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  #1  
Old May 16, '05, 12:18 am
joyfilledlife joyfilledlife is offline
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Default I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

Hey people. i always on my mind have the thaught of confessing my mastrubation, but never have the guts to do so.

Actually i dont know what to precisely say to the priest...what words to use...

can someone help
  #2  
Old May 16, '05, 12:59 am
JKirkLVNV JKirkLVNV is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

"I have sinned against chastity by the sin of masturbation x times." I'd be willing to bet the priests hears about this sin in confession more than any other. You shouldn't worry.
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  #3  
Old May 16, '05, 1:25 am
tuopaolo tuopaolo is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

If you are embarrassed to say the word masturbation to the priest, you can say something like this instead as long as the nature of the sin (masturbation) is still clear: "I have sinned alone against chastity x times" or "I have committed impure acts with myself x times" etc. But don't let it be ambiguous like "I did impure things x times" -- that wouldn't let the priest know what the sin is.

But as Kirk said, the priest has probably heard the sin confessed many times by many people so don't be afraid to just name the sin with the word masturbation.
  #4  
Old May 16, '05, 2:02 am
Michael T. Michael T. is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

Masturbation is also called self-abuse. Sometimes it is easier for people to say they commit the sin of self-abuse than to say masturbation.

It can also be called solitary sin, or a solitary sin against chastity.

Also, remember that in confession we must not only say the specific type of sin (species) but also the number of times we fell into that sin.

If the sin was while looking at impure pictures or video images, this should also be mentioned.

As with all sexual sins, one should never be graphic or overly detailed. What matters is listing the species of sin, and the number of times the sin was performed.

It is also important to add factors that modify the sin, for example if someone is married (meaning that their sin wasn't just fornication, but adultery), if the penitent is a priest or religious, engaged, in the habit of a particular sin, if the act was alone ore with others, if the penitent caused others to sin or tempted others, if the activity was with someone of the same gender, if the action involved a minor or a relative, etc.

Say what you did and how many times you did it in a clinical way and then honestly answer any questions the priest has. No explicit details!

It can also be helpful to let the priest know if you were drinking or under the influence of medication (or illegal drugs).

For your own sake, you should pay attention to the times you fall into this sin. Is it when you are idle too long? When you are stressed? After watching suggestive television shows or movies or listening to suggestive music? Perhaps it is after being with someone you are attracted to?

You get the point.

If a priest tries to tell you that masturbation is healthy or normal or not considered a sin any more, know that he is wrong and not in line with Rome on the matter. Don't bother arguing. It won't help. List other sins and get absolution, but try to confess to a Catholic priest who is actually faithful to Church teaching in the future, i.e. actually Catholic.

It may be that the priest says that your sin was not mortal because it didn't involve sufficient reflection or full consent. That may be true.

But if they tell you that it is okay to commit the sin of self-abuse and that it's common, normal, or healthy, avoid that priest.

As for being embarrassed, besides the fact that solitary sin is probably one of the most commonly confessed sins, it is better to be uncomfortable for a minute or two than to lose your soul and suffer forever. It would be silly to trade your eternity just to avoid emotional discomfort. Besides, I seriously doubt the priest is going to flip out and browbeat a sincere penitent Catholic in the sacrament. If they do give you a bit of a hard time, it isnít meant to humiliate you, but to help you.

Get it off your conscience! Get to confession! Itís important to your eternity.

Finally, every time we confess our sins and deliberately neglect to confess a serious sin we are conscious of having committed, none of the sins confessed are forgiven, and the confession itself is a sin of sacrilege. If we walk into the confessional with four serious sins to confess, and we deliberately withhold one sin in the confession, we walk out of the confessional with five serious sins: the original four, plus the added sin of sacrilege.

Donít leave out serious sins on purpose. Just spit them out and be done with them! Better to be uncomfortable now than to burn forever!

