Life Without Living - Page 8

TheGreatestLove · #**106** Dec 19, '11, 5:27 pm

After days of tormenting suffering, after sarcastic laughter from my eldest son, whenI cried in desperation of my ill sons whereabouts.After calling my eldest daughter asking her to help but recieving no response, I know at the moment where my ill son is.

I called my eldest son number and after days...my ill son answered. He spoke alot of lies, i was mad and expressed my pain over him, my anger at his lies. He said he told everyone including doctors lies that he was homeless, to get away from that girl.
My eldest son plays a huge role here in dictating to my ill son what to do and say against me the mother. Its a hard life...to try to untwist manipulation , we should not bother. But how does one do anything else when they are your children.

my family is involved in all of this. the many times I called up and asked my eldest son to take my ill son for a couple weeks , i begged my daughter...for his sake..to get him out of here for a while...they said no , no , no.
Yet my eldest son, waited for the perfect time to pierce my heart...Is this satan..and how has he gained so much control over my children.

I have been slandered by 'my' family for many years...I prayed i continued on..I read about how The Lord views slander and lies...with much anger. My family has total control over my eldest son...my eldest daughter seems caught in her silence.....but no one tells me why.

When I can clear my head of the horrific stress..for a moment...and know I am not crazy..that my family has truly done all I have spoke of here..for the moment when I can escape blaming myself..and looking down on myself; I know God's punishement against all evil. I think O my family members...and I think as I have wished for their punishment from
God for all thier evil..Last night....I still held compassion .as I know that evil will reside with the world of the dead.

You all know , what is happening in this world today....I remember when I use to speak of revelations...how the christians will suffer as well...those of sincere faith in God.
I pray so desperately and earnestly for the wisdom to know the difference especially in this time. For so much can be lost .....when darkness invades the babies from my womb.

I prayed tonight, for the Lord to deliver all ...allll of my children from evil...and mostly for their sake. My heart aches worse then ever....Its hard to keep going...My one friend in Jesus whom i talked regularly too....reminds me that God is with me, she seems to see a great strength in me. I need to rise above all....to continue.

The Lord Is My Shephard.

Those that can be saved may he return them to the flock.

thankyou for your continued prayers.

By the sign of the cross may evil flee from the children of God.
And may they be delivered from the hands of sin.

**tbcrawford** · #**107** Dec 20, '11, 2:41 am

Dear friend I am sorry your children and other family members treat you so cruelly.Sometimes in life we have to take ourselves away from a situation for our own health and well being.I would suggest you love your children form a distance.Stop contact with them.You know your ill son is safe now. Pray for them and for your self in the meantime we will all continue to pray with you and for you and all your family.If it were me I would try to resign myself to being apart from them and strive to be accepting of it for we cannot make people change.If only we could? I have a family member who treats me unfairly and it is a tough challenge.God loves you and knows the sacrifices you make. Love and hugs for you
May God bless you

Lord please grant healing to her ill son and open the hearts and minds of all these family members.I ask You to comfort and guide our friend 'TheGreatestLove' please grant her strength and wisdom courage and faith.May she feel Your deep love for her as You have for all Your children.Lord please guide the doctors and medical professionals taking care fo her ill son.Please guide them to have the knowledge and skills necessary to help him and heal him.Lord please place Your healing hand upon our friend and this situation and grant this situation can be reconciled.Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

TheGreatestLove · #**108** Dec 20, '11, 12:33 pm

Thankyou TB

I have had to do that with 'my family' its a mindbottling experience! When it comes to ones kids it becomes disturbing.

That is what I was planning to do-I have done before with oldest son back and forth. Its so hard. I feel like I am doing something wrong- How can my children be so manipulated by 'my'
family?? Sometimes I wonder again what have I done so wrong!

Fighting to provide christmas for my two at home. Tried to call my daughter feeling bad where she have someplace to go for christmas? Is she sad but cannot express herself? I have raised my children on my own .......they have no respect for me...the oldest ones....ashamed for anyone to know me, my oldest son got married a couple years ago...my first born...I called up one day then, and found out he just bought a ring to get married.

I kept thinking we would be there....I went thru hell then...when I realized all along I was not invited nor any children that were presently at home with me.

It was a hard day. My whole family was invited they have money they took their plane to his wedding.
Do I look like the guilty party for God's sake? But I know somewhere deep inside I am not!

If my children leave me and take 'myfamilys' side....alls well with them..as long as they feel they are breaking me, by my reactions...I learned a long time ago about abuse and control...my position in a dysfuntional family. But How in the world would an abusive family be able to manipulate my children????

I learned a long time ago...in therapy...that my fammily was ashamed of me......and would do anything to protect their image. I never understood. why? I wasn't married with children ...such a disgrace...what about the man????? Is he not the disgrace that does not look after his children in any way or form?????

I am trying to walk away......but their my children! But I cannot take the abuse anymore.
Pray for me....I can barely function.........this is the worst ever .....

I know we cannot change people- so much that happens to me.....is toxic......It only makes me trust people less and less and less.

