Anxiety, Depression, and Panic Attacks - Page 2

IJOHNBLOVEPRAY · #16 Sep 6, '11, 8:56 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by LSUpathdoc

This is my first post and my first visit to this site. I guess I feel lost and afraid.

Just a bit about me. I am in my second year of my medical residency in pathology and I have suffered from anxiety, depression, and panic attacks almost all my life. It think I have managed to make it through my life by avoiding things or situations that make me anxious or other defense mechanisms that have essentially protected me until now. That being said I have not had the easiest of roads. My mother was diagnosed with a grade 3 brain tumor when I was in high school and was essentially told she had 6 months to live. She beat it for 12 years. However in my second year of medical school it came back and took her from us. I loved my mother with all my heart; she was one of my biggest fans and still is my inspiration. I started to be interested in medicine because of her cancer but her passing away made me want revenge on what took her. I want to cure cancer so that no other family has to go through the pain that my family endured.

So I made it through medical school, dodging and weaving my way through the situations that made me anxious and I finished. I’m a doctor now and I don’t have to deal with those situations any more right? Well I seemed to have been dead wrong. It seems this stage in training only makes me more exposed to anxiety. For the first year of my residency I have been able to "deal" with my problems however I can tell it has worn on me emotionally. Lately though it seems that I am coming to the limits of what I can endure. I feel trapped in my own mind. On one hand I don’t have to put myself in a situation where I feel horrible every day, however on the other hand I have to endure this to get where I want to be. I just don’t want to be miserable for the next 2 and half years of residency. My wife and family do not deserve that and frankly I don’t think I deserve this. I am seeking help in the form of psychologists, psychiatrists, my priest, and of course God’s help. It just doesn’t seem enough. I just feel so very lost.

The sad thing is if I look at my life objectively things are going really great. I have a wonderful loving wife and we found out that we are pregnant recently. I should be thrilled, but all I find myself focusing on is my anxiety and worry. I hate to say it but sometimes I wonder if she would be better off without having to deal with a husband who is, well broken. I should be the strong man and lead the family right?

I just don’t know what is the reason for this God? I feel like I am suffering and for what? Haven’t I suffered enough? I am just so so tired of being scared all the time. I just want to be happy. I guess I am just asking for your prayers, opinions, and suggestions.

Hi, I have one thing to say to you , pray and pray and pray all the time. GOD loves you and is there for you. Do not let the enemy put these thoughts in your mind. Pray and focus on God because he is blessing and healing you. TRUST HIM. LORD GOD put your hand on your child here and give him your strength to focus on you and be closer to you and build his faith and banish fear from his mind, thoughts and heart. LORD let him have JESUS in his heart and feel you always .thanks LORD , in JESUS;S name I pray, amen.

KDN · #17 Sep 6, '11, 9:37 pm

My prayers are with you, I suffer from anxiety, depression and PTSD. I rarely even leave my apartment anymore. Its just gotten much worst this year, I pray every morning and night and several times in between. I'm still slowly trying to overcome my anxiety with prayers.

I was raised as a catholic, but in my teen years somewhere I fell off God's path. By the time I was in my 20s. I was involved in some bad things that landed me somewhere I didn't want to be. I blamed God, I was angry at God, I would always ask God, "Why? why are you doing this to me!?!" I realize that I was asking the wrong questions.I should be asking God for strength and faith to help me overcome.

There are times where I feel like I'm back at square one, those days test my faith the most. Your not broken, your not alone. Keep your faith and prayer strong. God will lead you the right way. I actually just suffered a anxiety attack, couldn't sleep and somehow I found this forum and knew I need to register.

We all had our own trials and problems in our life, your situation isn't like mine but with prayer and faith we can we through this.

catmom50 · #18 Sep 7, '11, 6:44 am

Praying for you today.

Pray and stay close to God. He'll always see you through. Take it one day at a time.

God bless you!

**244Rocket** · #19 Sep 7, '11, 8:15 am

Praying hard to St. Dymphna. Wishing you the best.

