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  #1  
Old Jun 13, '11, 6:46 pm
Irish Kathleen Irish Kathleen is offline
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Default Why are some people on this forum so caustic<

Hi everybody, I just have a simple question. Why is it that some, and I mean only some people on this forum are so mean and caustic? I answer a question and they want me to pin point my reasons etc. I merely stated my opinion. One came back on a different forum to chastise me. Everyone agreed, that was on a different question. It really has frightened me. I tried to be nice, yet I get this hostile person, who has read all of my posts and judges me. Any advise please, God bless you all. I am really worried!
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  #2  
Old Jun 13, '11, 7:12 pm
Mary Gail 36's Avatar
Mary Gail 36 Mary Gail 36 is offline
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Default Re: Why are some people on this forum so caustic<

Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish Kathleen View Post
Hi everybody, I just have a simple question. Why is it that some, and I mean only some people on this forum are so mean and caustic? I answer a question and they want me to pin point my reasons etc. I merely stated my opinion. One came back on a different forum to chastise me. Everyone agreed, that was on a different question. It really has frightened me. I tried to be nice, yet I get this hostile person, who has read all of my posts and judges me. Any advise please, God bless you all. I am really worried!
Use the ignore feature, you won't see any of that person's posts.

If someone is harassing you, report the post by clicking the triangle with the exclamation point. Hope that helps.
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  #3  
Old Jun 13, '11, 7:21 pm
ghym ghym is offline
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Default Re: Why are some people on this forum so caustic<

Mary Gail is absolutely right. There is no reason why you need to put up with them.

Sadly, some people see this forum as an outlet for their anger. Because it is basically anonymous they see no reason to tread lightly.

That person who followed you to an other thread was definitely out of line and i'm sure you had grounds to report them.

And never forget Christ loves you! Keep going sister.
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  #4  
Old Jun 13, '11, 7:27 pm
Irish Kathleen Irish Kathleen is offline
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Default Re: Why are some people on this forum so caustic<

Where is the ignore button and the exclamation point?
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  #5  
Old Jun 13, '11, 7:32 pm
ghym ghym is offline
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Default Re: Why are some people on this forum so caustic<

The 'report' button is in the top right of each and every post. Above the user info.

To ignore someone go to their page and you will see the options "Send Message" and "User Lists" If you click on User Lists, the third option is "Add to Ignore List"
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  #6  
Old Jun 13, '11, 7:36 pm
Irish Kathleen Irish Kathleen is offline
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Default Re: Why are some people on this forum so caustic<

Thank You so much. I feel better now!
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  #7  
Old Jun 13, '11, 7:37 pm
happymommy happymommy is offline
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Default Re: Why are some people on this forum so caustic<

I've read that thread. She just wants you to answer a question. Not caustic at all. You posted your opinion; she asked for the reason you felt that way. That's it.
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Old Jun 13, '11, 7:39 pm
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cradlecatholic5 cradlecatholic5 is offline
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Default Re: Why are some people on this forum so caustic<

Irish Kathleen,,

I've wondered the same thing. I say a prayer for them and then go on.

Altho, I sure didn't know about the "ignore" button. Thanks!
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  #9  
Old Jun 13, '11, 7:46 pm
happymommy happymommy is offline
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Default Re: Why are some people on this forum so caustic<

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Irish Kathleen,,

I've wondered the same thing. I say a prayer for them and then go on.

Altho, I sure didn't know about the "ignore" button. Thanks!
Oh, there are people on here that can be that way. I've had it said about me before too. But sometimes it goes both ways. Sometimes people become caustic because they want to have a discussion and go over facts, but sometimes the people they are "talking" to get caustic because they don't want to get that deep into the discussion. When this happens it's best to walk away for awhile and try again. There are some people on here that you just won't be able to be friends with. That's life. I caution reporting people over a small difference of opinion, because some days you could report everyone you are posting with
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  #10  
Old Jun 13, '11, 8:02 pm
ghym ghym is offline
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Default Re: Why are some people on this forum so caustic<

I went ahead and read the thread on ballet. I was curious.

Although i do think it was inappropriate for Prayerful to bring up a different debate on the ballet thread, i don't think he was being really caustic. I would classify him as aggressive.

I think you might be over reacting, a little.
In the future, my advise would be to simply clarify your position and then say that you don't desire to go any deeper and ask that they find someone else to debate with.

