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  #1  
Old Dec 27, '10, 9:54 pm
luv2adore luv2adore is offline
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Default Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

My sister-in-law just asked her girlfriend to marry her and they are excited about planning a wedding. They are aware of my views on the subject, but still asked if I would attend. I have told them I love them both but can not agree to the life style choice. What should I do or say so as not to offend them and the rest of the family who all seem very supportive?:
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  #2  
Old Dec 27, '10, 10:13 pm
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Crusading Canuk Crusading Canuk is offline
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

You are in a tough postiton here. But in going to the "marriage" or congratulating them on it you would be giving consent to it. You should not worry about not offending them by being true to your beliefs. You cannot bend and compromise your beliefs to suit others then you would be a hypocryte. Just be honest and ask the to respect your beliefs if they love you, they will. Also I assume you agree with the Churches teaching on homosexual acts, because if you do, know that those being supportive may have "good intentions" and as the old saying goes, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". Still love your sister but is asked be a good whitness of the Faith to them by being honest.
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  #3  
Old Dec 27, '10, 10:35 pm
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AdriannaJean AdriannaJean is offline
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

While the Church hasn't declared that attending a same sex "marriage" ceremony is sinful, they have said that they cannot recommend attending. If you do feel like your presence is necessary, then to make sure that by attending you are not condoning the "marriage" or sexual relationship, take your sister and her girlfriend aside and explain to them that, while you are attending, you are attending to support them personally and that you cannot condone the "marriage" due to your beliefs. That strikes me as a decent compromise so as to avoid irreparable family rifts.
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  #4  
Old Dec 28, '10, 12:19 am
Apollos Apollos is offline
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

Quote:
Originally Posted by AdriannaJean View Post
While the Church hasn't declared that attending a same sex "marriage" ceremony is sinful, they have said that they cannot recommend attending. If you do feel like your presence is necessary, then to make sure that by attending you are not condoning the "marriage" or sexual relationship, take your sister and her girlfriend aside and explain to them that, while you are attending, you are attending to support them personally and that you cannot condone the "marriage" due to your beliefs. That strikes me as a decent compromise so as to avoid irreparable family rifts.
I disagree. She would have to take every person who sees her at the ceremony aside and give the same explanation. In the case of a marriage - or attempted marriage, to be more precise - presence always equals endorsement.
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  #5  
Old Dec 28, '10, 7:18 am
1ke 1ke is online now
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

Quote:
Originally Posted by luv2adore View Post
My sister-in-law just asked her girlfriend to marry her and they are excited about planning a wedding. They are aware of my views on the subject, but still asked if I would attend. I have told them I love them both but can not agree to the life style choice. What should I do or say so as not to offend them and the rest of the family who all seem very supportive?:
A Catholic cannot attend such an event.

You have already explained your position. You need say nothing more. Simply decline the invitation if you receive one.
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ke's universal disclaimer: In my posts, when I post about marriage, canon law, or sacraments I am talking about Latin Rite only, not the Orthodox and Eastern Rites. These are exceptions that confuse the issue and I am not talking about those.
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  #6  
Old Dec 28, '10, 8:06 am
noclevername noclevername is offline
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

Just out of curiosity, where does it actually say that a Catholic cannot attend that event?
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  #7  
Old Dec 28, '10, 9:46 am
KCT KCT is offline
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

Quote:
Originally Posted by luv2adore View Post
I have told them I love them both but can not agree to the life style choice. What should I do or say so as not to offend them and the rest of the family who all seem very supportive?:
Either you compromise and offend yourself or they get offended. There is no way to not offend someone. We make choices and live with the consequences.
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  #8  
Old Dec 28, '10, 9:47 am
Apollos Apollos is offline
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

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Originally Posted by noclevername View Post
Just out of curiosity, where does it actually say that a Catholic cannot attend that event?
Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give Legal Recognition to Unions Between Homosexual Persons (28 March 2003), 5:
Quote:
In those situations where homosexual unions have been legally recognized or have been given the legal status and rights belonging to marriage, clear and emphatic opposition is a duty. One must refrain from any kind of formal cooperation in the enactment or application of such gravely unjust laws and, as far as possible, from material cooperation on the level of their application. In this area, everyone can exercise the right to conscientious objection.
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  #9  
Old Dec 28, '10, 3:27 pm
MtnDwellar MtnDwellar is offline
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1ke View Post
A Catholic cannot attend such an event.
The Vatican statement does not say that a Catholic cannot attend.
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  #10  
Old Dec 28, '10, 3:41 pm
noclevername noclevername is offline
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony


But where does it say Catholics cannot attend? I read the entire article, which is not law but just an article, and it doesn't say it.
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  #11  
Old Dec 28, '10, 4:35 pm
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Nanny PK Nanny PK is offline
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

My family faced this very situation. My niece went to Massachussetts and "married" her girlfriend. None of our family attended.

My family has always been polite to the girlfriend; however, we cannot agree with the choice. As a result my niece has basically cut off all contact with the family -- there are other issues that go back years so this, in her mind, was probably the straw that broke the camel's back.

It is very painful for my sister but my niece has chosen to distance herself and she is welcome back at any time. We just continue to pray for her and wait for her to overcome her anger.
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  #12  
Old Dec 28, '10, 7:34 pm
Deacon2006 Deacon2006 is offline
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

Gay marriage is a public endorsement of a sin worthy of eternal damnation. Under no circumstances should a catholic attend such a degenerate and disordered event.

Do you really think the ones who intend to be the centre of attention at this public flogging of the will of God do not know what they are doing? Do you really believe that God has not written on their hearts the truth of the evil they have engaged? They want to spread the guilt around, it makes what they are doing feel less evil to them. Rationalization and justification of evil acts is the wide path of many witnesses and collaborators, and the false comfort of everyone is doing it.

Yes they will resent the fact you do not go to their sin festival but God will Bless you because you are reviled for His sake.

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  #13  
Old Dec 28, '10, 7:44 pm
Charlotte1776 Charlotte1776 is offline
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

By attending the ceremony, you are publicly giving your consent to their false union. You would also be endorsing all homosexual relationships as valid by extension. As you have realized, this is not something you can do as a Christian because it flies in the face of God's design for men, women, and marriage. Marriage is the foundation of society, and these false unions are not to be taken lightly. Every person who endoreses one is chipping away at the bedrock of the civilization - the family.

I think by telling your family member you love them but can't support their "marriage" and attend their ceremony, you have done the best you can. I really hope they do not hold it against you, but if they do it is part of the cross we are all called to carry when we follow Jesus. Sometimes we have to ruffle feathers when the alternative is to go against God.
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  #14  
Old Dec 28, '10, 7:46 pm
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wanner47 wanner47 is offline
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

Quote:
Originally Posted by noclevername View Post
But where does it say Catholics cannot attend? I read the entire article, which is not law but just an article, and it doesn't say it.
He quoted it:

Quote:
In those situations where homosexual unions have been legally recognized or have been given the legal status and rights belonging to marriage, clear and emphatic opposition is a duty. One must refrain from any kind of formal cooperation in the enactment or application of such gravely unjust laws and, as far as possible, from material cooperation on the level of their application. In this area, everyone can exercise the right to conscientious objection.
Emphasis mine.
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  #15  
Old Dec 28, '10, 7:48 pm
cmscms cmscms is offline
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Default Re: Is wrong to attend a same-sex marriage ceramony

I would simply RSVP no and leave it at that. If they ask why then I would say that my religious beliefs will not allow me. I find it odd you are concerned about offending them when they apparently couln`t care less about offending you

CM
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