Above all, remember that Jesus loves you and wants you back. He is calling you to the sacrament of reconciliation in order to draw you closer to Himself and lead you to heaven. He is there in the sacrament, ready to pour out an ocean of mercy and work the miracle of bringing a soul dead through sin back to life. There is no sin we can commit that God canít forgive. Nothing is more powerful than God. If we think He canít forgive us, we believe we are capable of sinning in a way that id more powerful than His mercy.

Remember that we have to actually be sorry for the sin and resolve to avoid the sin in the future. We have to have a firm purpose of amending our lives. If we intend to sin again, we canít be forgiven. We may know we might fall again, but we have to be making an effort, and we should go to confession as often as we fall. Those are signs that our hearts are in the right place.
  #5  
Old May 16, '05, 4:14 am
springbreeze springbreeze is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

Dear friend

Jesus already knows the sin you have committed and it is Jesus you are confessing your sorrow and intention not to repeat this sin to in the confessional. It is Jesus' absolution you are seeking and the Priest is 'another Christ' this is why he says 'I absolve you...' So express your true sorrow for this sin verbally and then simply state the sin without going into any detail. You cannot shock the Priest, he's heard it a million times before.

Say a little prayer to the Holy Spirit before you go into the confessional that He will give you Courage to make a good and frank confession. It's the Holy Spirit that guides your spirit to the confessional and convicts your conscience, so pray to Him and He will give you Courage, you've got nothing to worry about or fear.

You are in my prayers for a good confession.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
  #6  
Old May 16, '05, 5:04 am
TheGarg TheGarg is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

Sex was intended for one thing. marriage. to pro-create and for expression of love between man and wife.

When you abuse yourself, you lust, which by the way is one of the seven deadly sins.

I am not being self rightous, since 99.9% of all people are guilty of this sin, at one time or another. I am just equating how it is a sin for you.
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Last edited by Anne Carmel; Jun 9, '05 at 10:04 pm. Reason: quoted deleted post
  #7  
Old May 16, '05, 6:00 am
trailblazer trailblazer is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

You are not alone in giving in to such desires on occasion. Satan will find many ways to tempt us and usually works in areas where we are weakest. However, Satan likes operating out of sight, unobserved, where he can continue to corupt us. Confession and spiritual counsel places him in plain sight throught not only our revealing his actions but by shedding the light of Christ on them and being empowered through Christ's grace to fight him. St. Ignatius says that Satan can be likened to a man invited to a home and who tries to seduce the man's wife...when the wife reveals what this person did...he flees!

So, take courage and do not be afraid to speak plainly to the priest; realize that you are actually talking with the one who loves you more than anyone else, Christ. It is him who we have sinned against. Yet, he loves so much that no matter how often we ask his forgiveness, he readily forgives. He is the one who loved and defended the woman caught in adultry who everyone wanted to stone to death; he does the same for me everytime I commit adultry against him through sin (this is why we must not take advise from those who take the attitude that if something feels good, we should do it). His love and compassion helps you and I strive to return his love and faithfulness.

Also, when you go to confession, hopefully you get spiritual direction as well. Thus, talking plainly and clearly will help you receive the best direction. You should ask for this and find a priest you trust to really help you.

Even in bringing this area to this forum has been a geat blessing for yourself, but us as well because there are many of us too embarrassed to be so honest even with those we don't know. You have given us counsel as well and caused us to examine our conscience. God bless you!

Love & peace in Christ,
Bob
  #8  
Old May 16, '05, 6:02 am
joshua1 joshua1 is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JKirkLVNV
"I have sinned against chastity by the sin of masturbation x times." I'd be willing to bet the priests hears about this sin in confession more than any other. You shouldn't worry.

You are so right. I had a priest tell me that. He also said that the ages of the penitents ranged from preteens to persons into their 80's.
  #9  
Old May 16, '05, 6:10 am
Lux_et_veritas Lux_et_veritas is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

Impurity issues of all kinds are on the rise and its no wonder with the sexually explicit content in commercials, programming, magazines, and complete lack of modesty in dress. I feel bad for todays kids with the kinds of temptations they cannot get away from.

