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  #1  
Old Jun 19, '05, 10:08 am
UtahMaggie UtahMaggie is offline
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Question First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

At my daughter's First Communion, some of the girls looked like small versions of brides. One even had acrylic finger nails. My daughter's dress was fairly simple as was her veil. Do you think in some instances the girls are distracted from the importance of the day or do you think that she should dress as fancy as possible because it is such an important occasion?

Maggie
  #2  
Old Jun 19, '05, 10:15 am
Giannawannabe Giannawannabe is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

As a First Communion teacher I must say YES!!! I usually have 1 or 2 little girls who begin working on their First Communion "ensemble" months before the big day. I think it's important to look nice, but to spend so much time on picking out just the right dress, veil, getting hair done, etc. etc. just might take away from the true meaning of the whole day---trying to center all attention on the kid, not Jesus in the Eucharist
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  #3  
Old Jun 19, '05, 10:20 am
puzzleannie puzzleannie is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

I cannot count how many parents of older girls preparing for first communion tell me they did not do it sooner because they could not afford the dress, or the party, or who did not receive their owns sacraments when they were young because the parents made the same excuse. I personally know of a half dozen outfits that cost more than my own daughters' wedding dresses. I ordered some inexpensive communion veils to sell along with other religious goods we carry, because our area is soo poor, priced lower than gift shops, but could not figure out why they weren't selling. Too cheap, I was told by several old-timers. People think if they don't pay an exhorbitant price it is no good, and want to prove their love for the recipient by the price of the gift.
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  #4  
Old Jun 19, '05, 10:39 am
contemplative contemplative is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

First Commnion dresses have been fancy for at least 35 years! There is no harm in a beautiful dress. It should fit your budget! Which ever dress you and your daughter choose, your child needs to know that the dress isn't the important part of the day.

My mother sewed me a beautiful straightline dress when most of the other girls had big poofy ones. Yes, I thought I wanted the big poofy one but was glad for the one my mother made me.

If you can, try sewing something special! Plain or fancy your daughter will feel special.
  #5  
Old Jun 19, '05, 10:57 am
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Windmill Windmill is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

Here, here.

I think we should avoid the over-embelishment, but we still need beautiful dresses. I'd even say that we should strive to keep the veil. Make a simple white dress and wear the veil. So many symbols are being tosses aside in this church that it is pathetic. G.K. Chesterton once said that we don't know what we are doing because we don't know what we are UNdoing.

Before we throw stuff aside, let's take a closer look at it and measure its value. The veil is a symbol of a pure, modest, innocence that these children are approaching their Lord with. It DOES look like a bride's veil because the spiritual Communion with Jesus mirrors the physical communion with spouses. Now, let's not let that give us licesnse to buy semi-wedding gowns at "wedding gown prices," but let us seek to maintain faith-filled symbols and the sacredness of what is going on.

Rich
  #6  
Old Jun 19, '05, 11:05 am
Giannawannabe Giannawannabe is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Windmill
Here, here.

I think we should avoid the over-embelishment, but we still need beautiful dresses. I'd even say that we should strive to keep the veil. Make a simple white dress and wear the veil. So many symbols are being tosses aside in this church that it is pathetic. G.K. Chesterton once said that we don't know what we are doing because we don't know what we are UNdoing.

Before we throw stuff aside, let's take a closer look at it and measure its value. The veil is a symbol of a pure, modest, innocence that these children are approaching their Lord with. It DOES look like a bride's veil because the spiritual Communion with Jesus mirrors the physical communion with spouses. Now, let's not let that give us licesnse to buy semi-wedding gowns at "wedding gown prices," but let us seek to maintain faith-filled symbols and the sacredness of what is going on.

Rich
I don't think anyone said to throw stuff aside. I totally agree that the veil and pretty dress are important symbols and picking out a special First Communion dress shows the importance of the occasion. I think it's when, like another poster said, the girls are getting nails done, hair done, buying dresses that are over 200-300 dollars, etc. etc.
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  #7  
Old Jun 19, '05, 11:32 am
Baby Sister Baby Sister is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

Yes, the dresses now are getting too fancy! My niece's girl scout group had a fashion show so that they could model their first communion dresses. The girl scout leaders thought it would be nice to have the girls also model their mother's dresses, or any dresses that were contributed by women in the parish.