LSUpathdoc · #20 Sep 7, '11, 9:14 am

So now I am scared and not really sure what to do. I recently have been put on "leave" due to my heightened anxiety and to get back to work I have to get this paperwork filled out by a psychiatrist. The rub here is the only psychiatrist that can see me in the time frame that I need and is in my network is one that I just stopped seeing because the medication he prescribed me made me more anxious and frankly for the first time in my life thinking of a way out. Now I never ever think suicide is the answer but there were some moments that it did come in to my mind (I am even embarrassed to admit that). So I have to go back to this guy and get this paperwork signed and at the same time I know I need some other medication to manage my anxiety but I dont think I can trust him. He either didn't take my complaints seriously or didn't want to change his management for whatever reason. The other option I have is to see a nurse practitioner and how she can help me. I dont mean to come across as sexist or any other insult but I just want the best help I can get and I dont know if I can get that from a nurse practitioner. I really hope I am wrong and she can help me because I dont know if this psychiatrist can. God I just need help, to be free from this prison of anxiety.

bethanysamuel · #21 Sep 7, '11, 9:32 am

Dear Lord,
Please help LSUpathdoc in this very difficult time of decision making. Please help him and his family. Also, please help his doctor to be patient and compassionate in his decisions aswell. Amen.

KDN · #22 Sep 7, '11, 3:24 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by LSUpathdoc

So now I am scared and not really sure what to do. I recently have been put on "leave" due to my heightened anxiety and to get back to work I have to get this paperwork filled out by a psychiatrist. The rub here is the only psychiatrist that can see me in the time frame that I need and is in my network is one that I just stopped seeing because the medication he prescribed me made me more anxious and frankly for the first time in my life thinking of a way out. Now I never ever think suicide is the answer but there were some moments that it did come in to my mind (I am even embarrassed to admit that). So I have to go back to this guy and get this paperwork signed and at the same time I know I need some other medication to manage my anxiety but I dont think I can trust him. He either didn't take my complaints seriously or didn't want to change his management for whatever reason. The other option I have is to see a nurse practitioner and how she can help me. I dont mean to come across as sexist or any other insult but I just want the best help I can get and I dont know if I can get that from a nurse practitioner. I really hope I am wrong and she can help me because I dont know if this psychiatrist can. God I just need help, to be free from this prison of anxiety.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I've tried the anxiety medication as well and it makes me feel worst than I already do. I too, have had thoughts about suicide, but that was when my anxiety and depression are the strongest. Your not alone, don't give up. Talk to the nurse practitioner I'm sure she is more understanding. Those pills are more harmful than helpful. Pray, it works. I'm praying for you right now.

LSUpathdoc · #23 Sep 8, '11, 6:21 am

Well here goes nothing..........I will be going to see the psychiatrist (the one that prescribed me several medications that made me feel worse and almost suicidal) today. God I need help please I beg you to let me find relief from this suffering. I need this and my family needs this. I am so tired of burdening them with my anxiety and fear. Please God help me.

catmom50 · #24 Sep 8, '11, 12:10 pm

Praying for you today.

God bless!

catmom50 · #25 Sep 19, '11, 6:14 pm

Praying for you today.

God bless you!

catmom50 · #26 Sep 26, '11, 6:28 pm

Praying for you.

Any updates??

God bless!

Passion Flower · #27 Sep 27, '11, 4:57 am

Praying for you ...

catmom50 · #28 Sep 27, '11, 9:32 am

Praying for you

God bless!

jfLip · #29 Sep 27, '11, 9:49 am

God, please give LSUpathdoc the courage, wisdom, and strength to overcome any of life's challenges. Help him to continue on your path for him, God - he's doing a great job already. Help him find comfort in mind, body, and spirit.

Amen.

jason3477 · #30 Sep 27, '11, 9:51 am

Our Father, who art in heaven
hallowed be Thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever, world without end. Amen