a relationship with Christ. Now, I realize how dumb that decision was on my part, not his. He had the wisdom to know .... "I don't know" and went to someone who he thought did. And I turned him down.
Please if your faith is strong. Don't turn them down. Your example may the only example that child will know.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old Apr 26, '10, 6:55 pm
Whitacre_Girl Whitacre_Girl is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: December 7, 2008
Posts: 3,136
Default Re: Declining offer of becoming a godparent?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JerrySeibert View Post
It sounds so cruel but yes. Because I knew the family of the child. I knew they had no faith. The father joked about asking me for directions to the Church. I asked the father, if I do this will you go back to Church. How can I help teach your son about Christ if you won't teach him. I explained that substitute teachers are not very effective teaching Christianity.
So yes. It's sad, I did say no. But, I would not suggest it. I feel horrible for doing so. I now wonder how his spiritual life would be if I had not. I was looking at the situation from a selfish perspective. He only picked me because he knows I am involved at Church and I have a relationship with Christ. Now, I realize how dumb that decision was on my part, not his. He had the wisdom to know .... "I don't know" and went to someone who he thought did. And I turned him down.
Please if your faith is strong. Don't turn them down. Your example may the only example that child will know.


This says more than I ever could.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old Apr 26, '10, 7:01 pm
bluerose bluerose is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: June 15, 2004
Posts: 2,786
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Declining offer of becoming a godparent?

Only once... when a fallen-away Catholic friend asked us to be her son's godparents when they had him baptized in the Lutheran church (to which they no longer belong, either....)
__________________
BlueRose

www.amymbennettbooks.com

NOW AVAILABLE from amazon.com: "No Lifeguard on Duty", the second book in the Black Horse Campground series, from Oak Tree Press!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old Apr 26, '10, 7:25 pm
Rence Rence is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: December 12, 2009
Posts: 7,484
Religion: Roman Catholic
Default Re: Declining offer of becoming a godparent?

No, but I wish I had. My brother asked me to be godmother to his child, and I reluctantly agreed. Both he and his ex-wife are anything but practicing Catholics, and we're separated by 500 miles. I don't have any control over what happens.

Part of the reason why I agreed in the first place is that I thought godparents picked up spiritual education and nurturing IF the parents died. And although some people say this is how it is. Others disagree and say you have to be involved in their spiritual nurturing WITH the parents.

I wish I had never agreed, even if it would have hurt my brother. But they don't take it seriously. I really don't know why they even bothered. My brother used to attend a seminarian preparatory high school and fell away from the Church soon after. The mother of the children is dear to me but was never nurtured beyond Baptism. In fact, when the mood strikes her to be spiritual, it's often in a non-Catholic atmosphere.

My last attempt was to offer to pay for Catechism classes for both of my nephews, and she refused saying it would confuse them because they attend a non-Catholic Christian school, and they aren't practicing Catholics anyway.

I feel helpless, but I can't overstep my bounds with the kids' mother (or father).

If I would have known that my responsibilities would take effect now, and had nothing to do with whether or not the parents were around, I would have most definitely refused and not thought twice about it.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old Apr 26, '10, 7:34 pm
flyingfish flyingfish is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: March 14, 2009
Posts: 3,076
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Declining offer of becoming a godparent?

I don't think it would be cruel to say no. If you don't feel like you're qualified to fulfill that role, just say so. Say you're terrible with children and don't trust yourself with that kind of a responsibility.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old Apr 27, '10, 1:51 pm
m crane m crane is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: January 14, 2008
Posts: 466
Religion: CATHOLIC
Default Re: Declining offer of becoming a godparent?

Agreeing to be a Godparent is a matter of discernment. There are many good reasons someone should decline being a Godparent.

Some already mentioned above.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old Apr 27, '10, 5:35 pm
leonie leonie is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: September 10, 2006
Posts: 5,254
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Declining offer of becoming a godparent?

I've never said no, but I have four Godchildren that aren't being reared in the Faith. However, I believe that the parents did intend at the time of their Baptisms to raise them Catholic. But, I also knew that with their personalities, it was a slim chance that they would do so. Just flaky.

What factored into my decision to agree was that the priest was agreeing to Baptise them. so, they would be baptised. And, I knew if I declined the invitation, they would find a nominal Catholic in our family to be a Godparent. So, I reasoned at least I knew I would pray for my Godchildren.

