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  #1  
Old Aug 10, '10, 9:49 pm
CDNowak CDNowak is offline
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Default Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

Interesting article on the differences.
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  #2  
Old Aug 11, '10, 4:46 am
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

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that is quite interesting
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  #3  
Old Aug 11, '10, 7:57 am
Jennifer J Jennifer J is offline
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

I'm disturbed that the mom of boys doesn't expect them to help in the kitchen!?

And while there are differences in boys and girls (I have both and can see it), they are not nearly as different as these families have made it. Plenty of girls like sports, argue, rough house, and so on. Just like there are boys who don't like sports, don't like to rough house, and so on. I think this shows MORE that parenting styles often focus various behaviors.
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  #4  
Old Aug 11, '10, 8:16 am
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

That was interesting.

But we only saw part of the picture. I think it'd be interesting to see how families which have same sex children deal with a mixed group and how families with mixed boys and girls deal with all the same sex.
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  #5  
Old Aug 11, '10, 8:49 am
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

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I'm disturbed that the mom of boys doesn't expect them to help in the kitchen!?
I'll bet she's married to a man who doesn't (or isn't much) help much in the kitchen.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer J View Post
And while there are differences in boys and girls (I have both and can see it), they are not nearly as different as these families have made it. Plenty of girls like sports, argue, rough house, and so on. Just like there are boys who don't like sports, don't like to rough house, and so on. I think this shows MORE that parenting styles often focus various behaviors.

I think what this shows is that households of single sex children possibly amplify the stereotypical behaviors of that sex, especially the stereotypical behaviors of the parents.
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  #6  
Old Aug 11, '10, 8:55 am
CDNowak CDNowak is offline
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

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Originally Posted by Jennifer J View Post
I'm disturbed that the mom of boys doesn't expect them to help in the kitchen!?

And while there are differences in boys and girls (I have both and can see it), they are not nearly as different as these families have made it. Plenty of girls like sports, argue, rough house, and so on. Just like there are boys who don't like sports, don't like to rough house, and so on. I think this shows MORE that parenting styles often focus various behaviors.
The contrast between a decidedly masculine house and a decidedly feminine one is very useful, particularly with the responses of the parents of the girls. Our society favors their approach (ie break up the fight, cooperative over competitive play), but it is not natural for boys or men.

"They [the boys] want to be on the go constantly and are madly competitive. Iíve taught my girls to collaborate and protect each otherís feelings. I tried the same technique with the boys - with disastrous results."
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  #7  
Old Aug 11, '10, 9:23 am
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

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I'll bet she's married to a man who doesn't (or isn't much) help much in the kitchen.
Guys can be taught to cook. But having 3 brothers and coming along later I can see why a mom of boys would ban them. They eat anything that's not tied down (and even things that are.) They do stupid things like trying to drink an entire gallon of milk in one sitting or will eat an entire pizza. Yes, guys can be taught to do those things but it isn't pretty and it isn't as nice as girls. I know families with three sisters and one brother and the difference is alot. I'd rather have 3 brothers...there's ALOT less drama. I can deal with fart jokes. Although in the families with girls they CAN get through a meal without talking about poo or other bodily functions something that I cannot attribute to my family.
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  #8  
Old Aug 11, '10, 11:12 am
SavedByHim SavedByHim is offline
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

This:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer J View Post
I think this shows MORE that parenting styles often focus various behaviors.
And this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by SMHW View Post
I think what this shows is that households of single sex children possibly amplify the stereotypical behaviors of that sex, especially the stereotypical behaviors of the parents.
are my thoughts exactly. The parents... not necessarily the inherent differences of girls vs. boys... dictated the large majority of the differences found in these 2 families.

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  #9  
Old Aug 11, '10, 11:39 am
Dale_M Dale_M is offline
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

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Originally Posted by SMHW View Post
I'll bet she's married to a man who doesn't (or isn't much) help much in the kitchen.
Yes, its pretty clear from what she wrote that she is a strong believer in traditional gender roles. No doubt she decided to marry a guy who fit her expectations about men, and the way they (should) behave.

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Originally Posted by SMHW View Post

I think what this shows is that households of single sex children possibly amplify the stereotypical behaviors of that sex, especially the stereotypical behaviors of the parents.
I think that is a very good point. If boys and girls live in a household, parents may be less likely to engage in stereotypical thinking about how boys or girls naturally behave.
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  #10  
Old Aug 11, '10, 12:03 pm
Em_in_FL Em_in_FL is offline
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

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Originally Posted by Jennifer J View Post
I'm disturbed that the mom of boys doesn't expect them to help in the kitchen!?
HA! That made me laugh! My cooking time in the kitchen is my solace! I kick my boys OUT because I want some "girly" time!
Don't get me wrong, I ask them to come in and clear off the table, set the table, etc... but COOKING??? NOPE - that's all MINE! Because I like it that way!

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I'll bet she's married to a man who doesn't (or isn't much) help much in the kitchen.
Maybe, or maybe it's more of a reflection of the mom. My DH used to cook more often, but I've taken on that role more and more simply because I WANTED to have the "girly/motherly" feeling of being the family cook.
Opposite of my mom, she always coerced my dad to do all the cooking!

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I think what this shows is that households of single sex children possibly amplify the stereotypical behaviors of that sex, especially the stereotypical behaviors of the parents.
Probably...

.......