One thing I will tell you is that if you are aware that you have committed a grave sin and do not confess it, then it invalidates your confession. That having been said, go to confession, knowing there is nothing you can say that the priest has already heard a hundred times over. Also, if you feel it has gone from an occassional sin, to a bad habit of a few times a month, or to an addiction that is happening daily or almost daily, then tell him, for your own good. He can give you ideas and help you.

I can also tell you that you have to understand where the temptations are coming from. They will always be with you and when you least expect, but you have to remove the things that fuel them, especially early on. Turn off the TV or the Computer or if you must, use an internet filter that will make it a pain to turn off, until you get better control if web-porn is an easy left turn for you. The images you see will remain in your mind for days and weeks, further fueling temptation. Therefore, if you are viewing an porn, it needs to stop. If you have an addiction to that, we have ideas for you there too.

Learn why the Church feels that this is sinful. If you really think about it, is it possible to engage in this activity without fornicating in your mind? If not, then it almost always involves fornication or adultery in the case of married people. If you are married, in essence you are cheating on your spouse by satisfying yourself. And lastly, in choosing your desires over the Lords, you are cheating on him as well. Try to think of it that way.

I can't think of many people that have not started this and didn't have it increase in frequency with time and then lead to other things. It needs to be nipped early and if it has gone on for a while, may need more help from a priest by being forthright that it is a bad habit or an addiction. The most important thing, unless you have a psychological disorder or have been abused sexually, is to take responsibility for it yourself. When you find yourself on the lower rungs of the ladder of temptation, stop and get off. Don't dwell there because you will be tempted to climb up another step. Getting to the top rungs is certain to cause you to fall.

If you should fall, get back up, go back to confession and tell father not only that it happened again, but tell him about that one opportunity you had to turn and didn't. This is part of accepting that it is you who must turn it around.

Don't ever fall to hopelessness should it get difficult. Guilt is a sign the Lord is there and inviting you to come to him through a priest and tell him what ails you. Don't think that priests and nuns never have impure thoughts or never have to battle impurity. All are human and you will get the most from your confession if you are completely honest with yourself and with Father.
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  #10  
Old May 16, '05, 6:14 am
Lux_et_veritas Lux_et_veritas is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

I mean to say in the earlier part of my statement above, to make sure you tell Father that you did not mention this in previous confessions and that you had full knowledge of it at the time. There is a name for this sin and it escapes me so someone give us the name.

It's ok - just do it! The Lord waits for you!!!
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  #11  
Old May 16, '05, 11:12 am
wcknight wcknight is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

The priest has heard them all especially this one. No matter how embarrassing it may be, just blurt it out. Do not make any attempt to hid anything, such an attempt is an even more serious sin than masturbation.

Any of the following will do:

I have commited impure sexual acts by myself,

I am guilty of the sin of masturbation,

I have sinned against chastity by committing impure acts by myself.

The priest will definitely know what you are talking about. And if he doesn't, he will ask for clarification which they almost never do.

One mistake many of us make, is to think that we are the only big time sinners around. We are not. Only Jesus is perfect, so don't let guilt get the better of you.

Christ's Peace.
  #12  
Old May 16, '05, 7:24 pm
Sir Knight Sir Knight is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

  1. Quote:
    Originally Posted by joyfilledlife
    what words to use
    It has been X days/weeks/months since my last confession and I have offended God by committing sins of inpurity WITH MYSELF; engaging in unclean thoughts and actions including the sin of masturbation X times.

  2. Quote:
    Originally Posted by Michael T.
    ... remember that in confession we must not only say the specific type of sin (species) but also the number of times we fell into that sin ...
    What happens if you are honestly unsure of the number of times that you committed a certain offense? Would saying "a few times" or "numerous times" be acceptable as long as it accurately described the number of times?