What a contrast between the girls' dresses and those of even 10 years ago. Most of the earlier dresses were home-made, and very simple. Yet I found those dresses to be very beautiful in their simplicity. I imagined my own mother making the special dresses for my sisters and thinking about the preparations for first communion.

I still have the dress that my oldest sister wore in 1956. I remember asking for the dress in the hope that I would someday have a daughter who could wear it. My daughter will soon be five, and I realize that her first communion dress will be out of place amid the off-the-shoulder, satin, sequined, pearl-studded dresses, but she will be wearing something that her grandmother, for whom she was named made. Call me sentimental.
  #8  
Old Jun 19, '05, 11:37 am
SeanMc SeanMc is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

Well, when one makes sacraments a rite of passage rather than a religious event, what should we expect?

This is the reason why most people don't get confimed. They view it as a useless rite of passage rather than a sign of Christ.
  #9  
Old Jun 19, '05, 1:03 pm
puzzleannie puzzleannie is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

several of the Filipino girls wear what are clearly heirloom dresses with antique lace, pearls and embroidery, and beautiful headpieces with combs. made dresses for my daughters and their friends which are still being used within the family. my methodist grandmother made my first communion dress, like she did most of my clothes, which was a real gift given her feelings about the Catholic church.
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  #10  
Old Jun 19, '05, 4:33 pm
Mila Mila is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

I don't know what first communion dresses used to look like but I remember this year my sister-in-law going to great lengths to obtain the perfect dress, veil, shoes and stockings for my niece's first communion. She spent HOURS driving from one end of the SF bay area to the other getting everything so she'd look perfect and upon seeing her in full dress, my brother-in-law exclaimed "Ugh! It looks like she's getting married at age seven!"

Funny thing about it is that they never, ever go to Mass. It's almost like spending a year planning a wedding and then having a dysfuntional marriage. Talk about having your priorities in the wrong place...
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  #11  
Old Jun 19, '05, 4:42 pm
mommyaprilj mommyaprilj is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

My daughter had a beautiful gown, ankle length, sleeves just past the elbow, a little pouffy, with a (I thought) reasonable $55 price tag. Add $20 for the little veil, and $10 for the shoes from payless (which became her church shoes), and she now has a family heirloom to pass down.

I didn't worry to much about the $85 total after someone told me they spent $300.
  #12  
Old Jun 19, '05, 4:50 pm
contemplative contemplative is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

Consider donating your dresses to your church when you are finished with them. Offer them to friends and relatives who might appreciate the savings.
  #13  
Old Jun 19, '05, 5:10 pm
Bruised Reed Bruised Reed is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by contemplative
Consider donating your dresses to your church when you are finished with them. Offer them to friends and relatives who might appreciate the savings.
Beautiful idea. I still have mine (my mom made it) and I would love to have a family member or friend wear it. Even if that person was someone I've never met.
  #14  
Old Jun 19, '05, 6:07 pm
MT Reynolds MT Reynolds is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

I recall being insanely jealous on my First Communion day. All the other girls were dressed as "brides" where as I had a simple homemade dress courtesy of my mother. Though it was not fair in my mind at the time, I believe that that cotton dress is somewhere at my parent's house. Being made of natural fibers, it should last a long time. Polyester gets kinda nasty after a while.
I secretly wish that my mom would still sew my clothes, but sadly I did not appreciate the gesture when I was younger.
  #15  
Old Jun 19, '05, 6:12 pm
contemplative contemplative is offline
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Default Re: First Communion dresses getting too fancy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bruised Reed
Beautiful idea. I still have mine (my mom made it) and I would love to have a family member or friend wear it. Even if that person was someone I've never met.
One dress was given to a relative and another was donated to church. Contact your First Holy Communion coordinator and suggest keeping a closet for donated dresses.
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