As always,
In Christ
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  #11  
Old Jun 13, '11, 8:29 pm
Edmundus1581 Edmundus1581 is offline
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Default Re: Why are some people on this forum so caustic<

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Originally Posted by Irish Kathleen View Post
I answer a question and they want me to pin point my reasons etc. I merely stated my opinion. One came back on a different forum to chastise me.
I have deliberately not looked up your posts, as I want to offer a general comment on what you have said here, without taking sides, and you can decide for yourself how it might apply.

I agree that people should be able to offer an opinion without being chased for their reasons. Eg. If the question is "Do you prefer modern music in Mass?" then a simple "I hate modern music" should be accepted without argument. However if you were to reply with a more objective comment, eg. "Parishes which use modern music drive people away" then it would be fair to ask "Have you got any data?". It would also be fair to respond "No - I have no data - that's just my impression". One should also be prepared to defend controversial posts, eg. if one posts "The music of Jerry Huckbuster is full of heresies" then the fans of Jerry Huckbuster would be entitled to ask "what heresies?".

Unfortunately, there are some people who take this too far. People should be able to post an opinion and be given the benefit of the doubt about their sincerity and knowledge. Calls for "more info" should be restricted to important matters, and not used to discredit individuals. (I've been on the receiving end of that myself - and it was difficult to maintain my good will).

Last edited by Edmundus1581; Jun 13, '11 at 8:44 pm.
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  #12  
Old Jun 13, '11, 9:00 pm
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curlycool89 curlycool89 is offline
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Default Re: Why are some people on this forum so caustic<

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Originally Posted by Edmundus1581 View Post
I have deliberately not looked up your posts, as I want to offer a general comment on what you have said here, without taking sides, and you can decide for yourself how it might apply.

I agree that people should be able to offer an opinion without being chased for their reasons. Eg. If the question is "Do you prefer modern music in Mass?" then a simple "I hate modern music" should be accepted without argument. However if you were to reply with a more objective comment, eg. "Parishes which use modern music drive people away" then it would be fair to ask "Have you got any data?". It would also be fair to respond "No - I have no data - that's just my impression". If one's own post is an unsolicited criticism, eg. "The music of Jerry Huckbuster is full of heresies" then the fans of Jerry Huckbuster would be entitled to ask for some evidence. In general, the more detailed and objective the question and and answer, then the more appropriate it is to be asked to back up your posts.

Unfortunately, there are some people who take this too far. People should be able to post an opinion and be given the benefit of the doubt about their sincerity and knowledge. Calls for "more info" should be restricted to important matters, and not used to discredit individuals. (I've been on the receiving end of that myself - and it was difficult to maintain my good will).
It's not really appropriate to debate in a thread about being caustic (only because it's too ironic ), but sometimes you do have to call people out.

Personally, I don't care if someone has an opinion. I might think their opinion is dumb, or misinformed, or that they're being puritanical. I just like people to recognize that it is their opinion and nothing more. If someone says "I hate the music of Jerry Huckbuster", then that's just their taste (disclaimer: I don't know who Jerry Huckbuster is, so I have no opinion on the matter).

It's different when people try and pass of their opinion as the One True TruthTM. Now, there are certain things that are undeniable Truths (abortion is murder, marriage is between a man and a women, etc). I'm talking about the opinion ones. For some reason, music gets a lot of hate, from people who still think Rock and Roll is from the devil to those who think anything less than Gregorian Chant is sacrilegious and anywhere in between and totally off the map of both of those.

I'll give a personal example which I've argued on these forums repeatedly. I'm a fan of Harry Potter. Now, I fully admit that they're not the greatest literary pieces of all time (but I'm an engineer so I could really care less what people think about their literary value ), but I've had several different times where people have insinuated that I'm a bad Catholic and going to Hell for liking the series. Some people don't like the series, and I'm fine with that; if people don't want to read it then whatever. Just don't try to pass off your opinion as some sort of universal truth when it's just your opinion.

It comes down to subjective vs. objective. If someone makes a subjective statement (I like ..., or I hate/dislike ...), then it's just their opinion and they acknowledge that. When people make an objective statement ("Jerry Huckbuster music is full of heresies" for examples), then it is their job to back up their statement. If they get mad at that, then it is them who need to gain some maturity. People have differing opinions about some subjects and neither of them are bad Catholics. Get over it and grow up.
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