What is Gods purpose here? I don't pray for others, or feel compassion for a reward.
I do not try to control and abuse people so that I feel like somebody!
I am different.....I have began again to doubt the many spirituality experiences..........my friend remiinds me of when i was 13 ...she was present when she though a catholic never really believed at that age...one night I said i will come over and show you there is a God.

I had no idea what I was in for....The Holy Spirit..my first experience that I can recolect.
From that she grew in faith.........and her faith in God is strong. She is lost when trying to understand all i been through and continue to go through.

Its like being lost in the desert....thinking and believing from time to time, that i have found a drink of water......then to realize I was only hallucinating. And now its like dying of thirst-reaching for the sparkling streams- when only sand is kicked at me.

When I write all this, I pray you all never know who I am..for I would be so humiliated after writing so much about myself.-and would feel so pathetic.

Thankyou TB for your support

**tbcrawford** · #**109** Dec 20, '11, 1:02 pm

Dear friend you are very brave and courageous I am completely in awe of you.You suffer so much emotional hurt from you children and your extended family yet you still love them.Thats says an awful lot about you and how good and strong a person you really are.I understand how painful it is to be so hurt by your kids and you clearly love them very much.
By being away from them and not contacting them does nto mean you love them any the less,in any way at all.It simply means you still love them with all your heart and always will,but you cannot be subjected to the emotional pain any longer.One day they will come to alter their opinions as they are being manipulated by your extended family members.One day they will come to know the truth.Whether it be in this life or the next it will happen.God feels your pain and He is with you through all of this.I shall continue to pray that He will guide your children to open their hearts and minds to His will and guide them to know and love you ,their mother.In the meantime you can pray for them and I and others shall pray with you.
It is a very very painful and difficult thing to do but you are still loving them, just avoiding confrontation and pain by loving them from a distance.

(((HUGS))) love and prayers for you my friend.
God bless

Our Blessed Lady please intercede for our dear friend
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

**tbcrawford** · #**110** Dec 21, '11, 4:03 pm

Lord please grant healing to her ill son and open the hearts and minds of all these family members.I ask You to comfort and guide our friend 'TheGreatestLove' please grant her strength and wisdom courage and faith.May she feel Your deep love for her as You have for all Your children.Lord please guide the doctors and medical professionals taking care fo her ill son.Please guide them to have the knowledge and skills necessary to help him and heal him.Lord please place Your healing hand upon our friend and this situation and grant this situation can be reconciled.Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

TheGreatestLove · #**111** Dec 21, '11, 6:53 pm

TBCrawford

I will cherish your last heart filled post-filled with your belief in me and full of support from you.
By the Grace of God, through many tears held back, I held my head as high as I could today and went out to finish christmas stuff.
You have brought precious tears to my eyes...you have confirmed with your words through your sincere prayers that I am ok. I am not what they have done to me and my children.
Today I called my eldest son cause i could not get a hold of my ill son, He answered phone with a cheerful hello---when I said is 'my (ill) son "" ok? Is he at your home ??? He responded
with NO! ' He is in another place temporarily' I said where? He said: " I won't be telling you that' sarcasticly....I screamed at him. I called my friend...........told her.she said to call the police in that city...I figured How in the hek without any support or anyone standing beside me will they possibly believe (in that far away city) me? She is so confused at how and why my extended family could get away with so much. They never bothered with him before ..only to hurt me.
I blessed myself...my stomach turning.....I grab whatever strength i had and went out to finish for the children I have a home for christmas...in the car I prayed......our father, hail mary ....most gracious virgin mary...i pleaded with God...to take care of my ill son...you know what i heard three times...'I am here with you' I wanted to hear He would take care of him keep him safe....and bring him home well.

I called my eldest son wife...when i got home...I never knew her before...I asked her to tell me where my son was....(as you can see, by what i write here...my eldest son made my ill son believe that he was staying at thier home for christmas...How horrifying for him....
my heart dropped...omg the cruelty...his wife is a perfect match i see for my eldest son,
who tried to express authority over me, well I may be weak and in pain....But I responded intelligently, direct....without reacting to her whatever you call that...she would not tell me.
when I first called i was pleasant to her ....she told me its been aterrible day...our whole home flooded..............I will not gloat over their sudden troubles.........as God said in the bible ....I will punish your enemies.....adversies........I did not feel one bit of pity for them...they misled my ill son., and now I have come to find out through an email..from my ill son, that they put him in another shelter..omg..its christmas.... I said to this girl at the end....you have no authority to demonstrate any power over my son! This is my son, who has been in my care since young who has been sick ........she continued to be sarcastic.
Maybe i was wrong here, but I don't believe the words i said were wrong....I told her------ you know your home being flooded -----that is the hand of God...In his anger at what you's have done!!!

My eldest son .....would be lucky to see this sign now................................

my ill son last said the other nite..when i found him...that he was staying there for xmas
Did he know that after only one night, he would be transferred away?
My eldest son...never was a brother to 'my ill son'......I know this must be another pain for my ill son...to have hoped his brother was actually caring about him.