This article was a great read... it definitely described the difference between my boys and daughter (even though she's only 2, I can totally see the emotional/girly side as described in the article)... My boys will go on a rampage of wrestling, and turn around and hug each other as if it were all out of love. Males are so bizarre... LOVE my boys!
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  #11  
Old Aug 11, '10, 12:33 pm
BrokenFortress BrokenFortress is offline
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

I agree that this doesn't really say much about having boys vs. girls as it is going to vary greatly on the person. Not all girls are noisy, need to be heard and love shopping. At the same time not all boys are competitive, always respectful etc.

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  #12  
Old Aug 11, '10, 1:06 pm
gardenswithkids gardenswithkids is offline
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

I have to show my husband this article!!!!

Having just recently returned from a vacation, (which I once again found anything but relaxing) this quote explains something similar to what I go through on just about every vacation:
Quote:

Our Devon beach holidays always follow the same pattern. I lie on a lounger, bask in the sun and try to relax. But I just canít - instead Iím a bundle of nerves.
High above me, my boys are jumping from rock to rock. Whooping with excitement, they are vying to see who can jump the furthest, totally oblivious to danger.
Theyíre having the time of their lives. But as their mum Iím fighting the urge to shout up and order them down to safety.
Meanwhile, husband Steve is cool as cucumber. ĎYou have to let them do it,í he says firmly. In fact, more often than not, heís up there with them.
I loved that comment! It made me feel normal again. I thought I was just turning into a big grump since I find vacations so very stressful and exhausting.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dale_M View Post
Yes, its pretty clear from what she wrote that she is a strong believer in traditional gender roles. No doubt she decided to marry a guy who fit her expectations about men, and the way they (should) behave.


I think that is a very good point. If boys and girls live in a household, parents may be less likely to engage in stereotypical thinking about how boys or girls naturally behave.
Engage in stereotypical thinking??? How about we have living proof that there are reasons behind the stereotypes--while we can still realize that not everyone fits exactly into the stereotypes because every child is a unique individual.

I spent most of my parenting years raising boys--and only boys. After boy number three, I started to question all I had learned about "non-sexist child rearing." (and yes, I really tried that.) Yet, my sons had instincts that were completely foreign to me--and the pattern continued boy after boy. I have girls now too. There's a difference--and it's not just in their diapers and/or my stereo-typically female head.

As to the mom with boys not expecting them to help in the kitchen--note the word "help". Sometimes it's far easier for mom (or dad) to do certain household jobs herself (or himself) than to do it with "help" from children. We might teach household skills, but not everyone calls such experiences "help." It takes a lot of teaching investment before the pay off where it actually become helpful. When my children come in the kitchen and offer to "help" me cook, I don't turn them away, but won't go looking for it everynight. If a child is playing happily and keeping the younger children occupied too, GREAT! I can get most of the household chores done much faster that way than when everyone falls all over each other in the kitchen and argues about who gets to do what. (Ah, the joys of parenting and cooking with highly competitive persons!)
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  #13  
Old Aug 11, '10, 2:13 pm
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

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Engage in stereotypical thinking??? How about we have living proof that there are reasons behind the stereotypes--while we can still realize that not everyone fits exactly into the stereotypes because every child is a unique individual.
I don't know that anyone questions that there are definite differences between boys and girls. And when it comes to teaching kids to help with chores I don't know that either sex is naturally more helpful so parents might just as soon not have the "help".

But in the case of families with mixed gender children I think that the kids themselves tend to influence parents not to restrict chores (or fun activities) by gender. The girls usually complain if brothers don't have to clean up the kitchen but instead get to wash the car. And if the boys are busy vacuuming the floor then the parents are more likely to have the sisters go mow the lawn or take out the trash. Since mixed gender children tend play in mixed groups of siblings and friends I think there is a certain amount of "extreme behavior" on both ends of the sex spectrum that is naturally policed.
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  #14  
Old Aug 11, '10, 5:05 pm
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

I just have one question related to the topic--why are there so few boys in the sport of figure skating?

It's a shame--they can make excellent money once they are teenagers and have passed the higher-level ice dancing tests. When my daughters were teenagers, there was a boy who spent most of his weekends flying to various rinks around the Midwest and partnering dozens of girls and women for their ice dancing tests. He would make over a thousand dollars in one Saturday's work (about 8 hours), and the skating clubs paid all his expenses, including his plane fare.

This isn't enough to get boys involved with the sport?! I don't get it. Sure beats mowing lawns or slinging burgers or detassling corn. A THOUSAND DOLLARS to spend eight hours holding beautiful young girls and women in skimpy outfits close. No brainer here.

BTW, we practice what we rail about! My husband has an ice dance partner and skate 6-7 days a week. And we pay for our nephew to take figure skating lessons, and hope that he will continue in the sport. He's noticed that there aren't a lot of boys in the sport, but he also knows that skaters like Evan Lysacek are darned good athletes!

We had two girls, BTW, and it was a good fit for both of us.
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  #15  
Old Aug 11, '10, 5:26 pm
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Default Re: Raising Boys vs Raising Girls

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I just have one question related to the topic--why are there so few boys in the sport of figure skating?
I can't speak to figure skating but my son quit gymnastics when he got to high school age in order to pursue weight lifting/body building. (He was a skinny guy who probably had more upper body strength than many of the American football player types who were twice his bulk. ...There was no money for him to make in gymnastics.)

My guess is that spending time with pretty girls is nice but not so important as impressing the the other boys with one's manliness. And figure skating is thought of primarily as a "women's" sport, as is gymnastics.
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