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  #1  
Old Apr 9, '05, 6:03 pm
nicoleanne nicoleanne is offline
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Default Getting rid of a habitual sin

Hello all-

I am in a relationship with a wonderful man whom I love dearly, and am hoping to get suggestions to help him with a particular struggle of his. For many years he has been dealing with the sin of masturbation, and he had begun to really make progress with it recently. He has been going to confession weekly and is sleeping on the floor to discipline himself. The other day, however, he backslid. I am offering up everything I can for him (prayer, fasting, and I'm sleeping on the floor as well), but I am wondering if there is anything else he or I could do? He really hates the attachment he has to this sin, and wants it desperately out of his life, but is feeling discouraged and wondering if it is possible to quit.

Any ideas?
  #2  
Old Apr 9, '05, 6:18 pm
demolitionman65 demolitionman65 is offline
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Default Re: Getting rid of a habitual sin

At the risk of being nosy. . . why are you sleeping on the floor? Is this a means of sharing personal discomfort. . .like a hair shirt? (I am assuming you are not married and are not sharing a bedroom)

As far as his habit goes, the habit is very difficult to break. I find regular confession (as he is doing) one of the best remedies.
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  #3  
Old Apr 9, '05, 6:20 pm
nicoleanne nicoleanne is offline
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Default Re: Getting rid of a habitual sin

No, we are neither married nor living together.

I'm sleeping on the floor for a couple of reasons. 1. Solidarity, and 2. So that I may offer up that discomfort for him.
  #4  
Old Apr 9, '05, 6:26 pm
Brain Brain is offline
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Default Re: Getting rid of a habitual sin

I find that the thoughts tend to lead to the actions, so I think of some specific prayer to say during those occasions. The prayer around the rim of the miraculous medal works, (O holy mary concieved without sin pray for us who have recourse to thee). or the intro psalm of the LOTH (O god come to my assisstance, O lord make haste to help me)
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  #5  
Old Apr 9, '05, 7:29 pm
demolitionman65 demolitionman65 is offline
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Default Re: Getting rid of a habitual sin

Quote:
I'm sleeping on the floor for a couple of reasons. 1. Solidarity, and 2. So that I may offer up that discomfort for him.
Awesome!!!

I tell you, if he is intent on kicking the habit, has a true desire to stop, is praying and confessing (both to a priest and to you) I expect that he will -in the end- conquer this.

Like any habit, be prepared for occasional lapses. But if it's 3 steps-forward-2 steps-back (or better), things will get fixed!
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  #6  
Old Apr 10, '05, 3:36 pm
martino martino is offline
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Default Re: Getting rid of a habitual sin

You both sound as if you are doing everything right. Just keep doing what you are already doing and most of all do not get discouraged....that is the devil's way of breaking him. Satan knows that if he gets discouraged he will likely fall back into sin.
  #7  
Old Apr 10, '05, 3:52 pm
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joamyred joamyred is offline
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Default Re: Getting rid of a habitual sin

I'm new to this forum... . Just wanted to say thank you for all your posts. You have given me a huge amount of encourgement over some stuff (ok, Sin) that I have been dealing with. Sometimes it's easy to think I am the only one dealing with an ongoing issues. Thanks!!!!!!!
  #8  
Old Apr 10, '05, 4:55 pm
LionHeart1981 LionHeart1981 is offline
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Default Re: Getting rid of a habitual sin

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicoleanne
Hello all-

I am in a relationship with a wonderful man whom I love dearly, and am hoping to get suggestions to help him with a particular struggle of his. For many years he has been dealing with the sin of masturbation, and he had begun to really make progress with it recently. He has been going to confession weekly and is sleeping on the floor to discipline himself. The other day, however, he backslid. I am offering up everything I can for him (prayer, fasting, and I'm sleeping on the floor as well), but I am wondering if there is anything else he or I could do? He really hates the attachment he has to this sin, and wants it desperately out of his life, but is feeling discouraged and wondering if it is possible to quit.

Any ideas?
Nicole,

May the love of Our Father permeate his heart!

Just a few suggestions, that I've found helpful myself.

Laugh, laugh and laugh.

Don't let this get him down! The Lord is understanding, and knows his heart. Im confident the Lord would be well pleased with his efforts to overcome.

In regular confession, this dearly helps overcome the addiction, however, can I encourage, if he is not already doing so; to make sure he says the same priest, ie - a confessor or perhaps even a spiritual director who can help him work through these issues?

Also, if he is in the time of temptation, encourage him to let you hold him accountable, or perhaps a close male friend.

Lastly, he should journal and try and ascertain the root causes of these problems. Often they are loneliness, tiredness, anxiety and stress.

Doing all this will increase his ability to overcome this "thorn in the flesh".

Peace,
Lionheart
  #9  
Old Nov 15, '07, 10:19 am
jamel jamel is offline
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Default Re: Getting rid of a habitual sin

Quote:
Originally Posted by demolitionman65 View Post
Awesome!!!

I tell you, if he is intent on kicking the habit, has a true desire to stop, is praying and confessing (both to a priest and to you) I expect that he will -in the end- conquer this.

Like any habit, be prepared for occasional lapses. But if it's 3 steps-forward-2 steps-back (or better), things will get fixed!
  #10  
Old Nov 15, '07, 11:21 am
Ramalama Ramalama is offline
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Default Re: Getting rid of a habitual sin

Tell him to keep a crucifix nearby. He feels tempted, he should stare at it.

If he uses a computer for access to "visual aids", hang a crucifix on the display.

Tell him to memorize

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.


At the first thought that may lead to a failure, start saying the prayer. If he's noticed his ahem, body "become ready", say the St. Michael prayer until he completely returns to normal.

He should never "entertain" the thought.

If you're responsible for getting him aroused any time at all, stop! It's not helping.

I'm convinced this problem is impossible to address without help. With the church and saints, it actually becomes easy. God bless you both.

Last edited by Ramalama; Nov 15, '07 at 11:22 am. Reason: Removed one of many tupos
  #11  
Old Nov 15, '07, 8:34 pm
Lazerlike42 Lazerlike42 is offline
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Default Re: Getting rid of a habitual sin

Check out the advice that I and others gave in the thread in this moral theology forum called, "Tempted by pornography." I have a few very long posts there, and this is the advice I would give to him.
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  #12  
Old Nov 17, '07, 12:54 pm
Julian Peters Julian Peters is offline
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Posts: 2,431
Default Re: Getting rid of a habitual sin

Thank you to all who have participated. This thread is now closed.
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