I think I'm doing a pretty lousy job, though. My oldest Godchild is an atheist. The four other Godchildren are not in any church. Only my two Goddaughters are being reared Catholic. Their parents are serious Catholics.

I don't know if it was a good decision or not. Maybe I should have said no.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old Apr 27, '10, 5:37 pm
srlucado srlucado is offline
Regular Member
Book Club Member
 
Join Date: February 19, 2009
Posts: 1,647
Default Re: Declining offer of becoming a godparent?

Thanks for the replies.

Many years ago, when I wasn't practicing any religion whatsoever, I was asked to be a godparent. (It was some Protestant denomination; I forget which.)

I turned it down, because frankly, it seemed absurd (not to mention hypocritical) that I would agree to support some faith that I didn't share.

At the time, the person who asked was offended, saying that being a godparent was no big deal, and godparents really don't do anything anyway. (That seemed like a very odd thing to say, don't you think?)

Now, in retrospect, I think I made the right decision, but every now and then, I wonder how that kid turned out...

--Scott
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old Apr 27, '10, 5:43 pm
leonie leonie is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: September 10, 2006
Posts: 5,254
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Declining offer of becoming a godparent?

Quote:
Originally Posted by srlucado View Post
Thanks for the replies.

Many years ago, when I wasn't practicing any religion whatsoever, I was asked to be a godparent. (It was some Protestant denomination; I forget which.)

I turned it down, because frankly, it seemed absurd (not to mention hypocritical) that I would agree to support some faith that I didn't share.

At the time, the person who asked was offended, saying that being a godparent was no big deal, and godparents really don't do anything anyway. (That seemed like a very odd thing to say, don't you think?)

Now, in retrospect, I think I made the right decision, but every now and then, I wonder how that kid turned out...

--Scott
I imagine that if you are thinking of the kid, you are probably called to pray for him in a particular way. Maybe you could add him to your daily intercessory prayers.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old Apr 27, '10, 6:09 pm
srlucado srlucado is offline
Regular Member
Book Club Member
 
Join Date: February 19, 2009
Posts: 1,647
Default Re: Declining offer of becoming a godparent?

Quote:
Originally Posted by leonie View Post
I imagine that if you are thinking of the kid, you are probably called to pray for him in a particular way. Maybe you could add him to your daily intercessory prayers.
Good suggestion. Thanks.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old Apr 27, '10, 9:46 pm
Magickman Magickman is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: March 2, 2008
Posts: 368
Religion: Catholic
Default Re: Declining offer of becoming a godparent?

It was many, many years ago. My brother and his then wife had a daughter, and he asked me to be the godfather.

At that time, I did not believe in the godparent relationship, so I declined.

Just as well, because his wife divorced him, and I never saw his daughter again.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old Apr 27, '10, 9:58 pm
Annabelle Marie's Avatar
Annabelle Marie Annabelle Marie is offline
Regular Member
 
Join Date: March 21, 2010
Posts: 2,800
Religion: Catholic-Finally Came Home!
Default Re: Declining offer of becoming a godparent?

For all of us who are godparents and don't think your godchild is in the faith....don't ever lose hope.

I think of my godmother...I left the church in my teens. I think of what she thought...what my grandma thought....and now 25 years later....I'm BACK! But they both have died never knowing that I came back. Maybe it was their prayers leading me back..who knows. Bottom line--never give up hope!

God Bless!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Go Back   Catholic Answers Forums > Forums > Catholic Living > Family Life

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search Thread
Search Thread:

Advanced Search
Display

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Prayer Intentions

Most Active Groups
8460Meet and talk,talk talk
Last by: Weejee
5147CAF Prayer Warriors Support Group
Last by: 77stanthony77
4424Devotion to the Sorrowful Mother
Last by: DesertSister62
4037OCD/Scrupulosity Group
Last by: eschator83
3863SOLITUDE
Last by: beth40n2
3742Let's empty Purgatory
Last by: daughterstm
3322Petitions Before the Blessed Sacrament
Last by: Amiciel
3285Poems and Reflections
Last by: tonyg
3224Catholic Vegetarians & Vegans
Last by: 4elise
3112For seniors and shut- ins
Last by: Kellyreneeomara



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 9:24 pm.

Home RSS Feeds - Home - Archive - Top

Copyright © 2004-2014, Catholic Answers.