Boyfriend vs Conscience?
Hello, Littleflower24 here,
Could I Please have your advice/Prayers?
I am going to be a sophomore in college this year, and have a wonderful boyfriend who seeks God and is a knight of Columbus. This is not a question of morality, so I am really confused. Through my life in high school, I sought the religious vocation until I was turned down by the order I wanted to go into, saying that I should consider College first. I have not dated anyone before Bryan either.
I have tried to make all these decisions following God, and wanting to know what He wants before me. I have tried to do this most though my conscience, and peace. Going to a really good Catholic College, I didn't know what, or who, awaited me. I no longer feel called to religious life, and so opened myself to the other vocations, though I do not think I am called to live alone (single life). Who was waiting was Bryan, who swept me off my feet pretty early on into college, and showed me what a gentleman and a Knight was supposed to be. In high school, two years prior to starting this relationship, I cut and almost killed myself. After God brought me back, counseling, and healing, I went to college. I met Bryan, who I told this all to. Since seventh grade I had an addiction to masturbation, and have finally stopped this habit, and I thank Bryan for helping me stop since he would hold me accountable. Bryan had had this addiction too, but more so to porn. We never slept together, although temptation does come. Bryan has since stopped, actually before me, both habits. Although our relationship can be scared, both knowing what we have done, and the consequences of hurting the other, we try to remain focused on God and want to grow in Love.
However, my conscience has been bothering me lately talking to him, being with him. This could be because I have homework I need to do that I have been putting off talking to him, but I want to make sure something isn't wrong. I don't really know what my conscience is saying, and I fear breaking up with him. If this relationship is focused on God, shouldn't it be good, and continue? Advice? (ps this is a long distance relationship we are not sure my dad fully aproves of yet, even though he says he does since he hasn't seen much of him)
Draw me after you, let us make haste. Song of Songs 1:4