  3. Quote:
    Originally Posted by Michael T.
    ... every time we confess our sins and deliberately neglect to confess a serious sin we are conscious of having committed, none of the sins confessed are forgiven, and the confession itself is a sin of sacrilege. If we walk into the confessional with four serious sins to confess, and we deliberately withhold one sin in the confession, we walk out of the confessional with five serious sins: the original four, plus the added sin of sacrilege ...
    This is a very important point -- when a person INTENTIONALLY fails to confess a mortal sin, the entire confession becomes invalid and none of the sins are forgiven.

  4. Quote:
    Originally Posted by ihatemissies
    ... i love masterbating - and have never ever thought of it as a sin ...
    Sadly, I once had a priest tell me the same thing during confession and he was the director religious studies at a seminary.
  #13  
Old May 16, '05, 7:34 pm
ImperialPhoenix ImperialPhoenix is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lux_et_veritas
I mean to say in the earlier part of my statement above, to make sure you tell Father that you did not mention this in previous confessions and that you had full knowledge of it at the time.
I have yet to attend a RCIA class (I am a cradle Catholic fallen to agnosticism and seeking to return), One of my main consern is how valid my confession would be since prior to joining the forums, I had no knowledge that masturbation was a sin (I did not have a good Catholic upbringing as a child) untill now.
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  #14  
Old May 16, '05, 7:53 pm
Lux_et_veritas Lux_et_veritas is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

Ahhh - I took your original statement to mean that you were going to confession and just not talking about that sin. Such a practice is one of the few things that can invalidate a confession.

Hopefully, you've gotten some encouragement here. One more piece of information to support what others have brought up about you not being alone...... supposedly over 90% of males and over 60% of females engage in the practice.

With that in mind, we need to be careful to never submit to the "Everyone Else is Doing it" Doctrine.

Best of luck in your RCIA and welcome home!!!!
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  #15  
Old May 16, '05, 8:06 pm
Lux_et_veritas Lux_et_veritas is offline
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Default Re: I dont know how to confess about mastrubation?

Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael T.
... remember that in confession we must not only say the specific type of sin (species) but also the number of times we fell into that sin ...

What happens if you are honestly unsure of the number of times that you committed a certain offense? Would saying "a few times" or "numerous times" be acceptable as long as it accurately described the number of times?
I think the whole idea behind the number thing is to help the confessor get an idea if the sin has risen to the level of habit or addiction. I would say there are three levels, the first being the easiest to resist and good reason to try stopping there if one has knowledge.

Level 1: Occassional (few times yearly or in a lifetime)
Level 2: Habit (few times monthly)
Level 3: Addiction (nearly daily)

Each of these areas needs to be addressed differently. Once one has persisted in something long enough for addiction to take place, it will take more help. For example, for one who masturbates a few times a year, it is one thing and not likely to prompt a confessor to suggest a specific confession routine or other advice. However, if one is in Level 3, the confessor may suggest that the penitent make a committment to coming to confession weekly until it is under control, or may recommend therapy or hooking the person up with one of many organizations dedicated to helping people to stop this and other impure practices.

The burden however, is on the penitent, imho, to inform the confessor if it has risen to level 2 or 3 and request help and suggestions for stopping. They have much experience in helping people and it would be ashamed to not ask for that help. If a confessor is rude right out of the shoot with someone who asks for help, then it is time to look for another confessor.

Also, one has to evaluate with deep sincerity, the origin of their arousal. Is it brought on by viewing porn? If so, we know what must go first before the resultant action must go. If it is brought on by certain TV shows or the internet, then measures must be taken to avoid them until the condition heads safely back down the scale to an occassion or is gone entirely. I don't believe that such temptations will leave and there is much comfort in knowing that many of the saints battled temptations of impurity.

We also have to understand that priests, nuns and other religious are human and they too will struggle with these things. The priest hearing a confession may be fighting that fight and may have conquered it himself so he would have valuable information. To think that those who serve God have no such feelings or temptations would be a sorry state of ignorance.

Believe it or not, I sometimes think that God allows us to fall so we an experience our weakness and understand his mercy. We are also in a better position to help others once we have conquered our internal enemies.
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