Can you relate to any of this?

[sheilakathy]

I'm having a really bad day and as it goes on, it just gets worse...

To start with, My father died 3 months ago and now my godfather has died too, 2 wks ago, but I only was informed a few days ago. Shock has worn off and I am now really feeling it.

On top of that there is a lady at church (who I see around town also) who ignores and avoids me (and goes to great lengths to do so even!) Then today, some lady promised to pick me up for church and never did, no call even to explain or apologise either.

I just feel so rejected, but then, that has been the story of my life!

Can you relate to any of this?

[valentino]

Do you have any thought as to why the lady avoids you?And the person that was to pick you up you didn't say how long its been that she hasn't called.This may be disturbing to you but i don't believe it would have the same effect on me.I think you are being overly concerned if you are in some way implying that these are extremely unusual events and there seems to be some connection.I sure I have had as bad of things happen to me within the given time frame.

[sheilakathy]

Hi, I wasn't too concerned that these two events are connected (thought the thought did cross my mind at one point, however I dismissed it).

THe lady who has avoided me has been doing so since the day I first attended my church some 2 months ago. It has bothered me ever since, as she kind of projects a "holier than thou" attitude toward me at times. She even got up and walked away when I sat nearby her last sunday. She had sat sown across from where I had placed my things and when I sat there where my things were, she got up and left.

One the first day I met her, she had this stiff lipped look on her face as the folks all around her were welcoming me into the church and talking with me. I even complimented her on her nice outfit, to which she said nothing and pretended she did not hear me. I know that she can hear, because she sits in MacDonalds with folks and has conversations with them freely. THeres plenty more, but I won't drag it out. Take my word for it, she's giving me the "cold shoulder."

As to the other lady who didn't pick me up, I realized later that she is very lacadazacle about church attendance, by some of the things she said to me when I called her this morning. If I'd really evaluated her attaitude and what she'd said, I'd have found another way to get there!

I wrote my priest and apologised anyway.

THanks for your thoughts, they helped too.

SK

[sheilakathy]

I'm doing somewhat better today. Woke around 5 AM and have been cleaning, reading biblical devotionals frrom a Catholic publisher and my catechism. I had not really realized what sloth was, but I am getting an idea now. Also, I had not realized that if something needs to be done and I "don't feel like doing it" for any reason, that is a temptation to be slothful. Um... I'm a poor sinner, Lord, have mercy on me! (He actually helps me to do my housework too, if I ask. But so often I have been slothful and have not asked nor done it.) This morning was and is different. I am trying. So my kitchen is looking better already. Please pray for me to continue in this trend! Thanks.
LOVEtoALL, SHeilaKathy

[donsnow]

Hi, SheilaKathy,

Although I'm not bipolar, I'm here because the founder invited me to her thread. MY diagnosis is Major Depression Recurring and PTSD from Military Sexual Trauma. Yeah, men get raped, too.

Anyway, just leave the woman alone who's ignoring you. It's probably more about her than about you, anyway.. Pray for her and just go your way.

I get better results in my housework and yard work when I say my daily prayers. So, keep praying.

God loves you,
Don

[Lady Marchmain]

I'm not sure how large your town or parish is, but I can relate to your stories. I never had any problems like this with people until I moved to a very small town. I hate to say this about a Catholic Church, but maybe it will help us understand. It seems some folks are attracted there because they can act out roles of being big shots, holy types, or know-it-alls.

I am very sad to say I have never seen so many snobby, arrogant, gossipy, or rude people congregated in one place as my tiny little parish! I have worked in corporations, tough environments and such, and nothing is like this "Peyton Place" atmosphere.

NOTE: it is a minority of people who act this way, just as the ones you describe. But they poison parish life in some ways for all the others. I suspect they are attracted to a church setting because socially they would not be tolerated in other situations.

SO, the point is, know that the problem is THEIRS. Be polite, gracious, but don't overdo it, if they want to ignore you, hey, it's their loss. Don't try to figure it out, it's probably a deep psychological problem. Give a quick nod or smile and go right by and focus on God and the good people.

[sheilakathy]

Yes, ours is a small parish, out in the country. Thanks for your thoughts, her friend that sat with her today called me over (after she'd left) and asked me my last name. I sat with her and spoke to her for awhile and also it was her dughter who gave me a ride to church today, so I feel a lot better about it all. I think as time goes on, she'll accept me and if not, you are right, it is her problem.

THe lady who didn't pick my up for church last week apologized and explained tht she could not find my building where I live. No waonder! Anyway, she took me home from church today and all is well. SK

[donsnow]

Hi, sheilakathy,

Well, I'm glad things are working out for you.

Maybe I need to admit I need a ride to church, rather than try to get up and catch a bus. That how I relate to your situation.
Hang in there and keep praying, too.

God loves you,
Don