Sloth

[mellowgold]

I don't want to be punished for sloth, but I find it so very hard, almost impossible, to get out of bed in the morning if I don't have to, and to do what needs to be done as well as I can. I feel that I am just trying to maintain by being still and calm. I have been working harder on getting up and doing more, and am having panic attacks again. I wonder sometimes if it really is sloth. Maybe I am acting this way to save my own head, so I won't have another nervous breakdown. Or maybe I have to try harder, work harder, and then I will break through it. I want to please God but I don't want to lose my mind.

[donsnow]

Originally Posted by mellowgold

I don't want to be punished for sloth, but I find it so very hard, almost impossible, to get out of bed in the morning if I don't have to, and to do what needs to be done as well as I can. I feel that I am just trying to maintain by being still and calm. I have been working harder on getting up and doing more, and am having panic attacks again. I wonder sometimes if it really is sloth. Maybe I am acting this way to save my own head, so I won't have another nervous breakdown. Or maybe I have to try harder, work harder, and then I will break through it. I want to please God but I don't want to lose my mind.

Hi, mellowgold,

I'm not bi-polar, so I can't compare my condition to yours. However, I learned a prayer from Jesus in the Gospel. He and his disciples were walking along, and there was this Pharisee standing at the street, praying aloud a very elegant and beautiful prayer. The disciples were impressed and pointed the Pharisee out to Jesus, making admiring comments about the prayer he was praying. At the end of Jesus' reply, which criticized the prayer of the Pharisee, Jesus pointed to a poor man at the Temple wall, who was beating his breast and crying, "God, have mercy on me a sinner."
Jesus said that little prayer was justified in His Heavenly Father's eyes.

I would reccomend, when you are failing to arise, to pray for God to have mercy on you. And, don't forget to add, "...a sinner."
Then, whether or not you get up, you may find justification in His eyes.
You can pray that prayer all the time, for any occasion, too.

God loves you,
Don

[sheilakathy]

I've been dealing with this on and off all my life, it hits the hardest when we are in the lower polar, of course. But it can in a way almost be as bad when I am in the manic stage and I am so keyed up that I can't stay focused on any one thing for long. I start with one project, get distracted off into another and so on until I have a bunch of half-done things all around.

There are piles of things I started sortingyesterday, some I never got back to.

I did the dishes, but then I found a bunch of them around the house and when I collected them, the sink is already half full again.

So it goes...

SK