Protestant vs Catholic Jokes # 5

[AndrewRaZ]

Well, if those are 1960's jokes, that explains a lot. Very existentialist. And that's the joke!

[CatholicofAgora]

One night, there was a Catholic driving down the road and he saw a Protestant.

He said to himself, "Man, I gotta run this guy over!" So he swerved and ran over the Protestant.

As he was driving, he then saw a priest and said, "Awe, I should give this poor fella a ride." So he gave the priest a ride in his car.

On the way home, he saw another Protestant and said to himself, "Man, I want to hit this guy SO BAD, but I can't do it with this hole man in the car!" So he pretended to drift off to sleep, swerved over until he heard a "thud", and pretended to wake up.

When he pretended to wake up, he asked, "Oh no, did I hit him!"

And the priest said, "No, but I got him with the car door."

[TarkanAttila]

Originally Posted by donsnow

1960's jokes.


Q. What's the difference between a bugle and a bagel?

A. The bagel is not loud.


Q. What's the difference between elephants and blue berries?

A. Elephants are grey.

The funniest thing about those jokes is how unfunny the authors (or the people reading these jokes) must have been.

Here's a demotivational poster for our UGCC friends:

[donsnow]

Originally Posted by AndrewRaZ

Well, if those are 1960's jokes, that explains a lot. Very existentialist. And that's the joke!

Even with jokes, there's nothing new under the sun: just recycled over the generations .

[donsnow]

'nother 1960's joke for musicians:

Two hippies were walking by a construction area where a catholic church was being built. As they walked under the bell tower, the rope broke and the bell fell. However, as they were walking, they cleared the area right under the bell and it hit the ground right behind them, giving out a loud "Boooonng"!

One hippie says, "Like man, what was that?"

The other hippies says, "B flat."

[donsnow]

A woman decided to throw a white elephant party. Everyone was to bring something they could not use but which was too good to throw away. The party would have been a great success except that 11 of the 19 women brought their husbands.

[GEddie]

Originally Posted by donsnow

Even with jokes, there's nothing new under the sun: just recycled over the generations .

Well no, political jokes do change. Consider that in my life, I've seen Polish jokes, Northern Ireland jokes, Soviet jokes etc come and go. And now Syrian checkpoint jokes are making an appearance.


Q: Why do folks not find political jokes to be very funny?

A: They are tired of seeing them on the ballot every cycle.



ICXC NIKA

[Swiss Guy]

Originally Posted by CatholicofAgora

One night, there was a Catholic driving down the road and he saw a Protestant.

He said to himself, "Man, I gotta run this guy over!" So he swerved and ran over the Protestant.

As he was driving, he then saw a priest and said, "Awe, I should give this poor fella a ride." So he gave the priest a ride in his car.

On the way home, he saw another Protestant and said to himself, "Man, I want to hit this guy SO BAD, but I can't do it with this hole man in the car!" So he pretended to drift off to sleep, swerved over until he heard a "thud", and pretended to wake up.

When he pretended to wake up, he asked, "Oh no, did I hit him!"

And the priest said, "No, but I got him with the car door."

[donsnow]

Morbid political jokes:

Q. How many Palestinians can get into a Volkswagen bug?

A. Just the one, because of the size of the car bomb.

Q. How many Syrians can get into a Volkswagen bug?

A. Five, since a canister of chemicals doesn't take up that much space.

[donsnow]

Happy Memorial Day.

[donsnow]

"MY son used to be late to school every day," said the father of a teenaged boy to his friend. "I bought him a car for Christmas and that solved the problem."

"How did you buying him a car make a difference?" the second father ask.

"Then, he went go school early so he could find a parking spot."

[GIR]

Originally Posted by donsnow

"MY son used to be late to school every day," said the father of a teenaged boy to his friend. "I bought him a car for Christmas and that solved the problem."

"How did you buying him a car make a difference?" the second father ask.

"Then, he went go school early so he could find a parking spot."

this was so true at our high school Parking permits were prioritized so that seniors got them first, and if there were any left over, the Juniors got what was left. A lot of people parked at the community college up the street and walked over, so many, in fact, that the college complained. I couldn't drive, so I didn't really care. The sad thing was, if there were a side walk, I could have walked home, but I didn't want to walk in the ditch or in the street.

[donsnow]

Originally Posted by GIR

this was so true at our high school Parking permits were prioritized so that seniors got them first, and if there were any left over, the Juniors got what was left. A lot of people parked at the community college up the street and walked over, so many, in fact, that the college complained. I couldn't drive, so I didn't really care. The sad thing was, if there were a side walk, I could have walked home, but I didn't want to walk in the ditch or in the street.

Good morning, GIR,

That's a shame about no sidewalks. That's poor city planning, to forget the pedestrians, like that.

Is there any kind of city bus service? What about a school bus?

God loves you,
Don

[donsnow]

One news anchor to another while off the air: "You just had to blurt out the details, did you? Now, what are we going to tell them at eleven O'clock?"

[donsnow]

Mother to teenager dozing on couch: "I don't think that's what it means when it says, 'chill for an hour before serving.'"