Help For a Friend Leaving the Church

Joy Therese · #1 Oct 20, '10, 6:32 pm

Hello Everyone,
I had coffee with an old friend--whom I have always believed to be a strong and faithful Catholic--this morning, and he told me that he has left the Church.
As you can imagine, I felt as though my heart had been drop-kicked into a brick wall; though I have felt something wasn't quite right with him for the past few months, I never expected anything like this. He told me he felt Catholicism had "served its purpose" in his life, and that God, or "the deity" as he put it, is now calling him to become a pagan.
This man was raised a Christmas and Easter protestant, and became Catholic in middle school despite much anti-Catholic prejudice (several people told him he was going to hell for converting, etc.) and grew by leaps and bounds throughout high school, during which time he discerned God's call to the priesthood. I met him during our sophomore year of high school, and since then he has always been a big brother in faith for me.
I've been praying about this and, so far, I think God's response is that He is still with my friend, and is using/will use this poor choice for my friend's good and for the greater glory of the Lord. However, it is still extremely troubling to me, especially because my friend also confessed to me that he has begun smoking and occasionally doing drugs (which he don't believe harm him). Furthermore, he said he's begun participating in spells and rituals, intends to become a pagan priest. He said that it's no different than praying to the saints or celebrating Mass, and that it's just another way to express faith. He did, thankfully, say that he still respects the Catholic faith and won't become a "Christian hater".
While I certainly respect his free will, I am having trouble respecting this decision and am genuinely worried for his spiritual (not to mention physical!) well-being. I am beginning a novena to Our Lady of Perpetual Help, Saint Therese of Liseux, and Saint Augustine, and am trying to let go and trust in God's Goodness.

Does anyone have any advice, encouragement, ideas, prayers, and/or experience in this area? Any comments (and additions to your prayer lists) are much appreciated.
Thank you all, and may God bless you abundantly and shower you with graces.

In Christ and Our Lady,
Joy

bkayw · #2 Oct 20, '10, 7:23 pm

Called to be a pagan - where the women dance naked around the full moons - and the men smile in gratitude for radical feminism.

3DOCTORS · #3 Oct 20, '10, 7:29 pm

Will pray for your friend

-- and if it helps, see the group I started, Tiber River Lifeboat Patrol for just this kind of thing. Hopefully we can get some prayers started for all who find the Church and then want to leave for reasons that make sense to them at the time -- for whatever spiritual battles they are fighting that we can't see on the surface.

bkayw · #4 Oct 20, '10, 7:35 pm

"...begun smoking and occasionally doing drugs."

If you don't mind my asking, which occasional drugs?

challam2010 · #5 Oct 20, '10, 7:40 pm

Praying for him and simply waiting for his choices to be proven empty to him are about all I'd recommend.

Pointing out his obvious errors may make him even more rebellious and determined to pursue his new interests beyond their novelty. It sounds like he's experienced some variety in his spirituality thus far and may just be the type of person who seeks new approaches and experiences out of simple curiosity.

He won't find what he's looking for, and he may prove to himself that those pursuits are worthless (something he may not take another's word for).

God is infinite mercy, infinite kindness and love and desires a relationship with us. If your friend is sincerely seeking God, he will find Him sooner or later. Many of us wander away from the right path, only to be invited back again and again.

Your prayers can help, as can your patience.

Edward H · #6 Oct 20, '10, 8:25 pm

Pray for him daily.

Over time ask him if he's found that paganism helps him serve others more generously and quietly. Are his relations across the board improving a lot..in their sincerity, simplicity, and generosity. Is he more able to self-forget and self-donate, without counting. Can he give himself in the 11th hour more cheerfully?

If he's not connecting with God, his relations will grow more selfish.

Joy Therese · #7 Oct 21, '10, 10:03 am

Thank you all so much for your prayers and help!
As for the (illegal) drugs he's doing, I'm not entirely sure but, whatever they are, they can't be good for him!
3Doctors, I will definitely check out your group; it sounds wonderful.
God bless you all and may the Blessed Mother lead us all to her Son,
Joy