It is horrific. I wrote My Ill son- back .....through email.....and told him we love him...and I will send a bus ticket for him at any moment. I know I cannot go through the same, but I cannot bare to know he is all alone ....amongst strangers.
I did everything to do to get him help...and no one would help..him . I travelled to one place with no help. my doctor...she lied to me...she cannot comprehend my extended family and the harm they have done, to my oldest son, to me....and now to my ill son. She had the power to do something and told me should would 2 weeks ago....when he was closer she said she would have him sent to closer city ect....as that was my plan. to get him some help.so he would be home for Christmas.She lied....then left it with my family. you know at one point as I confided this in her for years...she said- I met your sister she doesn't look like the kind of person that would do all these things yu have said. (that was another sister who is involved as well) as always they all dive in to attack me by any means ....my younger son says they are jealous mom, cause your prettier then they are..smile....unfortunately it seems so...the jelousy which is derived from self hatred and imposed on another to fill their empty void. Jealousy is hatred....cruelty.....it is because they are from the dysfunctional family....and parents that I escaped and still trying to escape from.

I hope to get out of this horrid place where i live soon. Looks like I await the angels to help me move.

TB Your words...will remain in my heart and my soul....and will give me new strength.......Thankyou ...
Thankyou for saying you and others will continue praying for my Son.

Pray that I will gain and keep the confidence that you tb have shown in me ........and that I will be finally brought from the trap .....of malicious cruelty.

Nanabelle · #**112** Dec 21, '11, 9:30 pm

Praying for you and your family.

Gracious Lord almighty, Jesus Christ,
let Thy sufferings aid us,
and defend us from all pain and grief,
all peril and misery,
all uncleanness of heart,
all sin,
all scandal and infamy,
from evil diseases Or soul and body,
from sudden and unforeseen death,
and from all persecution of our foes visible and invisible.
For we know that in what day or hour we call to mind Thy Passion,
we shall be safe.
Therefore, relying on Thine infinite tenderness,
we beseech Thee,
O loving Saviour,
by Thy most benignant and sacred sufferings
to protect us with gracious aid,
and in continual tenderness to preserve us from all evil.

Amen.

**tbcrawford** · #**113** Dec 22, '11, 7:02 am

Dear friend I continue to hold you and your son and all of your family in my prayers. Special ((HUGS)) for you also with warmest wishes to you.

God bless you

Lord please grant healing to her ill son and open the hearts and minds of all these family members.I ask You to comfort and guide our friend 'TheGreatestLove' please grant her strength and wisdom courage and faith.May she feel Your deep love for her as You have for all Your children.Lord please guide the doctors and medical professionals taking care fo her ill son.Please guide them to have the knowledge and skills necessary to help him and heal him.Lord please place Your healing hand upon our friend and this situation and grant this situation can be reconciled.Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

bre · #**114** Dec 22, '11, 7:08 am

Lord, hear our prayers

TheGreatestLove · #**115** Dec 22, '11, 5:07 pm

Thankyou Please continue to pray.................................... .......................

**tbcrawford** · #**116** Dec 23, '11, 8:17 am

Lord please grant healing to her ill son and open the hearts and minds of all these family members.I ask You to comfort and guide our friend 'TheGreatestLove' please grant her strength and wisdom courage and faith.May she feel Your deep love for her as You have for all Your children.Lord please guide the doctors and medical professionals taking care fo her ill son.Please guide them to have the knowledge and skills necessary to help him and heal him.Lord please place Your healing hand upon our friend and this situation and grant this situation can be reconciled.Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

Bix · #**117** Dec 23, '11, 1:57 pm

Blessed are you, loving Father,
Ruler of the universe:

You have given us Your Son as Your Leader,
And have made us temples of Your Holy Spirit.

Fill this family with Your light and peace.
Have mercy on all who suffer,
And bring us to everlasting joy with You.

Father,
We bless Your Name for ever and ever.
Amen.

**tbcrawford** · #**118** Dec 24, '11, 1:59 am

Lord please grant healing to her ill son and open the hearts and minds of all these family members.I ask You to comfort and guide our friend 'TheGreatestLove' please grant her strength and wisdom courage and faith.May she feel Your deep love for her as You have for all Your children.Lord please guide the doctors and medical professionals taking care fo her ill son.Please guide them to have the knowledge and skills necessary to help him and heal him.Lord please place Your healing hand upon our friend and this situation and grant this situation can be reconciled.Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

Irishmom2 · #**119** Dec 24, '11, 6:02 am

Blessings upon this mother and her children this Christmas. May the light of the Christ child shine on them this Christmas and fill their hearts with Joy, despite whatever else is going on in their lives.

Lord, please bring peace to this son and his mother. Help her find the words to help him. And also heal her own pain. Hold her in Your Love and have her feel You helping her when she feels weak. I ask this through the intercession of Your Most Holy Mother, Mary.

Miriam2626 · #**120** Dec 24, '11, 2:01 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul theApostle

Lord ,please send your mercy and love upon this child

Hail Mary, full of grace
The Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed
is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus
Holy Mary, mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death

Amen.

I'm praying hard for your child.
God bless you.